The Words We Speak to Ourselves

Editors note: During the month of April, we are focusing on “My Words Have Power”. Proverbs 18:21 says that “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Our words can speak life or death into those around us. Which will you choose?

How do we become anything other than who God created us to be? The question is one that has been on the forefront of my mind lately. It’s one I have really been wrestling with. 

I see my kids through the proud eyes of a mother. I see their strengths, their talents, and as I have been praying that God will show me how to lead them, I sometimes even get a glimpse of their destiny. But then they come home from being out in the world and they are often defeated. What I see as their strengths and giftings, the world tells them are their faults; that those very things make them different or weird. And I pray with all of my might, that they don’t change who God has created them to be, to fit in and please man. I pray they take those unkind notions and throw them to the wind. 

But I also see how I have done this in my own life. I have taken what people have said about me and turned it into my own thoughts. Oftentimes, it wasn’t even what they said, but a judgement that I made about what they might think of me. I have taken these insecurities and turned them into words that swirl around and around in my head and my heart. You see, my words don’t only possess power for those around me when I speak them out, but they also have so much power within my own mind. For many years, between the ages of 20-30, I was trapped in this way of living. The words I spoke over myself were not kind. They were full of self doubt, comparison, and a sense of lack. During that time, the power of my words that I used against myself, kept me hidden and powerless. My very own words were so powerful, that the enemy knew he could use them against me. If I could take the lies around me and turn them into thoughts and beliefs that I spoke over myself daily, then I would be rendered useless. And it was true. I lived a defeated life. 

When we are very young we begin doing this. We take our experiences and assign meaning to them. Sometimes the way we remember those experiences are accurate, but oftentimes our feelings will skew the truth. It is then, that we create misconceptions and untruths. We carry these lies with us throughout our lives and into adulthood, or we can begin to fight the lies with the truth of God’s word. 

A few years ago, my mother was turning 60 and I wanted to treat her to a special birthday trip. I thought it would be fun to go all out and show her how much she deserved. So I found a super nice, girly, fancy smancy hotel that I felt would be a real treat. It was above and beyond where we would normally stay. I couldn’t wait to spoil her. However, I wasn’t expecting the reaction that I got. We walked through the doors after being greeted by the doorman and into a beautiful lobby. I got us all checked in. As we began to walk away from the front desk, she said, “I don’t belong here. This place is too nice for me.” My heart broke in that moment. How could my mother believe this lie? She is a treasure to me. She is a strong, funny, beautiful woman, with a heart full of goodness. How could she not be good enough? But somewhere along her way, she grabbed ahold of a lie. She took it, and turned it into words that she had spoken over herself all the way into her adulthood. When she revealed the way she saw herself it brought tears to my eyes. 

But don’t we all do this in one way or another? 

I have a feeling that gut-wrenching response I had to her confession isn’t much different from the way God feels when he sees the words we are speaking over ourselves. He created a treasure when He created each of us. And when we call His treasure, trash, how do you think He feels?

It wasn’t until I was in my 30’s when I began to fully understand who I was in Christ. And it was then, that I began to speak different words over myself. Instead of telling myself I didn’t have what it takes, I knew God’s word says I am whole, complete and lacking nothing (James 1:4). Instead of saying, I wasn’t good enough. I began to claim the truth that says I am heir of Christ (Romans 8:17). 

My words have power. And your words have power. Even the words we speak to ourselves. 

So let’s take hold of that power and choose to use it for good. In Psalm 12:6  it says, “And the words of the Lord are flawless, like silver fined in a furnace of clay, purified seven times.” I want to take those words and believe them! 

I pray that “these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14). I pray that any woman reading these words, will be made aware of any lies that she is speaking over herself. God, I ask that your Holy Spirit would bring truth to those places and that your beautiful creation will choose to trade the lies for your truth. Show us who you say we are, and may we speak those with power and authority! Amen.

We would like to thank Robin Sanders for writing this blog post.

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