My husband Heath and I have been married for 10 years now, and when we were just dating back in 2011 I was the full time assistant manager at maurices. I worked there for 4 years, and during that time one of the requirements was to offer the option of signing up for the credit card to every single one of our customers. And if you know me very well, you know I love to SHOP, and being immersed in an environment of new clothes all the time did not help my self-control in regards to my card swiping abilities. We were encouraged to wear current clothes there to be a walking mannequin to the customers (makes sense, right?) My manager at the time talked me into getting the credit card (my first one ever) and from an innocent place, I truly thought I could use it and pay it off on paydays. Full disclosure – did I ask my husband if he thought that credit card was a good idea? NOPE. I want to encourage you here: our husbands often provide wisdom when our brains want to act impulsively (the opposite of self-control, I might add). More on that later though.
We have been learning this year in 2 Peter chapter 1 that God has given us the ability to share in his divine nature (verse 4) but keep reading! The rest of the passage says we are able to escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires through these precious promises.
Don’t you think human (aka fleshly) desires are the biggest cause for us to deliberately choose to not have self-control and just live on impulse? Human desires like keeping up with the Jones’, upholding an image we really don’t have or that we think we need, thinking we constantly need to have all the brand new stuff, when in reality we need to be content with what we have.
I mean think about it; when we actually slow down, take a deep breath, and give ourselves time to truly assess something, we typically end up making a better choice simply because we are allowing not only our own minds to process, but we are allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to us regarding the situation. And like verse 6 says in our scripture, we are to supplement our knowledge with self-control and our self-control with patient endurance (aka perseverance). I don’t think that was said in that order on accident.
So more on my story; I got a credit card without talking with my husband first. Before getting it, I honestly already shopped way too much and I thought a credit card would somehow help our paycheck to paycheck finances we were living with (and boy was I wrong.)
Growing up, I shopped until I dropped with family members and friends, and often. It was all I had ever known, and I never really knew it was supposed to be or could be different. And I’ve learned now that there’s a better way.
As a woman, shopping is one of those things that I *think* will make me feel better, and it might for a moment, but in the end I usually just get mad that I impulsively bought something that I may or may not have needed, spent money we could have used somewhere else or saved, and then end up frustrated that I feel like I have to hide it from my husband because of that, instead of remembering that my joy comes from Christ alone. Doesn’t that sound exhausting?
Most times when it feels like we are lacking self-control, we are simply not dwelling in God’s precious promises and his divine nature. We’ve allowed those human desires to take root and let the enemy convince us that our ways are better.
Often times, having self-control can seem impossible, whether you’re a woman who struggles with impulse buying and shopping behind your husband’s back, or if you struggle with over eating or turning to other things for comfort in moments of distress or overwhelm.
In whatever area you struggle with self-control in, God is asking you to let Christ rule as King in your heart. We can have self-control because God is in control.
If I can tell you anything about my past experience today, it’s that I wish I had been more vulnerable to share my struggles with other women in our church. I was ashamed and I allowed the enemy to convince me that no other Godly woman I knew could possibly be struggling in this area like I was. I just needed to suck it up and deal with it on my own. That is a big fat lie my friends, and no matter what your struggle is regarding self-control, there is someone out there who can help you, pray for you, and provide practical resources to allow you to work through whatever it is.
Upon my confession to my husband about the debt I had developed with my credit card, I realized I needed to truly surrender to what the Bible says about wives being submissive to their husbands. I learned that true self-control comes from a surrendered heart, and that I honestly needed to surrender to the obedience of Christ so that I could experience the fullness of God’s promises (which, like our scripture says, is our own ability to live in God’s divine nature because it’s our own).
I want to encourage you today to be honest with yourself. Maybe you need to admit there’s an area of your life where you need God’s help in applying and practicing self-control. My advice to you is to share that with someone you trust and then surrender it to the Lord in prayer together. We have the King of Kings on our side and the opportunity to allow Him to rule in our hearts. Remember, self-control comes from a surrendered heart, and we can have self-control because God is in control.
We would like to thank Paige Keller for sharing this post.
Women's Ministry 