I think that for the majority of my marriage I thought being a “good wife” was all about the daily tasks and chores I got completed: grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, ironing, sex :), dishes, bills, etc.  Then the kids started coming, and the list became even longer and more time consuming.  More laundry, more dishes, more cleaning, more cooking…you get the picture!  My worth became equivalent to the number of items I got marked off my list for the day, which some days, honestly was not a single one.  This left me feeling discouraged, worthless, and like I was not measuring up.  After all, if that Proverbs 31 chick could do all that and still rise before the sun, why couldn’t I??  It didn’t take Jonathan very long to discover something was off (it could have been the fact that he was out of clean underwear and there was not one single edible thing in the fridge.)  He approached me one day and said something very profound, as he often does… “Kristen, I can honestly hire someone to do just about every single thing on your ‘list,’ but what I can’t pay money for is a wife.”   What did that even mean??  Was he thinking of hiring a maid and a nanny?  Did he get a big bonus I was unaware of?  What is a “wife” anyway?  I thought I was magically poofed at the altar!  Proverbs 31:10 says, “An excellent wife who can find?  She is far more precious than jewels.  The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”  Proverbs 31 goes on to state all the “things” this amazing woman does!  Her list is truly endless.  For so many of us she is the role model we strive to become; she is the original “wonder woman” if you will.  And for so many of us, we feel like we are constantly missing the mark. Heck, I don’t even sew!  What we really miss is the heart behind ALL she does!  Her list seems endless, and so does ours.  Am I marking things off my list for the sake of my own personal satisfaction? What is the heart behind everything I do?  You see, we are all called as wives to a specific role in our home.  To the degree I wholeheartedly fulfill that role directly impacts my husband’s ministry!  This was huge for me!  Am I allowing my husband to reach cities or nations?  The “things” we do are a part of who we are called to be, but no one can minister to my husband’s heart the way I can!  That ministry, that HEART, starts the moment my feet hit the floor and lasts all day long.  That HEART is the first thing he feels when he walks in the door at night! That HEART is the definition of a “good wife”!

This post was written by Kristen Wright.