Diamonds
Diamonds, precious stones full of brilliance and luster, refract light in an alluring way that draws people to their enrapturing beauty. Yet these fascinating gems do not begin as ornate stones set in jewelry or useful, industrial blades. Carbon endures intense heat and pressure before crystalizing; even in this state, rough diamonds blast from the depths of the earth and then endure much refining and precision planning before being cut into beautiful or useful products.
When asked which path I have walked concerning the topic of peace in the pain, the answer was: too many. I’ve walked countless paths that involved heart-rending pain and spirit-crushing pressure, yet those moments did not result in decimation; rather, in refinement and multifaceted depth. Certainly, this side of Heaven will involve more cleaving and shaping and faceting and polishing. And, while in my humanity, I do not eagerly anticipate those moments, I can walk in faith and confidence and hope.
Pains
I have never been persecuted as a Christian, yet pain has been a part of life. I have walked through loss – young and old, expected and startling, peaceful and violent. I have walked through seasons when faith was quick and easy in spite of uncertainty. I have wrestled through questioning my identity as a daughter of the King of kings, questioning my faith, questioning my calling, my very ability to hear God. I have struggled to ask for help even when others offered it with grace and generosity. I have felt the sting of betrayal and wanted to fight back or to quit altogether. At times, physical pain has plagued my ability to live life. But keep reading to the end!
When pain happens, it’s human to be troubled, but it’s not sinful. In John 11, Jesus was troubled when Lazarus died and Mary was weeping. Yet, in verse 40, Jesus talks about seeing the glory of God, and in verse 44, Lazarus, “the dead man, came out.” Again, in John 12:27, Jesus is troubled when telling of His own death. Yet, Jesus does not ask to be saved from the hour of his death; rather, He says, “Father, glorify your name!” Again, in John 13, Jesus is troubled over Judas’s betrayal and his own imminent death. Yet, Jesus washed Judas’ feet and told the other disciples after Judas left, “Now is the Son of Man glorified and God is glorified in Him” (31). Jesus knew loss and betrayal and persecution and sacrifice. Troubling moments in Jesus’ walk are flipped on their heads by His submission to the Father and the renewing of His mind.
Each time the word “troubled” is used in these passages, it is the Greek word “tar-as’-so; of uncertain affinity; to stir or agitate (roil water):—trouble.” I looked up “roil” and it involves turbulent water that stirs up the sediments, muddying the water “by bringing up bottom sediment.” This process reminds me of the diamonds being thrust from the depths of earth and brought to the surface for refinement and beauty and useful purpose. Roiling turbulence and kimberlite volcanic eruptions bring what is buried to the surface.
This yields the question, “What’s buried?” In the sediment? How about, “In my heart?” No matter my painful moments, God’s word, hidden in my heart in previous days, roiled to the surface yielding beauty rather than sludge.
Peace
One verse that has pervaded my life and has been a major factor aligning my will with God’s will, is John 14:27. This word shaped my views through many pressures and painful situations. Jesus says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” In context, Jesus refers to the Holy Spirit who indwells us and empowers us. No matter the trials and tribulations of this life, Christians, disciples, followers of Jesus Christ, have the Holy Spirit who guides, directs, and intercedes for us. His presence in my life encourages, equips, and leads me in the path of peace even when the world cannot comprehend the stillness inside. Though the world may rage around me, the turmoil exists there and not inside my heart and soul. Because of the Holy Spirit in our lives, we, like Jesus, can live counter to the world’s logic by walking in peace. The world says turmoil is cloudy and blind, but peace roils up and uncovers the beauty of truth when God’s word is hidden in our hearts.
I would be remiss to dive into the word for “turmoil” and leave out the Greek for “peace.” The name Irene comes from this word. It means tranquility, harmony, security, the Messiah’s peace that leads to salvation. It has the connotation of being restored or set in order, like a broken bone mending even stronger than prior to a break. Breaking may happen, but mending will, too, when we call on the great Physician, God our Healer. Healing may not always appear as earthly eyes would will it, but, like Jesus, we can cry out, “Father, glorify your name!”
We would like to thank Mary Coleman for writing this blog.
