Ephesians 4:23 – Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Have you ever felt like the sky is falling, or the walls are closing in around you? I know I have. Some moms reading this right now are caring for a sick family member, helping a graduating senior prepare for the next chapter, managing a house that feels impossible to keep up with, chasing little ones around, and staring at a never-ending to-do list.
So, how do we, as women who juggle so many responsibilities and wear so many hats, continue to walk in the fruit of the Spirit, especially kindness?
Kindness comes from Jesus. He, too, was constantly being pulled in every direction, yet He still chose compassion, patience, and love for others.
Think about the story where the friends lowered the paralyzed man through the roof just to get him to Jesus. We often focus on the loyalty and determination of the friends and say, “Wow, that is true friendship.” And it is. But sometimes we miss another important part of the story – Jesus.
Even in the middle of crowds, demands, and people needing something from Him at every moment, Jesus stopped. He noticed the man, responded with kindness, and met his need. That is what kindness rooted in Christ looks like: making room for people even when life feels overwhelming.
I have often thought about what it must have been like to be in Jesus’ position, surrounded by people needing something different from Him all at once. He was fully human, and surely there were moments when He felt overwhelmed. Yet He continued to respond with patience and kindness.
If you are a teacher, coach, administrator, banker, business owner, or simply someone known for getting things done, you understand what it feels like to have more and more added to your plate. Jesus healed bodies, minds, and spirits. Imagine how many directions He was pulled each day. Yet, when you read the New Testament, you also see that Jesus intentionally rested. He even told His disciples to rest. God created a rhythm for us: work for six days and rest on the seventh.
Rest is often where kindness begins. When we are overwhelmed, exhausted, and running without pause, kindness becomes much harder to give away.
If you know me at all, you know I stay busy. I love seeing growth around me and growth within me. I believe a growing person is a fulfilled person, and I never want to stop learning. That mindset is part of why I chose to go back to college for a master’s degree in counseling during one of the busiest seasons of my life. Many times, I have asked the Lord, “Why now?” But over and over, I am reminded that this season requires me to lean on Him more deeply for strength and rest. He has never left my side through it all.
I can always tell when I have not rested enough because I become short and impatient, usually with the people closest to me. In those moments, I have learned that I need one of four things: rest, food, time with Jesus, or time with people who refill my cup. It is difficult to choose kindness when you are neglecting your own well-being.
Self-reflection also requires another fruit of the Spirit: self-control. Kindness in our actions, words, and responses requires a filter. I love teaching students about what I call the “brain filter.” We have thousands of thoughts every day, but not every thought should become a spoken word.
When I taught younger students who struggled with blurting things out, I would place a coffee filter on their desks and have them touch it before speaking. It was a simple but powerful reminder to pause, think, and filter before responding. That small habit trained them to slow down and choose their words more carefully. As adults, we sometimes forget how important that filter still is. Our words matter, and the way we present them matters too.
How many of us stand in front of the mirror replaying conversations, preparing arguments, or imagining conflict that has not even happened yet? That habit does not produce kindness. I remember when the Lord convicted me about this very thing. I would attend meetings, social gatherings, or service events, longing for deeper friendships, but internally, I was constantly replaying conversations or assuming how people felt about me.
One day, in the middle of all that mental noise, the Lord stopped me and reminded me: When you stop making assumptions about what might happen and simply become the kind of person I created you to be, without fear, you will find what you are looking for.
That changed me. It was not instant, but every time I felt anxious or tempted to rehearse conversations in my head, I would stop and pray. I would ask the Lord to show me truth instead of assumptions. That practice brought freedom and kindness toward myself, which then allowed me to extend kindness to others more naturally.
Learning these rhythms—resting, filtering my words, praying instead of assuming, and leaning on Jesus—has helped me stay kind under pressure. Not perfectly, but intentionally. And maybe that is the goal: not perfection, but a heart that continually returns to Christ, the true source of kindness.
We would like to thank Janeé Harrison for sharing this post.
Women's Ministry 