I had a crazy childhood. Not in the way most would think, but even so, it felt crazy. My sister and I were conjoined twins. Crazy right?! We were born connected. We were separated when we were 1 and had surgeries throughout our early childhood as a result.
Looking back, I learned to see where the enemy took things that God meant for blessings in our situation and fed me lies. God gave me a sister to walk through those crazy unrelatable circumstances. He BLESSED me with a friend and sibling to walk through those times with; to have someone to relate and talk with. However, the enemy snuck in and fed lies to make us feel uniquely alone in those moments.
I remember a situation in school when I was in track. I was not good at all at running (because of, you know, the conjoined twin thing), like not even clearing the second curve of the track while everyone else was finished, getting the pitiful “you’ve got this” clap! As I was sucking air back in my lungs, my coach so graciously offered me the manager position because I would be “good at it”. (FYI this coach was amazing and had a lot of compassion). That story makes me laugh but it is such a kind, merciful story. God placed a community around my sister and I to be a blessing, a cushion, to have understanding and grace for us.
BUT. The enemy took those stories and fed lies. People would tell us things like: “You are a miracle.” The enemy’s lie: “Wow, you shouldn’t even be here.” People would say: “Oh my, your poor parents.” The enemy’s lie: “Wow, what a burden you must be.”
Fast forward to growing up, I struggled with doubt and unbelief. Of course, I did. I was living off lies about who God was and what He said about me. The truth was that God was a merciful God who wanted to be glorified in our crazy situation, to provide us blessings for His glory, but I was seeing God through the lens of what the enemy was saying about God, and Me! This made life feel heavy, like a burden, like I was walking through mud. It affected relationships, my desire to overachieve to prove myself, my worth. Walking through life through the lens of the enemy was heavy.
God slowly began to work on me, helping me through His word, friends, through my husband. Constant reminders of truth, of who GOD is and who HE says I am. I got to a point where I laid it all out to God, praying, “Show me who YOU are. Heal my unbelief. Heal my critical heart, my performance heart.” I laid all false beliefs, all beliefs from what man had taught me, and went to the Source. I began reading Gods word (the Bible) diligently. God so faithfully showed me exactly who He is, who HIS character is. And what He says about ME. The Freedom that has come through understanding God through HIS word has been undeniable.
I get this picture of walking through mud, but with rose colored glasses, not knowing why things feel heavy, not knowing you’re in the mud. And when we take the glasses off, we can realize the mud, the lies we are viewing life through, and start walking on the road with God, in the truth of what God says, through His Word.
We must KNOW God to walk with God. We need to understand HIS truth to hold it up to the enemy’s schemes, to the lies we are believing.
James 1:25 says, “But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.”
Galatians 5:1 says: “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
If you are feeling the heaviness or burden of life, look to the truth. God has given us his Word through the Bible. It is alive and living. When I began studying God’s word diligently, my understanding of who God is and who He says I am changed. It has allowed me to walk in the freedom of Christ. I encourage you to use the community God has surrounded you with but ultimately, we must know the truth of what God says as our standard to walk in freedom.
We want to thank Lori Johnson for sharing this post.
Women's Ministry 