Forgiveness – Women's Ministry

Editor’s note: During 2022, we are focusing on the scriptures found in 2 Peter 1:3-11. These verses teach us about God’s divine nature. We pray that as we reflect on God’s nature, you will see all that He has created you to be! For the month of April, we are focusing on God’s characteristic of FORGIVENESS.

There are some things that happen throughout our lives that are beyond understandable. What right does a grown adult have to abuse this little girl of 5 years young with such a vile sexual act that destroyed my innocence to a point of hiding it away in a deep, dark hole for no one to ever find?

Did I ever forget what happened? Of course not. This deep, dark secret reared its ugly head throughout my growing up years into my young married life, and into my life as a divorcee with 3 young children.

I was saved when I was 11 years old at an area-wide crusade in Lockney, Texas with Dr. Wilfred Moore from First Baptist Church in Amarillo, Texas officiating. I can still hear his welcoming voice inviting those who needed Jesus to come forward…so I did. I couldn’t wait to tell my Mom and Pastor what had happened. I joined the church and was baptized that following Sunday. Not even then did I dare tell anyone of my deep, dark secret. I had just accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. All is Good!! Jesus loves me and I am on my way to Heaven!

I did remarry, my wonderful husband of 46 years, Tim. Between the 2 of us, we had five awesome kids, great friends and family, and a successful business. The most important thing we did NOT have was a place to worship our Heavenly Father or a church family. I knew in my heart that our priorities for our family were in dire need of Jesus in our lives. Through some difficult times in our marriage, we came to our senses and made the best decision for us by “Getting Back to God.” One afternoon a dear person in my life came to me with a devastating story of being abused as a child. Up popped my deep, dark secret that I had kept hidden for almost 30 years. The next Sunday at church I went racing to the altar not knowing if I needed forgiveness or if I needed to be forgiven. You see, the Holy Spirit prompted me for years to settle the matter. Even though I hated what happened to me, I didn’t want to see “him” go to hell for what he did to me. At times I had even prayed for him but never thought about forgiving him.

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

I knew I had to forgive this person but there was one problem, he had already passed on, but the need for me was still there. One morning as I was getting ready to leave the house, I saw Charles Stanley on the television talking about forgiving someone who is no longer here. I was captivated by his words. I listened intently and followed his instructions. I sat down across from an empty chair and forgave. God is so good, and it was that simple.

Colossians: 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

There is a beautiful song that describes the Love of Jesus and how he wants to abide in us and us in Him. I hope you relate to these words. I certainly did and do.

THE SECRET PLACE

My heart is like a house

One day I let the Savior in

There are many rooms

Where we would visit now and then

But then one day He saw that door

I knew the day had come too soon

I said, “Jesus, I’m not ready

For us to visit in that room

‘Cuz that’s a place in my heart

Where even I don’t go

I have some things hidden there

I don’t want no one to know”

But He handed me the key

With tears of love on His face

He said, “I want to make you clean

Let me go in your secret place.”

So I opened up the door

And as the two of us walked in

I was so ashamed

His light revealed my hidden sin

But when I think about that room now

I’m not afraid anymore

‘Cuz I know my hidden sin

No longer hides behind that door

That was a place in my heart

Where even I wouldn’t go

I had some things hidden there

I didn’t want no one to know

But He handed me the key

With tears of love on His face

And He made me clean

I let Him in my secret place

Is there a place in your heart

Where even you won’t go?

You have some things hidden there,

You don’t want no one to know.

Well, He’s handing you the key

With tears of love on his face.

He wants to make your free,

Let Him go in your secret place.

I read recently that there are 3 aspects of forgiveness. We are either granting forgiveness, receiving forgiveness, or seeking forgiveness. I’ve learned that Jesus is available to see us through all 3.

Ephesians: 4:31-32 “Lay aside bitter words, temper tantrums, revenge, profanity, and insults. But instead, be kind and affectionate toward one another. Has God graciously forgiven you? Then graciously forgive one another in the depths of Christ’s love.”

Sometimes I find myself asking Jesus, “Why me, Lord?” Then right after that thought comes His answer, “Love!” He let himself briefly become one of us to break the curse of sin and death forever. Even better, He allows access to this freedom by grace through faith. I believe He has forgiven me. In Luke 23:24 Jesus spoke these words from the cross, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing.” That’s Pure Love.

I’m so glad I let Him in my Secret Place!!

We would like to thank Sue Johnson for writing this post.

Forgiveness. Does that word stir up anything in you when you hear it?

Anytime you mention forgiveness, your mind can immediately recall an offense that you’ve suffered.

So, what emotions follow the thoughts of forgiveness? Is it joy at the thought of a relationship restored?

Do you find yourself feeling a little sorrowful because a damaged relationship couldn’t be salvaged or restored? Does anger come rushing in and take you down a dark trail all the way back to the offense where you find yourself reliving and feeling the pain of the offense all over again?

We’ve all been hurt and abused in some fashion. These offenses, left to fester, can make us bitter, angry, and resentful. We’re robbed of our joy and peace, and eventually we can be physically affected!

So, how do we truly forgive? There are many scriptures in the Bible that address this issue. Let’s take a look at a story that you’ve read many times, and even felt some unforgiveness toward some of those in the story. It’s one of my favorite stories, because it shows the love and tenderness our Savior has toward and for us.

John 8:1-11- This is the story of the woman who was caught in adultery and brought out into public by the religious leaders. She’d been shamed, humiliated, and threatened with stoning. Now, their purpose was to trap Jesus, but it all backfired on them. In gentleness and love Jesus told each person that if they were without sin, to stone the women. They all ended up walking away. Wait for it… the one part of the story that I had never seen before, until I was faced with having to forgive, was that Jesus stayed with the woman. He asked her where her accusers were, she responded, “there are none”, and the One person who could’ve judged her, condemned her, and stoned her, forgave her! He said, “Neither do I, now go, and sin no more”! Jesus could’ve also embarrassed and humiliated the religious leaders by calling them by name and pointing out their faults instead of simply writing in the dirt, but He didn’t.

Jesus taught all who were there a valuable lesson that day, we ALL fall short, but there is forgiveness and love if we just choose to surrender.

You see Jesus addressed her sin, without condemnation, but He forgave her, and sent her on her way as if she’d never done anything wrong. That’s when I learned the true meaning of forgiveness. No, we don’t forget, only God can do that, but He has given us the ability to choose to give up our rights to hang on to offenses, and to treat others as if they’ve never done anything to us.

Luke 23:34 is another wonderful example. While on the cross, as Jesus was being crucified for our sins, He prayed and asked the Father, “ forgive them, they don’t know what they’re doing”! Those are the sweetest words I’ve ever read. If Jesus, dying on a cross for sins I committed, can treat me as if I’d never done anything wrong, how can I hold unforgiveness in my heart?

It takes a strong relationship with Christ, and much prayer, and surrender to walk this out.

Allow God to help you set healthy boundaries for yourself while you continue to walk in the love of Christ toward others.

I lived a life of physical, verbal, and sexual abuse from my biological father and my stepfather.

My mother, too scared to know how to protect me, allowed it all. I was sent away to a children’s home to protect the reputation of my stepfather. My marriage suffered offenses that took a few years to work through, but by God’s grace we are stronger than we’ve ever been! I’ve been deeply hurt and betrayed by close friends. I’ve had to learn to let things go and surrender to Jesus so that I can be free to live in His grace and mercy, and to genuinely love others as He does. This is how those in our circle of influence are going to experience and see Jesus and be drawn to a relationship with Him. If we’re going to make disciples, we must follow the example that was set before us.

We would like to thank Janie Keller for writing this blog post.

Tag: Forgiveness

My Secret Place

Forgive like Jesus