I love God’s timing. The irony of me being asked to write about “Her Story, His Glory” in the month of April is not lost on me. You see, my real story began in April 2014. That’s when, after hitting rock bottom, I discovered God’s true grace and mercy.
I have shared in previous blogs that in April 2014 I had to admit the worst thing I have ever done. At least, in my eyes, it’s the worst. I had to admit to my husband, daughters, family, and friends that I was a fraud. I claimed to be a good person, but in reality I was living a lie. I had engaged in adultery. All while I was going to church and serving God. Luke 8:17 says, “For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.” When my sin was brought out into the open, I lost everything. But God…like He always does, brought grace and mercy into my life. And for the first time, I finally understood and accepted it fully.
I had accepted Christ as my Savior at the age of 13. Shortly after that I discovered Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” It became my favorite verse. I just didn’t totally believe it for me. I did my best to live a life that reflected His saving my life – I was active in my church, went to all the church retreats I could, taught Sunday school and Vacation Bible school, etc. But the enemy kept his attacks coming. Somewhere in my mind, I thought if those attacks kept coming something was wrong with me. I thought apparently I was doing something wrong, and maybe, just maybe, God only loved me sometimes. Oh the lies I believed. At some point in my life I just gave up. I fell into a life of sin. I looked for validation through social media and I believed if people “liked” a post, or I had tons of “friends,” then I was really valuable. Again, oh the lies I believed. But God…
After I told Don what I had done, he was devastated. He packed my bags and took me to my mother. He! Was! Done! Our daughters came home to be with Don. Our youngest daughter came to my mother’s to share her anger, grief, loss, and did I mention her anger? She rightfully blasted me. Our oldest daughter waited. She is a licensed therapist and knew she needed to process her thoughts before seeing me. That delay probably saved my life because I had decided that I didn’t deserve to live. But God….His grace and mercy showed up in a huge way. When Becky did come to see me, she brought the children’s book “Love You Forever.” At the end of the book it says, “I love you forever. I like you for always. As long as I’m living my mother you’ll be.” That began a healing process in my heart. And less than 24 hours after Don had kicked me out, he came and gathered up my stuff and brought me home. God had given him a heart of forgiveness. He said he thought of me as a wounded soldier on a battlefield, and you never leave the wounded behind. As we worked on healing our marriage, we did a lot of talking. He shared how broken he was that first night and how he thought he was going to die that night. When he shared this with me I was dumbfounded. How could someone who was hurt so bad still come back for me? Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this:While we were still sinners Christ died for us.” He came back for us and continues to do that daily.
In the past 10 years, I have grown more than I ever have in my life. I have finally learned that although those attacks continue to come, I am not fighting alone. I have a Father in heaven who watches over me, a Brother in Jesus who fights with me, and a Spirit who tells me daily that I am worthy of all this love. Genesis 50:20: “You intended to harm me, But God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done.”
We want to thank Hope Warren for sharing this post.
Women's Ministry 