Being a Mary in a Martha World

Do you wonder if you’ve ever entertained angels at some point in your life without even knowing it? I bet you have. The Word says in Hebrews 13:2, “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”

I grew up with one older sister and a very hard working single mother. She was gone to work before I woke up and would get home when the sun was down. She worked in the hot and dry heat of Yuma, AZ for a lettuce company. I remember when she would get home, I would take her muddy boots off while she took off what seemed like hundreds of bobby pins that held the bandanas up for covering her face. She would tell us about her day and we would tell her about ours.

My mother was and still is a beautiful example of what a heart of serving and hosting looks like. It’s a heart that says, “I’m so stinking tired from work, but these people are so important to me. I will be tired later and give them my attention and listen to what’s on their minds now.” She showed me that anytime someone comes to your house you offer them anything you have, even if it’s just a glass of water. Let people know that they are important and worth your attention.

Hospitality to me is when someone can feel at home in your presence. It’s us imitating what Jesus did in His life and in His death. His heart was always for others. The best hospitality focuses on the people you have invited—or even the ones you haven’t—who make their way into your home. It’s about making them feel welcomed, comfortable, and valuable. 

Take a look at Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42: 

“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’ ‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’”

Mary had chosen to focus on Jesus. Martha maintained focus on the busy preparations, even after the company showed up. Yes, the meal still needed to be cooked and the house was not ready. But we need to change the way we think and start to truly believe that genuine hospitality maintains a focus on the people and not all the other stuff. I looked up the definition of hospitality: friendliness, hospitableness, welcome, warm reception, helpfulness, neighbourliness, warmth, warm-heartedness, kindness, kind-heartedness and so on. 

Sometimes as women, we’re too much like Martha and begin to believe lies: my house is not beautiful enough, I’m not a good enough cook, I have to “people” all day and don’t want to “people” anymore, what if they pull one of my daughter’s bras out of the couch (yeah, it happened). My friends, trust me when I say they are not there for the food or to see if you have been Chip and Joanna Gaines-ing your home. I can guarantee you that if you send an invitation to someone to come to your home, they are going to feel so loved just by the simple thought that you noticed them and are intentional enough to say, “Hey, come over and hang out with me!” Don’t shortchange yourself by believing the lies that keep you from enjoying the wonderful connections God has for you. 

I remember one day at church I heard someone say that Facebook is so misleading because it can make you feel like you’re already connected to people. That opened my eyes so much because yes, you do think you and all those people are tight already simply because you watched the video of their child in the ballet recital that they posted or know that this person changed jobs because they announced it or that they are on a keto diet and you know what they are eating for breakfast, lunch, and dinner because you saw their pictures and even know how many calories that was, so why do I need to hang out with them?

Let’s be intentional, friends. Let me challenge you by saying call someone up today. Yes I said it: CALL. Don’t text them, don’t marco polo them. Call them and say, “Hey, would you like to come over for some frozen Red Baron pizza?” Stuffed crust Digiorno if it’s close to payday :). I guarantee you that they will be so ecstatic that you called and thought of them. And when they do come, don’t be like Martha and tell them what all is wrong with your house. Be like Mary and sit at their feet and listen to them with all attentiveness as if it were Jesus himself. 

We would like to thank Christina Parker for writing this blog!

Sexual Immorality Vs. Sexual Purity

Editor’s Note: This fall we will be doing a 10-part series on Flesh vs. Spirit. We hope these ladies’ testimonies will encourage and inspire you to keep pushing through, to keep battling, to keep believing in God’s truth that says you are an OVERCOMER. Though it sometimes feels like we are losing the battle, we have overwhelming victory though Christ and His blood shed on the cross. Be encouraged today!

In today’s culture, it’s obvious that sexuality is a hot topic. But what is God’s view on purity vs. immorality, and how do we get to the place where we all want to be, with a healthy view of sexuality no matter what stage of life we are in?

Purity is not just a subject that we teach teens about one Wednesday night each semester at church when they become the right age. It starts with building a relationship with your 4, 5, or 6 year-old. No, I am absolutely not saying to discuss the topic of sex with your young children, but I am saying that these are the years that the foundation of a good relationship is built between you and your children. These are the years that you engrain in your kids the truth about who God says they are. These are the years that you teach them how to treat others in a way that is pleasing to the Lord. Your children need to know that they are loved and valued members of your family and that their thoughts and opinions matter. There should never be a doubt in their mind that they belong in your family. It is important for kids to know that they too can be an example of faith and purity (1 Timothy 4:12).

And what about the season of singleness? Being a young, single woman is the perfect time to learn and grow deeper in the Word, allow God to speak to your heart, and seek spiritual mentorship and guidance. Abstaining from sexual immorality is not designed to hurt you by any means; it is designed by God to protect your heart. God is a good God, and when the time comes for you to enter into marriage, everyone will celebrate with you and guide you to a healthy sex life. Do not try to fast forward and miss out on all the good things God has for you in this stage of life. By waiting and keeping yourself pure, you are declaring that you are in agreement with what God has for you and your future and you will wait on his timing (1 Timothy 5:22). When a foundation is built on biblical truths and healthy relationships, it’s much easier to trust that God is designing and forming your mate, even as you wait in singleness.

My married friends, you aren’t off the hook! Hebrews 13:4 states, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” With this in mind, I propose that purity is not something we attain, but something we have to keep moving toward. Even immorality can exist in our marriage when our hearts aren’t right before God. Sexual purity is a pathway that leads to intimacy in the marriage bed.

Intimacy in marriage is not just about the sex; it’s about being known and seen deeply. Intimacy is about deeply connecting emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically with your spouse. However, we need to take a deeper look at why we are being intimate with our husbands. Is is a “to-do” you need to check off your list? Or is it to be known and seen deeply, they way that God sees you?

Right after Kambree (our oldest) was born, I was diagnosed with secondary infertility. Simply put, I could not conceive or carry a child after having a successful pregnancy. Because our desire was to have a large family, Josh and I were heartbroken. This diagnosis led to 4 years of surgeries, infertility treatments, pregnancy losses, heartbreak, feelings of lack, frustration, and the list could go on. Because of this, my healthy intimate life with my husband was immediately turned into a task and the “perfect timing” for the medication to have an optimal effect so we could potentially grow our family like we both desired.

Changing my unhealthy view of sex, and getting back to a healthy place was difficult to say the least. In Matthew, we find that the pure hearted will experience and hear from God (5:8). God does not desire sex to be a task on your list. In fact, He has given sex to a couple to grow and learn together but, most importantly, to be known and seen deeply how the Father sees you.

When a relationship is built in the earlier years, discussing this hard topic with your children in the later years is easier and better received. My prayer for you all is that you would desire a pure heart with Godly intentions no matter what stage you find yourself in. God is the God who sees your heart and your desires. You have permission to speak freely with Him!

We would like to thank Mallory Burgett for writing this post!!!

Ungrateful Vs. Grateful

Editor’s Note: This fall we will be doing a 10-part series on Flesh vs. Spirit. We hope these ladies’ testimonies will encourage and inspire you to keep pushing through, to keep battling, to keep believing in God’s truth that says you are an OVERCOMER. Though it sometimes feels like we are losing the battle, we have overwhelming victory though Christ and His blood shed on the cross. Be encouraged today!

For as long as I can remember, my mother has always taught me manners. Manners like, “yes ma’am,” “no ma’am,” “thank you,” and “you’re welcome.” Since becoming a mother a little over 9 years ago, I have tried my absolute best to pass down the trait of manners. Now, the question is…do we really mean it? Are manners just us going through the motion because that is what we are taught? 

To be completely honest with you, I have not always been so grateful or had a heart of “manners” in certain circumstances. At times, I have acted in an ungrateful manner. I’m going to have to go out on a limb and say we all may have at some point in our lives.

But the fact of the matter is, it’s pleasing to the ear and heart to hear someone say, “Thank you!” with a pure and grateful heart. 

Growing up in a household of seven with a father who worked as a full-time minister, you learn to be grateful. My father gave everything he had to pursue the calling God had placed on his life. What did that mean 25+ years ago? It meant limited income. I was raised to be thankful for every meal placed in front of me and every piece of clothing that was placed on my back, which my mother worked so hard to perfect through her sewing. Through all things, God always provided time and time again.

We often forget to be grateful for the needs for which God has provided. Instead we are caught up in being ungrateful for the things we want but don’t or can’t have. 

It is discouraging when you see children and teens acting as if they’re owed something or deserve something. Unfortunately, as adults we, too, act like this. We often act like ungrateful, unappreciative children in our relationship with God. Can we just ponder on how that must make him feel? He is the God of grace, mercy, unconditional love, and forgiveness. But yet, we forget to give Him thanks and often times we take what he has given us for granted. We can catch ourselves feeling as though he has forsaken us when we are not at the place we want to be with our job, finances, physical ability, or our health. When we do not succeed in what we want, we get upset. 

As grandparents, parents, aunts, siblings, and people of influence and authority, we need to be an example and teach our loved ones to have a grateful heart. In scripture, God teaches and commands us to give thanks in all things. Evaluate your heart and ask God to change the ways of your heart and to forgive you for any thoughts or traits of feeling ungrateful. 

“In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”
– Thessalonians 5:18

Dear Heavenly Father,

We come before you and ask that you renew our minds and our hearts. That in all things and in all circumstance you would give us a heart of overflowing gratitude, not for what we have or how much we have, but for what you have given us. Let us remember to always give thanks in the calm and through the storm, on the mountain and through the valley. It is in your mighty name we pray, Amen.

Have a great Thanksgiving.

We would like to thank Jerika Longoria for writing this post!

Drunkenness Vs. Sobriety

Editor’s Note: This fall we will be doing a 10-part series on Flesh vs. Spirit. We hope these ladies’ testimonies will encourage and inspire you to keep pushing through, to keep battling, to keep believing in God’s truth that says you are an OVERCOMER. Though it sometimes feels like we are losing the battle, we have overwhelming victory though Christ and His blood shed on the cross. Be encouraged today!

I have never met a person who doesn’t struggle with meeting his or her needs outside of Christ at some point and in some fashion. It is a battle we all face:  flesh vs. Spirit or life vs. death. 

We find ourselves feeling insecure, so we eat another cookie. 

We are struggling at work, so we spend more time on social media. 

We’ve been listening to negative self-talk, so we criticize and lash out at the ones we love the most. 

We feel stressed by the dishes in the sink, the toddler at our ankle or family dynamics that are less than perfect, so we reach for a glass of wine.

These ways of ‘coping’ are often the small foxes that keep us from living the abundant life Christ has promised us.

Many years ago, the Lord showed me a passage in the book of Proverbs that has stuck with me.

Proverbs 23:29-35

“Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaints? Who has needless bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes? Those who linger over wine, who go to sample bowls of mixed wine. Do not gaze at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it goes down smoothly! In the end it bites like a snake and poisons like a viper. Your eyes will see strange sights, and your mind will imagine confusing things. You will be like one sleeping on the high seas, lying on top of the rigging. “They hit me,” you will say, “but I’m not hurt! They beat me, but I don’t feel it! When will I wake up so I can find another drink?”

So, let’s consider alcohol, and how often, in the flesh, we use it to meet our needs, or help us cope. My question to you is this:  Have you embraced the lie that alcohol will help…

You fill in the blank. 

Society has lulled us to sleep on this issue. They have called us “legalistic” for speaking up against the lies about alcohol. They have told us the Bible says not to be “drunk” with wine, not that we can’t “drink” wine. But I would say, I’d rather live a life that relies on the Spirit to meet my needs and comfort my pain, than believe the lie that alcohol is somehow able to do that.

I’ve lost count of how many families I know who have been destroyed by the effects of alcohol. How many church leaders have walked away from the faith and brought pain to the body of Christ because of alcohol.  How many teenagers have found themselves in compromising situations because of alcohol, their innocence stolen from them. How many husbands, or wives, have walked away from their families because of alcohol. 23 years in ministry puts you smack dab in the middle of people’s pain. And each time a person has been effected by the devastation of alcohol he/she will tell you, “In the end it bites like a snake and poisons like a viper.”

I’ve loved our recent blog series on walking in the flesh vs the Spirit. It has reminded me that we all struggle, but there is a real God who lives within each surrendered Christian heart, empowering him or her to deny the flesh.

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

2 Corinthians 3:17

It is the Spirit that sets us free from the flesh.

It is the Spirit that empowers us to live in victory so that we are not attempting to meet our own needs, but leaning into Christ to have those needs met.

This reality is liberating. When we stop and realize we are living in a way that brings pain to ourselves and others we can repent, turning from our sin, and instead begin walking in the freedom Christ has for us. I would much rather be honest with my emotions, face my pain, and allow the Holy Spirit to bring me freedom, than live in the cycle of hurt that alcohol brings. 

I want to challenge you today. If you struggle with turning to alcohol to meet your needs, be brave and reach out to me. I want to help you find true healing that comes from a living God who knows you intimately and is always ready to meet your needs. 

With all my love, Julie Snellgrove

Chaos Vs. Peace

Editor’s Note: This fall we will be doing a 10-part series on Flesh vs. Spirit. We hope these ladies’ testimonies will encourage and inspire you to keep pushing through, to keep battling, to keep believing in God’s truth that says you are an OVERCOMER. Though it sometimes feels like we are losing the battle, we have overwhelming victory though Christ and His blood shed on the cross. Be encouraged today!

“Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit” (3 John 1:2, NLT).

There’s no doubt about it: our physical health and our spiritual health are connected. But when you start bringing up the topic of mental health, most people tend to get squirmy. There is so much stigma around “mental health issues.” But what is it, exactly? And how does taking care of our mental health tie into our role as Christians?

Mental health is simply a broad term for how the chemicals in our brain are affecting our emotions. Those emotions, in turn, will affect the way we react to (and interact with) the world around us.

God has created our brains to work together with our bodies in amazing ways. But because we live in a world that’s not perfect, sometimes people have an imbalance of the needed chemicals in their brain. This might cause them to struggle more than others with depression, anxiety, loneliness, etc.

If you struggle in these areas, does that make you a bad person? No. Does that make you a broken person? No. Does that make you less of a Christian? No.

I love how Romans 7:24 through chapter 8, verse 2 puts it:

“Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to Him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.”

Jesus was in a human body just like we are. He knows the struggles we face.

My friend, let me assure you of this: It is okay to ask for help. There is no shame in taking pills if you need them. Sometimes we need the medications to get our brains on track (putting the chemicals back into balance) before we can make other good choices for our lives. There is no shame in seeing a counselor if you need to. There is no shame in taking care of your mental health, just like you take care of your physical health. The Holy Spirit has freed you of that shame because of what Jesus did! He has broken the power of shame and sin over your life. You can walk in the abundant life He has called you to.

Some simple tips for taking care of your mental health may seem obvious. But so often, these are the first things to go in our own personal lives:

– Getting enough sleep

– Getting enough sunshine/vitamin D

– Surrounding yourself with life-giving friends

– Staying hydrated

– Eating healthy foods

– Keeping active

– Taking time to do things you enjoy

– Going to the doctor: Check vitamin and mineral levels; Check hormone levels; Get on needed medications

– Going to a professional counselor 

You have the responsibility to take care of your body, mind, and spirit. As Mary Oliver has famously written: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Be courageous and take care of your body, so that you are able to do all the wonderful things God has put in front of you to do (Ephesians 2:10; Hebrews 13:21). You are worth it.

Because we live in a world that’s not perfect, we are all broken in some ways. But we don’t have to be defined or labeled by our brokenness. We are new creations (1 Cor. 5:17)!

God has chosen to work through people in building His Church, but people are imperfect. I’m sorry if people in the church have hurt you with their words or their actions. That is not okay. Please forgive me on their behalf for how you have been treated. 

Please know that you have a valuable role in the Church. You have a place here. There is a space only you can fill. All of your story–including your mental health–matters. Don’t hold back because of your struggles. Get the help you need. Be brave and ask for help. And then offer your gifts, your personality, and your heart to those around you. We need YOU.

We would like to thank Heather Dillard for writing this post!

Rage Vs. Self Control

Editor’s Note: This fall we will be doing a 10-part series on Flesh vs. Spirit. We hope these ladies’ testimonies will encourage and inspire you to keep pushing through, to keep battling, to keep believing in God’s truth that says you are an OVERCOMER. Though it sometimes feels like we are losing the battle, we have overwhelming victory though Christ and His blood shed on the cross. Be encouraged today!

“Move me, O Spirit, to quiet my heart…”

Imagine you are writing a recipe to cook up the yuckiest, most rage-filled moments of your life. I can tell you mine in this season of life (to which I am sure some of you can relate at one time or another), but everyone’s recipe looks a little different. Mine goes a little something like this:

Ingredients:

1 C snoozed alarm (enough to make everyone frantic)

2 C early morning demands with no routine to follow

1.5 C argument with husband

½ C toddler refusing shoes

½ C hair drama

¾ C late night tv watching/Facebook scrolling

2 tsp horrible diet

2 tsp caffeine jitters

1 ½ tsp traffic

Directions: Preheat oven to 5,000 degrees. Throw all ingredients into a bowl. Mix vigorously. Pour mixture into a pan. Cook to a burnt, crunchy crisp.

I joke obviously, but I really have found myself cooking up this recipe time and time again, and not surprisingly, I lose my religion every time over something as mundane as a forgotten water bill. And although the ingredients may vary, this recipe always leads to an explosion of words and tears and all sorts of nonsense that ain’t nobody got time for!

In truth, when an eruption occurs, we know that it is not really the things on the surface that actually cause the explosion. It is all the feelings and emotions not being dealt with underneath the surface, simmering and pressurizing, and eventually exploding under the weight of life’s chaotic nature. It is the flesh holding onto feelings and control in such a deep way that it causes a blast of fury. It is desperately trying to control everything on the outside, instead of what is really happening on the inside.

Proverbs 25 says that “a person without self-control, is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out.” Our flesh is the same as this house. Even though the house is standing tall and strong, the enemy can just climb through a window or walk through the front door and go straight after all the precious valuables inside the home. When we allow our spirit to be pulled away from our flesh and we engage in a rage-filled frenzy, our defenses are down. Our beloved heart, God’s most precious treasure that He has filled with His wisdom and mercy, is left wide-open for attack by Satan, who loves to see us weak and broken. But friends, no one can live in a house with a broken door and windows. And no one can live with a broken heart that has no security or protection. That is not how God has asked us to live.

Choosing to live in the spirit with a heart that is centered on self-control begins with surrender. The Psalmist writes that God “rules over the oceans and the swelling seas…when the stormy waves rise, He speaks, and they lie still.” The wave of rage takes us over because we have failed to surrender all the overwhelming feelings that our Divine Maker never intended for us to carry around. But alignment and control are not on your shoulders. Surrender the feelings. Surrender the control. Surrender the idea that you are more powerful and mighty than the Creator of the Universe. Believe me, you are not. And you don’t want to be!

You have the greatest defender of them all in your corner.

Next time you are standing in the middle of a raging storm of chaos, stop and think about who is fighting your battle and protecting your heart. If you are standing firm in the spirit of the Living God, your windows and door cannot be broken, and you will not feel rage. You will feel peace. Because God is the Prince of Peace. And He will be your Peace, even when you don’t feel peace.

At the end of the day, all the craziness and chaos that make this life hard, will not cease. But remember friend, you are ruled by the One who already has your heart completely.

I’ll end with this beautiful scripture from James 1: 19-21, in one of my favorite translations, The Message. Tend to the weeds and thorns in your heart, so that your Father God can “make a salvation-garden of your life.” Love you friends.

“Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger. So, throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life.” James 1: 19-21 MSG

We would like to thank Emily Parker for writing this blog!

Worry Vs. Trust

Editor’s Note: This fall we will be doing a 10-part series on Flesh vs. Spirit. We hope these ladies’ testimonies will encourage and inspire you to keep pushing through, to keep battling, to keep believing in God’s truth that says you are an OVERCOMER. Though it sometimes feels like we are losing the battle, we have overwhelming victory though Christ and His blood shed on the cross. Be encouraged today!

As I sit here and think about what to write, all I can do is worry that I am not going to write this the way it should be written. I worry that no one is going to like it. I worry, “why me? I am not capable of writing a blog about worry when all I do is worry.”

I am in a battle with my flesh right now, and I think that as women, we do this a lot more than we realize. What I do know is that when I worry, I have to remind myself who I am in Christ. The truth of our Father has to be louder than the lies of the enemy. I am an overcomer. I am righteous. I am loved. I am capable of all things, and I am made perfect in Christ. So are you. God does not call the equipped. He equips the called.

I am sitting at my computer looking out into an empty classroom. I look around my classroom and think, “Wow! How did I get here?” This classroom and this job are examples of how I choose to trust God instead of worrying. It took me a really long time to decide what I wanted to do with my life. Once I decided to go back to school and become a math teacher, it seemed like my life finally started to fall into place. Through this journey I had to trust God that He knew what was right for me. 

The first interview I received was with the high school. My certification was not high school math; it was middle school. I took the interview because it had been a long time since I had interviewed for a job. I left and within a few hours received a call offering me the job. Boy, did the worry set in! Not only was it a new job, but I would also have to take another state test to get my high school certification. This terrified me! I have never been so nervous and so hard on myself. 

Some of the things that I told myself were, “I can’t teach high school math,” “I cannot pass the state test,” “God, why!?” I remember distinctly one morning while getting ready, God laid on my heart a song we sing with our littles in Kid City. “My God is so big so strong and so mighty there’s nothing my God cannot do!” During this song, He reminded me that He knows what is best and He sees the future. Even after that gentle reminder, I still worried.  

He then gave me a verse that I now have on my wall. It is Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” In that moment, I said, “Ok God, I trust that you know what is best for my life and my family.” 

We just got through teaching our kids in Kid City that we can trust God through our ups and downs and have faith that He sees the big picture from beginning to end. We cannot see the end, but He can. If you feel yourself in the midst of worry, surround yourself with people that will lift you up and encourage you. In the midst of your ups and downs, try to find something positive on which to place your focus. When you can focus on something good, the worry seems to fade away, and you receive peace in knowing that God does have a plan for you. It is so supernatural crazy the peace He gives when we choose to trust Him instead of worrying. He is a good, good Father

Lastly, remember who you are in Christ. Just as I tell each and every one of the kids in Kid City, “You are made from Christ, and you are made perfect in every way!”

We would like to thank Kaylene Vanbebber for writing this post!