I want to share with you a profound revelation I had when walking through life with God this year.  My husband and I have been trying to conceive for about 4 years now.  The longer I go through the process, the more I realize what a common struggle it is for many marriages.  Along the journey, there have been ups and downs that have caused a lot of disappointment.

I bring up disappointment because of an experience I had at HCF’s Women’s Conference this past April, where D’Ann Cypert spoke directly to disappointment. She gave us tools to measure our disappointment. Each woman was given a cup and a bottle of water labeled “life.”  She asked us to pour a little bit of water into our cup as she was talking about a specific disappointment that was related to us.  I remember sitting there thinking, “I don’t know if this cup is big enough for all the disappointments!”

About a month after hearing D’Ann, I went to the doctor.  We had just gone through our first cycle of IUI and this was the 2nd week where I was to go in and have a pregnancy test.  As I was walking up to the building, God and I were having a conversation.

My conversation was a little like this: “God, you know how amazing it would be for you to just create a miracle!  I mean, I could tell everyone how marvelous you are and what a blessing this is in our life.  I could say that prayer works, you just need to have faith.”

Now, I believe that God has a sense of humor because I heard his voice clearly. His response was, “What if your answer is disappointment?  Will you still tell everyone how amazing I am?  Will you tell everyone about the blessings you have had in your life?  Will you praise me and thank me even if you are disappointed, and know that I am good?”

God is good.  In the end of Genesis, Joseph says:

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.

Joseph’s words to his brothers came from the perspective of many difficult circumstances, and the disappointments he lived through.  Joseph chose to look at the final product of God’s purpose:

God meant it for good, to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

The Bible is full of stories like Joseph’s where the worst thing that could ever happen to them actually happens!
Full of people who should have permission to give up hope because their situation is so horrible.
And God rescues them!

It’s not always in the way they wanted.  But in each case, God used it for His good and for His glory.

Finding myself in a position of wanting a family someday leaves me with two choices:

  • to sit in my disappointment and be a victim, or
  • choose to look at the pain and disappointment, and accept that in all things God has a plan and a purpose.

I can give it to God because I know that He is amazing and has a plan for my life.  He is a God of blessings, not disappointment.  He has never and will never fail his people—despite the outcome I want.

Why? Because our God is a good God.

This post was written by Tabitha von Haasl. To read more about her, click here. 

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