My Life in His Hands

“You saw me before I was born.  Every day of my life was recorded in Your book.  Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”  Psalm 139:16

Have you ever thought about how your life has fallen into place, or how it would have been so different with the change of just one decision or another?  I have thought a lot about that over the years.  As an adopted child often does, I had wondered often about my birth parents, what they were like, what the circumstances were behind my adoption, and things like that.  I wasn’t unhappy or mistreated in my adopted family – I just wondered… but by adoptive mother never wanted to discuss it, which only added to my curiosity.

When I had my own children, and the internet came along, I began to go into some of the sites where people were searching for their birth families.  I had very little information to share, so I did what I could, and then forgot about it.  One day at work, I got a phone call from a lady who worked in Austin, who said she had seen my request come across one of the websites.  She said she was unable to give me any specific information, but that my birth mother had already passed away, she had 3 other children who lived in Texas, and I should not smoke, since my maternal grandfather had had lung cancer.

I figured that would be the end of what I would ever know, so I closed the book on that area of my life in my mind.

A couple of years later, I got an email from someone who said that if I gave her my birth certificate number, she felt she could get me information about my birth mother.  I did so, and later, she sent me the name of my birth mother’s sister, along with her address.

I wrote the lady a letter, explaining what I could, and I said that if she didn’t want to talk about this, I understood.  I included my phone number, and she called back!  We talked for a long time, and then she sent me a letter and pictures of my birth mom and the man she thought was my birth father.  The story behind my birth family was very different than the house I grew up in.  Two of my birth brothers had been in prison for drugs or alcohol, and my younger birth sister had lost her children because of her own drug abuse.  My birth mom had been in an abusive relationship, and she had given up 2 or 3 other children for adoption, besides keeping the three she raised. 

What struck me was how my life would have been so very different had my birth mom opted to keep me.  The world I grew up in was safe, predictable, and loving.  My birth family seemed to have had many trials.  It just amazes me to think about that, and I ask, “Why did God choose for me to grow up in a different environment?”  Maybe He knew I couldn’t have survived.  All I know is – He has a plan.

Think about your own life.  Think about all the decisions we make, both big and small:  who we will marry, when to have children, where to live, what job to take.  Even the little decisions we make every day about where we will go and what we will do during our day impacts so many other people!  It boggles my mind! 

Of all the decisions, one we absolutely must make is to place our lives in His hands – no matter if our past decisions have been good or bad, or if we have had our lives determined by circumstances out of our control, “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.”  (Romans 8:28).  We all have a story that will bring Him glory if we give it to Him.

We want to thank Sheri Warren for sharing this post.