As children we learn the nursery rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” That is the biggest lie we tell our kids and ourselves. Let me give you one example. A few years ago, Don and I went to Ruidoso to celebrate our anniversary. We were married in the middle of December, so it was cold. We went to dinner and a show at the Spencer Theater. Did I mention it was cold? Well, it was very cold when everyone started scurrying to their warm cars after the show. There was an older couple walking in front of us. The husband was holding his wife’s hand, and he was walking at a faster pace than she was. They got to a curb and as she stepped up, she caught her toe and stumbled and fell. Luckily, she wasn’t hurt. The husband was exasperated with her clumsiness. While others (Don and I included) stopped to help her up, the husband just stood there. Once we made sure she was ok they continued to their car. Don and I were following because we were parked close by. Not realizing we were in earshot the husband glanced at the wife and said, “You’re an idiot.” The wife turned to her husband said, “You’re an idiot.” And that just proved that words can hurt. I’ve often wondered what else was said between that couple. Not just that night but on other occasions in their lives.
Proverbs 15:4 says, “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.”
I understand how words can crush a spirit. All my life, I have been guilty of negative self-talk. I have told myself I’m dumb, worthless, unlovable, hopeless. The words I have spoken to myself about myself have done extreme damage to not only my self-esteem but also to my relationship with others and most of all with my Heavenly Father. The words I said to myself led me to believe the lies of the evil one.
Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat it’s fruit.”
The fruit I was eating was rotten. It caused pain to so many people. And in the process of living with those lies in my head I hit rock bottom. But in reality, that was probably one of the best things that could have happened to me.
Genesis 50:20 says, “What the enemy meant for harm, God meant it for good.”
I was blessed to find a wonderful Christian counselor who has helped me to learn the truth of the words that I say to myself. Yes, the evil one still attacks and says painful things to me, but I have also learned to listen to the truth spoken over me by my Heavenly Father. In the process of seeking truth over lies I have become bolder in how I not only talk to myself but also to others. I choose and try to speak life and truth into people’s lives. I want to be known as a Proverbs 31 woman. Especially Proverbs 31:26- “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” Have I got that self-talk completely under control? No. But it’s a work in progress. Our words must bring life and healing to those around us and for the one we see in the mirror because when you speak a word, you can’t take it back.
So back to my original statement: “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” It has been proven to me that words can be just as damaging and hurtful as a physical weapon.
Matthew 12:36 tells us, “But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgement for every empty word they have spoken.”
So, my prayer is: “Lord, make my words good!”
We want to thank Hope Warren for sharing this post.
Women's Ministry 