Faith Through Trials

In September, a year will have passed since my mom went to her heavenly home. Not everyone knows the circumstances that went on behind the scenes. My mom lived a long and fulfilling life. However, it was her last year of life that would bring many challenges. Those challenges would bring me to my knees with a heart that searched for God.

The last year was filled with physical pain for my mom. Weak and brittle bones, her spine collapsing on itself, pinched nerves, and a diagnosis of Parkinson’s Disease. That physical pain eventually led to mental pain and heartache, not only for her but for me as well.

Many prayers were said for us. As time passed, it seemed as if those prayers were going unanswered. As pain increased and earthly help seemed nonexistent, I began to question why a good God was not responding to cries for help. As her problems began to mount up, it became overwhelming. Through this, I learned something. It’s the Lord’s will, not ours. Sometimes God uses the darkness to lead us to the light, death to bring new life. Through deep disappointments and lots of anxiety, anger, and heartache, all I could do was hold onto Jesus and allow Him to hold me.

Micah 7:7 says, “But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.” 

During this time God began to reveal where all those prayers went. Instead of God changing His plans for my wants, He began changing my wants for His plans.Everyone wants to be on the mountaintop, but it’s in the valley where faith grows. He showed me how deep disappointment and heartache can turn into a deep relationship with Him. He began to reveal how worry can turn into confidence, sadness into joy, anger into peace, and bad into good.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’”  

Through afflictions you come to know Jesus more intimately. That relationship is more valuable than anything you can find here on Earth. It takes faith. God can take disappointments and turn it into a heartfelt satisfaction.

As you stare death in the face, you begin to see the big picture. You get to see that our comfort on this Earth is not what it’s all about. It’s about a relationship with the living God. What seemed like a year in hell was really a year of God preparing my heart and placing the appropriate people into my life at the exact time that they were needed. God is never early, and He is never late. God is always right on time.

My mom was ready to go. However, I wasn’t ready to let go. Unfortunately, we allow life to get hard because we try to do it in our own strength. When we are holding on to the end of the rope is when we start searching for hope and the promises Jesus has given us. Let me tell you, don’t wait until you are at the end of your rope to start searching. He wants to give all of that to you on your good days as well. While you’re on that mountaintop, savor every moment with Him. When you store up hope, goodness, and promises on your good days is when you have something to fall back on during your bad days.

Next time disappointments or trials come knocking at your door, remember that God is sovereign and has a purpose for each of our lives. This is a broken world, but He can use all of our afflictions. All Jesus wants is a personal relationship with you. He wants to be the problem solver and burden carrier. Until we are ready to relinquish control, He will sit back and wait. Don’t wait until you are paralyzed and can’t do anything. God is ready to teach us everything we need for the season we are in. All He is asking for is an open heart and mind with the willingness to put aside our agenda and lean into Him.

We want to thank Kathy Jones for sharing this post.