You Want Me to What?

Featured

Editor’s Note: This semester we’ve asked women from our campuses to read Titus 2 and share what God puts on their heart. We pray this encourages you to read God’s Word and apply it to this season of your life.

We’ve all heard of the Proverbs 31 woman, but what does it look like to be a Titus 2 woman?  After reading and reflecting on Titus 2 I began to wonder which category I fall in. Am I one of the older women that God is calling to train the younger women or am I one of the younger women that still needs guidance?  To be honest, I think I’m a little bit of both.

My husband and I recently celebrated 11 years of marriage. We married very young at the age of 19. I think it’s safe to say that a good percentage of young brides get caught up in the big day and the actual act of marriage ends up falling short of their expectations. Over the last 11 years, there have been “words of wisdom” on being a loving, godly wife that I have passed on to younger women that I feel like God wants me to share.

  1. Do not try to change your husband, period. Love your husband for exactly who God created him to be. If you attempt to change your husband, you will rob him of joyfully fulfilling the purpose that God has for his life. Sometimes as wives, we tend to fall into the trap of nagging our husbands about the things that we wish they would change. Proverbs 21:19 states, “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.”  Ladies, let’s do our husbands a favor and love them for exactly who God created them to be.
  2. Invest in love languages! The best way to love your husband is to invest time and resources into figuring out his love language. My husband’s love language is quality time. By quality time, I’m not referring to long walks down the aisles of Hobby Lobby. I mean going hog hunting with him or walking long dirt roads searching for arrow heads. Although these may not be my favorite things to do, I love doing them with my husband because I’m investing in our marriage and doing something he loves to do.
  3. Pray for your husband.When I have a hard time submitting to my husband’s authority, it’s usually because his ideas don’t align with mine. So what do I do?  I pray for my husband. I pray that God will align our thinking and our hearts and help me to be submissive to my husband’s authority with a cheerful heart.
  4. Enjoy the little things and don’t take life too seriouslyMany times, as young wives and mothers, we’re so consumed with the opinions of others that we allow those opinions to captivate our every thought. Enjoy your husband, enjoy your kids. Don’t take a single moment for granted, simple as that!

Young wives and mothers, take heart. Seek out life giving relationships with women who can pour wise counsel into your life. Older women, rise up and be good examples through your actions of who God calls us to be in our homes.

Cassie Mogg contributed this post this week. She and her family attend the Plainview campus.

Slacken

Featured

Editor’s note: This semester we’ve asked different women from our three campuses to share something God showed them through the scriptures of Titus 2. We believe God’s Word has the power to impact our lives no matter our circumstance or season. May you be encouraged and empowered to respond to God’s voice as you read through the wisdom these women are sharing with each of us.

Busyness is such a norm in our lives. Everywhere we look, people are frantically trying to balance their professional lives, personal lives, health, finances, etc. Do you ever feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day?  If I’m being honest, I have felt that way frequently. What would our lives look like if we valued the importance of pursuing God’s presence first and let everything else fall into place? Recently, I felt the Lord speak specifically to this in my own life through one word:

Slacken

Let me explain….

What does it mean to “be still and know that He is God” (Ps. 46:10)? Rarely do we make it to the “be still” part to find out! We go until we can’t go anymore and then collapse and call that being still before Him…but really, we just fell over in exhaustion. Stillness is intentional and purposeful. A holy (set apart) moment where you stop and say THIS is of value and worthy of my time. My favorite illustration of this came from a recent conference. The speaker compared our lives to a rubber band and demonstrated that we pull and pull until life snaps us down, stretched thin and exhausted. We are actually meant to gradually release the tension and quiet our hearts before the Lord like a rubber band that is eased until it completely slackens.

Slacken:  Slow down, ease up, to make something less tight.

Slacken almost sounds like a bad word, as if it represents laziness, but actually it only occurs in intentionality.

Quiet yourself before the Lord. Let Him speak to your heart and establish you in His loving kindness. Let your soul be watered by Holy Spirit drawing you ever nearer. He’s speaking to you, even now!

“Beloved, I’m still here. I’m reminding you of your name and true nature. Dear one, you are safe in my arms.” 

Let your roots go deep in His faithfulness and your life will flow out of this established heart. From this place, you are empowered to correct those under your leadership without shaming them because you no longer believe that their imperfections undermine your value as a leader. You can forgive yourself and others because you realize Jesus died so you could make mistakes without the mistakes making you. You can honor people when they speak hurtful things which demean your character, because you recognize that God is your defender and you’ve spoken wrongfully before, too. Your health is a natural priority because you understand your worth and that real comfort only comes from Him, not an emotional satisfaction from one more piece of chocolate. You can trust Him to provide even if your bank account disagrees, because He is the provider who has abundant resources for your needs AND your dreams.

You are free to love well. The love poured so generously over your life can’t help but overflow onto others. He is always speaking; we need only slow down to listen. Slacken. Make time. Let’s worry less about “doing enough” and allow ourselves to just BE with Him. He is worthy, and He never disappoints.

Shonda McCay contributed this post. To learn more about her, please follow this link.

Marriage & Martyrdom

Featured

Tags

, ,

Editor’s Note: This semester we’re focusing on Titus 2 and all the different ways it can impact our life in this season of life. Our prayer is that you are encouraged by these posts to see what God would have you apply to your life.

My husband and I joined a marriage Life Group this semester, and we’re going through the Love & Respect curriculum by Emerson Eggerichs. I’m loving it.

Recently, I saw something I don’t think I remember hearing before. The Bible is anything but silent about how husbands and wives show love and respect to each other, but here’s the deal. Eggerichs said husbands are to apape (self-sacrificial love) their wives (Ephesians 5:29) and wives are to phileo (companion-type love) their husbands (Titus 2:8).

When I heard this, I felt like the Spirit of God told me, “I’ve never asked you to be a martyr for your husband. And when you operate from that place, it isn’t godly.” I knew exactly what He meant. It’s the I-Have-to-Do-EVERYTHING-Around-Here-and-No-One-Cares attitude. And it implies that my husband is killing me.

Many times, we as women have no problem sacrificing for our husbands. We cook for them. We clean for them. But we resent them, and believe me, they know it. They see the activity and busyness, but they’re pretty sure we don’t like them.

So what do I do?

When I operate from a martyr mentality, it should be a red flag. I need to speak up and ask for the help I need, because God didn’t call me to lay my life down for my husband the same way He called my husband to do so for me. Usually the help I need is not for my husband to do ALL the chores around the house. I mostly desire his closeness and appreciation for who I am.

He can’t read my mind. I may have to use my words and tell him that my heart hurts. You know what? Every time I’ve told him how I’m really feeling, he’s listened and loved me in a way I can receive it. How can I not respect and fall in love with this man all over again when he goes to war for my heart’s freedom?

In return, I’m called to be his friend. John Eldredge  hit the nail on the head for me in his  2-minute blog Ransomed Heart as he fleshed out what it means to be my husband’s help meet, to phileo (not fillet) my husband.

Trust me. DO NOT miss this.

When I get God’s heart for my role as wife, so much falls into place in my marriage. He’s not calling me to be the loser. Did you know there doesn’t even have to be a loser in my marriage? But when I get out of whack here, I experience major bouts of frustration, anger, and bitterness.

Ask God to reveal His heart to you. He will show you how to take the first step out of martyrdom and into freedom.

Jodi LaFrance wrote this post. To learn more about her, please follow this link.

The Table Experience

Featured

Editor’s Note: This semester we’re focusing on Titus 2 and the wisdom it offers us as women in all different seasons of our lives. It’s our prayer that as you read through these posts you’ll hear each writer’s heart as they’ve spent time connecting with God over this passage of Scripture.

How many of you grew up in a home where you sat at the dinner table as a family? This is one of my favorite memories as a child. I remember the food mom would make, the enjoyment I had antagonizing my sister (sorry Allison), and the conversations we would have.

eloisebellmarch-01The table experience growing up shaped how I view the dinner table today. One dinner, in particular, comes to mind. I had made some delicious potato soup a few days earlier (key words: “a few days earlier”). Miley was three at the time and took a bite of the left-over soup, and said, “This is the wuhst dinnuh evah!” (a.k.a. worst dinner ever: she couldn’t say her R’s). Offended, I told her to leave the table and go think about how ungrateful she was acting. I then proceeded with the “go-to speech” of how there are starving children all over the world who would LOVE this left-over soup. She came back to the table and I told her, “Miley, you have two choices. You can either finish your dinner and be grateful for it, or you can be done.” Miley looked at me, and in her sweet, innocent voice she replied, “I’ll be done,” (laughing out loud).

Miles and I are intentional about eating together as a family as much as possible. One of our favorite things to do is cooking dinner together.

Scripture is filled with illustrations of lives changed when eating around a table.

Unfortunately, the typical family no longer eats meals together at the table. The table has been replaced with fast food. The ugly truth is mealtime is no longer an opportunity for families to build relationships.

Why is eating at the table so important? Scripture is filled with illustrations of lives changed when eating around a table. In 2 Samuel 9:7, Jonathan’s crippled son Mephibosheth was invited to dine at King David’s table. It was there that Mephibosheth’s rejection and unworthy past was replaced with confidence and personal value. In Luke 15:23, the father’s decision to have a celebration feast gave his wayward son hope for a new future. In Matthew 26, Jesus and the Twelve sat down at the table to share in the Passover meal. After His resurrection (Luke 24), Jesus broke bread with two followers and gave thanks. Suddenly, their eyes were opened and they recognized Him. At both meals, Jesus demonstrated the frame of mind that we should have at the table. Remember Him and the price He paid for you as you break bread together in your homes.

There are many things you can experience around the table: love is shared, bodies are nourished, actual face-to-face conversations happen, family members serve each other, daily schedules are discussed, and the list goes on!  Most importantly, a lovingly prepared table is a place where the presence of God dwells and relationships are established. God designed the table for you and your family to share life with each other. So, I encourage you to put dinner together back on the calendar.

Eloise Bell from our Amarillo campus wrote this post. To learn more about her, please follow this link.

The Inspired Mom Class

Editor’s note: This semester we’re focusing on Titus 2 as it relates to many areas of our lives as women. We hope you find real hope and encouragement as you read through these stories of God’s revelation to women all across our campuses.

I recently stopped by the home of a dear out-of-town friend of mine. This was my first time being in her lovely home. Her husband and four children were home and I couldn’t help but be inspired in the short time I was there. Her children were full of life and joy and couldn’t wait to share their treasures with me.

Titus 2:3-5 says this… 

Teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. 4These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.”

 Have any of you ever wondered where this class is being offered? I have! Where IS this class and PLEASE sign me up! Everything mentioned in these verses are things I struggle with daily and if I could just find me one of these older women, I’m sure they would help me figure out how to be a woman. 😉

But here is what I discovered in the home of my sweet friend: Living life with other women is the class. She’s not much older than me, but she is further along in motherhood than I am. In 30 minutes, God used her to teach me how to love and connect with my children in a way I hadn’t thought about. It really was as simple as that.  I’ve been thinking and praying for months about how to connect with my three-year-old boys’ hearts and involve them in the daily chores. In the short time I spent visiting and sharing time with my friend, God answered those prayers with three very practical ways to love and train my children.

Are you wondering how to find an older woman to learn from? One of the easiest ways for older and younger women to connect in our church is through Life Groups. I can’t tell you how many opportunities I’ve had to learn AND teach in my group. Being a part of a Life Group is a very simple way to put Titus 2 to practice in your life.

I would like to leave you with this quote from one of my favorite older women, Elizabeth Elliott.

It is doubtful that the apostle Paul had in mind Bible classes or seminars or books when he spoke of teaching younger women. He meant the simple things, the everyday example, the willingness to take time from one’s own concerns to pray with the anxious mother, to walk with her the way of the Cross with its tremendous demands of patience, selflessness, lovingkindness—and to show her, in the ordinariness of Monday through Saturday, how to keep a quiet heart.

Amber Curry wrote this post. To learn more about her, please follow this link.

Heart of a Mother

Featured

The heart of a mother is one that, for some, is hard to explain and even talk about.  When I think of how to explain those words, I immediately get a picture of my own mom.  Growing up I felt very safe and secure. Both parents were and still are strong Christians. My brothers and I were loved and disciplined in a Biblical way and really never questioned our upbringing. It was good. My mother kept the home fires burning.  She did mom things: cooking, cleaning, carpooling, attending sports events, and church functions. She was a fantastic model for me. It wasn’t until I faced challenges of trying to become a mother myself that I began to realize there was more to a mother’s heart than meets the eye.

 

At the tender age of 38 I thought I was ready to attempt this “mom” thing. Little did I know that the road it would take me down would be one of great heartache. My journey to motherhood began with a miscarriage. A few months later, I gave birth to  a little girl only to be with her for an hour before she took an early flight from this earth and said goodbye. Later I carried a child for only 28 weeks and had to say goodbye yet again. Definitely not the journey I had pictured. My faith was challenged, but it kept me from spiraling into despair, and yet my heart still had to grieve the loss.  God never left; He just had a divine calling on my life called adoption. On June 14, 2006, a 7-pound, 14-ounce big blue-eyed little girl was laid in my arms! What else could I say, but, “WOW!” The heart of a mother began to swell within me.

koricovington

 

That little girl is now 11 years old.  Time flies! As I examine my road as a mother, I have begun to understand what was going on behind the scenes of things my mother would do. It’s all beginning to make sense. I’m blown away by how the heart of a mother reflects, in many ways, the heart of God.  We read about His heart for us in His word.  He instructs us how to live, then commands us to instruct our children. He protects us and in the same way, instills in us the heart-felt need to protect our “littles”. Psalm 18 is a beautiful picture of how He fights for us. So we also are not afraid to fight on behalf of those in our care.

 

My mom-heart gets foggy at times on what’s a true reflection of His heart. Actions that seem unimportant to me speak volumes of love to my child: a dorky valentine card, conversational candy hearts, a miniature box of chocolates, things that are no big deal to me are huge love actions in my house right now. These are opportunities to reflect His love in ways that my child can understand.

 

I love that the mom-heart He placed in each of us reflects His heart. What else can we say but “WOW!”

Kori Covington wrote this post. To learn more about her, please follow this link.

Seen & Heard

This week we asked Kendra Huckabee of the Lubbock Campus to share a little bit of how she loves her family well during the Valentine’s Day holiday.

This past weekend we took a day trip to Clovis, NM, of all places, to take our boys to a traveling dinosaur event called Jurassic Quest. Think robotic dinosaur museum (or circus…whichever you prefer). Throughout the entire planning process, buying the overpriced tickets, and honestly, even on the drive there I kept thinking:

“Why in the world are we doing this?”
“This better be worth it!”
“The things we do for our kids…”.
But seeing my 3 ½-year-old dinosaur fanatic’s face light up at every turn immediately made me glad that we chose to take the time to do something he loves. Loving my family is one of the most important jobs I have. Although it has taken me some time, learning to show love to each member of my family in a way that speaks to them individually and makes them feel seen and known is the best way to do it.
John 13:34 says, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”
Jesus gave us the perfect example of how to love people. It’s so cool to me how when Jesus healed people, had an encounter with someone, or spoke into someone’s life it was different every time. He didn’t have a “How to Love People” checklist that he followed. He simply knew them and loved them in a way that was specifically meant for them.

kendrahuckabeefeb

He doesn’t care the cost, time, or distance it takes to show his love towards us.
I would have much rather stayed home this weekend in my pajamas drinking endless cups of coffee than standing in the cold watching my son move dirt around with a paintbrush to uncover a “fossil”, but I would have robbed myself of a chance to show love and my son of a chance to receive it.
I’m so thankful that I chose to move my SELF out of the way this weekend so that we could shower our son with love in a way that spoke to his little dino-loving heart.
When it comes to Valentine’s Day, chocolate and teddy bears have never really been my thing, but loving my people is! My goal this Valentines, and every day, is to take the opportunity to speak my family’s love language. I pray that you, too, will take the time to love your family in ways that make them feel seen and known. Whether it’s something simple like their favorite candy, or a random trip to another state to see robotic dinosaurs, learn what and how they love and show them love in that way.

Some things that have helped me learn how to love my family:

The 5 Love Languages books by Gary Chapman
DISC personality test
Simply spending time with them

 

This post was written by Kendra Huckabee from our Lubbock Campus. To learn more about her, follow this link.

Boiling Over

Titus 2:11-14 says that the grace of God has appeared in Jesus to redeem us to be a people for His own special possession who are zealous for good deeds.

Zealous for good deeds.

Ugh.

My tendency is to feel guilt thinking about what “good deeds” I need to be doing that I haven’t already done. But, I’m a Bible word study nerd and, as I was digging into this passage, I found freedom. First, here was a definition of grace that I’d never seen before. It’s used in this context because we are defined as His prized treasure, chosen by Him. Grace is God leaning toward us because He is disposed to bless us. And what does His leaning toward us do? Makes us zealous for good deeds. Here’s another cool/Bible-nerdy definition that I found: zealous means to boil over with passion. In other words, when we trust in Jesus, we get God leaning toward us, blessing us which causes us to boil over with passion to do good things.

In a class I took recently, my instructor asked me to recall an experience from my childhood where time melted away. I remembered being at my great aunt’s house (We called her Auntie) one Sunday evening when I was eight years old. The grownups were all in the family room watching Columbo or some other 70’s drama and I, having no interest in said drama, had forgotten to bring a book to read. Auntie was an avid reader and, sympathetic to my plight, offered me a choice from her vast library: To Kill a Mockingbird. I gladly accepted the book and was deeply grateful to Auntie for her ability to swiftly size up my reading skills and interest level. That experience began to unlock a realization for me about Auntie: she carried a fondness for me that was magnetic. I found myself wanting to go spend time with her, write her notes of encouragement, and bring her gifts—all because of the way she seemed to know me and speak into my life with comments like, “You’ve never known a stranger” and “You’ve got the same determination your grandmother had”.

When we catch a sense of God knowing us, leaning toward us to offer His good gifts to us, we don’t have to work hard to do good things; it’s natural for us to give back in the way we were created. However, sometimes the “shoulds” in our heads trump our would-be passions (“I should serve in X ministry because they need me,” or, “I should go feed the homeless.”) and we cool off instead of finding our boiling point! So, I want to offer some questions to discover how you can “boil over with passion”:

  • What is something you do that is easy for you but seems hard to others?
  • What is something you do that you lie awake thinking about how you can do it better? That you would do for free if no one ever paid you?
  • What was the last experience you had “doing” for the Lord in which time melted away for you?

My prayer is that you sense Him leaning toward you to bless you and that you find your boiling point!

This post was written by Shelli Jarvis from our Amarillo campus. To learn more about Shelli, please follow this link.

Loving Your Husband

Titus 2:3-4 says that older women are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands.

The word love in that verse (philandros) is only used once in scripture, and is an affection shown specifically by a wife for her husband. This leads me to believe that a wife has the unique ability to show unconditional love to her husband in a way that nobody else on earth can. Wow – what a privilege!

Through living out this gift of marriage and walking with many wise women, the Lord has taught me a few very practical ways to love Kirby that have helped us cultivate a rich, life-giving marriage.

Pray for Him

Pray that the Word of God would dwell richly in your husband. Pray that he would prosper in all he does. Pray for him as you fold his laundry. Find specific passages of scripture to speak over your husband. Our prayers are powerful and life-changing.

Serve Him

In the middle of writing this, I asked Kirby to share some practical things that I do that communicate love to him. To no surprise, dinner made the list. If you know Kirby, that statement won’t surprise you either. The man can eat! But through his sort-of comical response, he reminded me that service doesn’t always have to be extravagant. It’s the everyday. He serves me in more ways than I could number, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to love him through serving him right back.

Protect and Build his Reputation

Proverbs 31:23 is a statement that, at first glance, seems a little out of place. The whole passage describes a woman that we all desire to be, and simultaneously get frustrated with because she sometimes seems out of reach. In verse 23, it states, “her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders.” I believe that his wife had a role to play in building her husband’s reputation and in his being known and respected. Ladies, we’ve been given a true privilege in being able to know our husband so intimately. Let’s use that privilege in a way that highlights his strengths, builds his reputation, and sets him up for success in life. We really do have more power in this area than we usually give ourselves credit for.

Get to Know Him

I know this one sounds redundant, considering we’re talking about the man we married. But I didn’t realize when I first married Kirby that he doesn’t express or receive love in the same ways I do AT ALL. We’re polar opposites. I feel loved most through quality time, physical touch, and acts of service. Coming into marriage, I thought that that was how to make anyone feel loved. However, I learned that Kirby feels loved the most through words of affirmation and gifts. Get to know how your husband receives love best. Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages can help get you started in discovering your spouse’s love language, as well as your own. It’s well worth the investment.

God gave us a true gift in our husbands. I pray that as women we would make the most of every opportunity to show love, honor, and respect to our men. As we do, may our homes and our marriages be blessed beyond measure.

This post was written by Catherine Dunn. To learn more about her, click here.

True Confessions of a Pastor’s Wife

 

Sometimes I don’t feel very spiritual…there, I said it. It’s true…off and on throughout our marriage, I’ve questioned whether what I’m doing is actually “advancing God’s Kingdom.”  Is it profitable, or should I do something else?

This week, June 29, Brad and I will celebrate 21 years of marriage. That number is CRAZY to me. We have served in every area imaginable at Harvest Christian Fellowship in Plainview, Texas.  I always knew I’d marry a pastor and that we would serve in a local church…but throughout the span of 21 years, I never imagined how my life would be challenged, how much I’d grow in my love for Christ and my love for others. Or that we’d find ourselves where we are today, leading and loving the most humble and giving people I’ve ever met.  And yet, in the middle of such a great life, I’ve continually found myself questioning my role.  Does what I’m doing matter?  Is it really enough for me to love Brad and serve him and our family?  Is it enough that I show up on Sundays and hug those I run into and pray for people God puts on my heart?  Too often I’ve felt like I could be doing more, and I’ve questioned whether I’m making a difference.  

God so graciously spoke His truth to my heart a few weeks ago concerning this issue. I was once again in my cycle of feeling unimportant and useless. I was reading in Malachi, and I came across the verses in 3:13-15:

‘Your words have been arrogant against Me,’ says the Lord. ‘Yet you say, “What have we spoken against You?” You have said, “It is vain to serve God; and what profit is it that we have kept His charge, and that we have walked in mourning before the Lord of hosts? So now we call the arrogant blessed; not only are the doers of wickedness built up but they also test God and escape.’

You see, after reading that I realized my words have been arrogant against God. Who am I to say my work isn’t enough, to question if what I’m doing is vain or profiting God’s Kingdom?  Brad and I, to the best of our ability, have prayed and listened to God’s direction. We’ve lived in such a way that our family is surrendered to Christ. And in this obedience life is found.  In this obedience God produces abundance.   I quickly repented for my arrogant words toward God and asked Him to renew my mind. 

I write this post not to get any accolades or reassurance to my place in the church, but to encourage you, the reader. 

I can’t help believing more people than just me have ever felt this way. I think in general women question their place and whether what they’re doing is making a difference, and what I want to say to you is yes!  Yes, it is!  When we are listening to the Holy Spirit and following His lead, what He’s asking us to do is not in vain. It is for a purpose. It’s to advance His Kingdom. 

Each diaper you change, each paper you grade, each dinner you make, each hug you give, each prayer you pray, each text of encouragement that you send, each word of affirmation you give to your husband or your child or your friend. It matters, it’s changing lives, it’s impacting this world for Christ, and it’s not in vain. 

And our service at church…wow, what an impact it’s making in our community.  Over 80% of our members serve in our church. That number is unheard of. I promise you, God sees where you’re giving, and He says it is not in vain.  

So let’s keep being women who hear the voice of God and obey His calling, and let’s stay in a place of humility where we don’t question our calling, where we agree with God’s word, that what we’re doing is making a difference. It is changing this world for Christ. We all look different; our callings and careers are different. It’s the beauty of Christ. What a gift we are to this world.  

Lovingly,

Julie

This post was written by Julie Snellgrove. To read more about her, click here.