“For we too were once foolish, disobedient, deceived, enslaved by various passions and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, detesting one another. But when the kindness of God our Savior and his love for mankind appeared, he saved us — not by works of righteousness that we had done, but according to his mercy — through the washing of regeneration and renewal by the Holy Spirit.” — Titus 3:3-5 CSB
You’ve probably heard the saying “happy wife, happy life.” Maybe you’ve even used it as a gentle reminder to your husband to pay attention to your wants and needs. I know those words have left my mouth a time or two. But honestly? There’s a flip side to that phrase that can feel a little unfair. As the wife, the mom, the heartbeat of the home, your attitude and demeanor has a way of setting the emotional temperature for everyone under your roof. When I’m struggling to keep a good attitude, more often than not, my husband and kids follow suit.
So, on those hard days, when everything is going wrong, and you just can’t pull yourself together, what’s a girl to do?
Let me tell you.
When I started praying about this topic, I asked the Lord to bring to mind past moments where kindness clearly made a difference in others. But He had something more immediate in mind. He wanted to show me examples unfolding right in my own home, in real time.
This past week has been a lot. We put our house on the market, which means the constant pressure of keeping everything spotless. Our dog is very pregnant and could have puppies any day. It’s mid-May, which brings the beautiful chaos of end-of-school events, baseball, softball, and a to-do list that never seems to shrink. Work has picked up as we’re growing our team, which means training new people on top of everything else. Summer is literally starting this week, and I am not ready for my kids to be home all day. My husband has a work trip, my in-laws are out of town, and I will be the sole adult running the show as school wraps up with a bang.
I’m stressed. And being kind, especially to the people I love most, has been a real challenge.
But here are three things I’ve tried this week that have genuinely shifted my perspective.
1. Stop and breathe.
Before anything else, just pause. Calm those nerves, sister. The Lord truly cares about every detail of your life, every stressor on your plate. Take a moment to find even the smallest win and give thanks for it. That simple act can break the spiral before it starts.
2. Turn your frustration into prayer.
This week, I found myself in that familiar cycle, frustration with my husband building into full-blown irritation. But instead of letting those thoughts run wild, I stopped and took them captive. I started praying for him. Thanking God for his hard work and dedication. Asking the Lord to guard his mind and heart. And something shifted. The bitterness softened. My heart moved from anger to compassion, to a real understanding of the weight he’s been carrying. That one choice to respond with kindness, even just internally, transformed me.
3. Choose kind words and a softened tone.
Nothing raises the temperature in a home quite like an angry mom. If you need a moment before you open your mouth, take it. Step away, breathe, reset. The words you choose and the tone you carry them in matter more than you know.
Here’s what I keep coming back to: the passage in Titus doesn’t say God was patient with us until we got our act together. It says He showed us kindness, and that kindness is what changed everything. We were foolish, disobedient, enslaved, and He met us there with mercy and love. Not because we earned it, but because that is who He is.
Kindness isn’t passive. It’s a choice, often a hard one, made in the middle of a messy, stressful, imperfect life. But when we extend it, to our husbands, our kids, ourselves, something transforms. Sometimes it’s the room. Sometimes it’s a relationship. And sometimes, it’s your own heart.
So today, wherever you are and whatever kind of week you’re having, choose kindness. You might be surprised what it changes.
We would like to thank Megan Hollis for writing this post.
Women's Ministry 