I had a friend text me today just to check in on me. She knows I have been growing (yes, growing, not going) through a season right now. It was a simple text, just saying she was thinking about me and my family and wanted to see how we were doing. At this point in my life, I have several friends that text me and that I text just to have a quick check in with them. This was not always the case for me, and it was something I prayed for often only a few years ago.
Making friends as an adult can be so difficult. Most of us want someone with similar interests, but someone who will also introduce us to new things. If a person is married or has kids, it’s easier if their friends are married and/or have kids. Location is definitely a plus too.
A few years ago, I had a lot of people I referred to as “work friends,” meaning, we were friends because we worked at the same location, spent many hours together, and because of that we had some similar interests. Those “work friends” were important, but not the kind of friends that text me to just check in on me.
A few years back I was going through some “growing pains” and realized I didn’t have close friends to lean on. No one texting me to check in on me. I felt alone. My husband was always willing to listen, but I needed a female’s perspective. I wanted friends. Not just one, but a group. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” Verse 12, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”
This is what I wanted for times when I was being attacked by the enemy. I no longer wanted to feel broken or defeated. The enemy knows that we are most vulnerable when we are alone. He tries all kinds of tactics to separate us, make us feel alone or unwanted. The feeling I had of “being too much” or that sharing my problems would be a burden to others, were lies from the enemy. So, I began praying about having friends I felt comfortable being vulnerable around. Friends who would want to celebrate my birthday with me. Friends who would text me just to check in on me. Friends raising their kids in a similar way, whom my kids would enjoy playing with.
Not only did I pray, but my husband and I decided we needed to invest our time in making friends as well. This meant inviting people to our home for a meal, meeting at the park, and joining a life group. Trying to make adult friends truly felt like dating again. Seeing if the family was a ‘good fit’. God answered my prayers with a quiver full of friends to call on and to celebrate. God doesn’t want us to be alone in our battles. He wants us to link arms, fight together, and sometimes cry together. This takes prayer, time investment, and vulnerability. It’s worth every bit though.
We want to thank Chelsea Criswell for sharing this post.
Women's Ministry 