Beauty in the Home as an Empty Nester

Editors note: During the month of March, we are focusing on “Beauty in the Home”. Titus 2:3-5 tells us that women should encourage each other in the ways of the Lord. Focusing on bringing beauty to the home is an important part of having a peace-filled family.

This month, we’re focusing on what it means to have a beautiful home, especially in light of Titus 2:3-5 which says:

“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”

I’ve been able to find beauty in many seasons of my life, but this season of being an empty nester is beautiful in a very unique way. 

My years of being busy at home look different now than they did when my girls were still here. As parents of two girls who are grown now, we enjoyed many fun-filled and active years of cheerleading, volleyball, basketball, gymnastics, and all the fun school and social activities that our girls were involved in. I was honored to get to be a stay at home mom and to be their chauffeur to all the events they loved to do. I thrived on what the girls and all of their friends would have going on; I just enjoyed the noise of laughter in our home for years. 

But time marched on–much too quickly, I might add–and the house is now quiet with just Lanney and me (and our rotten dogs). We do have two precious grandkids that we love to have over and spend time with, but for the majority of the time, it is just us. In all honesty, becoming empty nesters was an adjustment for us both. We had tried over the years to make sure that we still took the time for each other. We didn’t want to wake up one day with our girls gone and on their own only to discover that we no longer knew each other. We are now at a time in our lives where we can go on dates once a week, even if those dates consist of running to lunch and shopping at Costco or something pretty simple. We love finding opportunities to truly enjoy each other’s company. Lanney is my safe place and my best friend. I am so thankful that we took the time to prioritize nurturing our relationship with each other, even in those crazy years of also raising our children. 

Raising kids together has been so fun, but an empty nest has its own unique joys. We can sit back and relax some and know that God has got our kids in the palm of his hand and that our job as parents is not over, it has just changed. It’s a good feeling. If I can encourage couples with young kids in any way, it would be to say to make sure you make your spouse your priority. That is hard when your kids are young and are so demanding of your time, but you will not regret having time with your spouse without the kids at least once a week, even if it’s just to grab a babysitter and go get a Coke. You might be able to find others who also have young children, and you can exchange babysitting favors for one another. Your kids will have fun playing with friends without mom and dad, and you and your friends can invest in your marriage relationships. One day those kids will grow up and have a busy life of their own, and you want to look at each other and not be strangers living together.  

As I have thought about pouring into my relationship with my husband, it has made me think of how this correlates to our relationship with Christ. As important as it is to make time for your spouse, it is even more important to make time for the Lord. We must make sure we make time for our Savior and for that relationship first and foremost. I know this can also be a challenge with young kids in your home. But find a moment–early in the morning, or after your family has gone to bed, or anytime in between–to focus on praying, spending time in the Word, and listening to what God has to tell you. You won’t regret prioritizing this relationship. We don’t want our husbands to be strangers once we’re empty nesters, but we don’t want Jesus to be a stranger when we step into eternity either. 

Marriage is fun! There are seasons of difficulty as well as seasons of joy, but God has given us our mate to experience it all with, and we are so blessed to have each other. Embrace each other and each stage of your relationship–it’s God given, and it’s beautiful. 

We would like to thank Christy Bennett for writing this post.

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