There was a season in my life where I felt more dead than alive. I was depressed from decisions I had made, and continued to make, and effectively choosing to walk away from grace. I dragged dread with me everywhere I went. I look back now and see the chains that were holding me down, but at the time, I couldn’t seem to break free.
I had plenty of people in my life who cared and loved me fiercely. They tried to help, to understand, but there was an invisible wall they couldn’t break down to get to the hurt. They would try to speak wisdom into my life and fix the issue that was making me miserable, but I held back from accepting it. I had no idea of my worth or my identity.
I had always been told that God our Father was a gentleman and would never push any decision on his children. I see the graciousness in that now, but at the time, it made me angry. I wanted out of my situation, but I wasn’t willing to surrender my fear. The fear and anxiety had become a comfort. It was a presence I was used to and familiar with. Letting go of that and moving into freedom scared me.
I had a breaking point one Sunday evening when my godmother, Jenny, came up to me after a service. I felt so dejected, ashamed, and alone with my situation. She had been a constant presence in my life, praying and waiting patiently for the Lord’s timing to make her move. That evening, she came and reminded me of my worth, my identity as a daughter of the King. It seems so simple, but it was a transforming moment. Holy Spirit began to show me that after all I had done, and not done, that He was good and gracious and he had not given up on me! From there, Jenny and others in my life began moving at the Holy Spirit’s calling to show me how events in my life had led to strongholds that needed to be broken off me. They pointed me toward my savior, His grace and mercy, and were his hands and feet. They had been filled with his gracious generosity, and they shared that with me. It was life changing.
“The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.” Proverbs 11:25
“The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever. He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him.” Psalms 103:8-13
May we, as women of God, remember to listen to His calling and share his gracious generosity with those He has called us to minister to.
We want to thank Christian Greer for sharing this post.
Women's Ministry 