I really don’t want to write this post. I would much rather sit across from you on my couch with my cup of coffee and instead hear your story and share mine. A year and a half ago, my very young marriage ended in heartbreak as my husband walked away. I was left a single mom to a sweet little girl trying to pick up the pieces and asking so many of the questions that you have probably asked yourself. How do you trust God who would allow such tragedy to happen, after you trusted Him? How on earth can the God who says He “works all things together for my good” think this is good? Why would He allow those things to happen? If I am being honest, it is hard to trust again after all of your dreams, plans, and hopes have been shattered and the fears you have spent so long running from become reality.
I don’t know if I have the perfect answer for you, the one that will make everything that happened to you be alright and make you go “back to normal.” The reality is sometimes God allows tragedy to expose what our trust is really in, or He uses it to invite us to trust Him in deeper ways. When I started to sit with this blog post, I asked God how do *I* trust again. He clearly said, “Trust begins with fear.” Now, I don’t want you to be confused. He did not mean being afraid. Many times, when our trust is shattered, we allow fear to be the thing we cling to. We build walls around our heart and declare, “I have trust issues,” or “I don’t trust anyone.” I get the sentiment, I really do. Why would I let someone back in that has hurt me? However, the only one who is hurt by this is us.
Instead, the word for fear He was pointing me to is Yirah in Hebrew. This word does not only mean being afraid, but it also means respect, reverence, and worship. It is a type of awe that is closely tied to trembling. When we look at scripture, we see in Psalms 33:18, “Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope in His steadfast love, that He may deliver their soul from death and keep them alive in famine.” The fear of the Lord causes us to place our hope in Him and keep us from death, because fear sees God rightly. He is the one who can sustain and can give us life. He is someone worthy of being trusted, because He is the only one capable of fulfilling His promises.
A few verses down from the one I just referenced, it says, “Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in Him because we trust in His holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us even as we hope in you.” Psalm 33:21-22. Trust is calm assurance that the one who is bearing the weight of what has been given can and will hold it well. Trust requires faith in the one that it is put in. When it is put in anything or anyone other than God himself, it is folly, because it cannot bear the weight. Fear allows our hearts to trust God again because we see Him for who He is: Sustainer, Creator, Promise-Keeper, Healer, Redeemer, the list could go on and on. But it starts with a humble admission that we are not the center of His world, but that He entered ours to save us. He is the greatest good that we could have.
Trusting Him won’t disappoint you, but if you feel disappointed, don’t rush past that feeling. Instead, sit with it and submit it to Him. Tell Him that you feel like He abandoned you and didn’t do what you thought He would. Then, after you are done, sit and listen. The verse I just quoted says, “Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in Him because we trust in His holy name.” Psalms 33:20-21. We need to wait for the Lord to speak, and He will, sweet sister. If we sit waiting, He will answer us, and rest assured that what He says will draw us ever closer to His heart. Remember, we do not need to be afraid of what comes next or afraid to allow God back in after rejecting Him. Instead, repent of this fear, and take up a holy fear that worships and kneels in awe of Him and He will hold you close as you learn to trust Him again.
We want to thank Savanna Rodriguez for sharing this post.
Women's Ministry 