Femininity – Women's Ministry

Editor’s Note: During the month of February, we are focusing on a Call to Femininity. The world often gives women a different idea of what womanhood should look like. Looking to the Word gives us clear direction and instruction on how to be the woman God designed us to be.

What exactly is Biblical Femininity? Femininity is a word that tends to induce one of two polar opposite reactions. As I was preparing to write this, some women I spoke with only associated negative thoughts and feelings with this word, while others took great pride in it. I must admit, I
had mixed feelings when thinking about the word. The first thing that comes to my mind when I hear feminine is being a “girly girl” (which also made me think I am the last person on earth that needs to be writing this post). So, I decided I better start doing some research and find some
definitions to help me understand what femininity really is.

First, I decided to look up the worldly meaning of the word feminine.
adjective
pertaining to a woman or girl: feminine beauty; feminine dress.
having qualities traditionally ascribed to women, such as sensitivity or gentleness.
effeminate; womanish: a man with a feminine walk.
belonging to the female sex; female: feminine staff members.
(obtained from Dictionary.com)

The definition that I would like to focus on is the second one listed, the one regarding the qualities of a woman. For me, this definition is the one that caused such mixed emotions. In the world today, women do not like to feel like they are weak, not good enough, or unequal in any
way. I feel like the world views sensitivity and gentleness as weak qualities. To the world, sensitive women cry too much and gentle women have no backbone. Women are taught, sometimes from an early age, to believe that to get anywhere in this world, they must put these
characteristics aside, toughen up “like a man,” and grab this world by the horns.

Second, I turned to the truth about femininity in God’s word. Of course, the scriptures that every woman turns to on how to become a godly woman are found in Proverbs 31, but these can be very intimidating scriptures. When I used to read the scriptures, I would start having an anxiety attack and get depressed. I kept thinking, “I am supposed to be Wonder Woman, and I am failing miserably.” But in order to really understand the Godly meaning of femininity, we need to go all the way back to the beginning.

In Genesis 2 we read:
And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper
comparable to him” (Genesis 2:18, NKJV).
Later in that chapter, God created woman. So, if we look at the above scripture closely, we learn that God purposefully made women as we are, and He meant to make us that way! What the world views as weak, God has perfectly made and uses for His Glory. Gentleness and sensitivity are not weak at all but strong and bold in their own way, and they are an important part of how we fulfill our job as helper. These characteristics are not something to be ashamed of but embraced and used!

So now, when we go back to Proverbs 31:10-31, we can read it through different lenses. In the world now, the Proverbs 31 woman looks a little different but still exhibits many of the same qualities. As women, oftentimes we wear many hats: we are wife, mom, doctor, teacher,
disciplinarian, chef, custodian, friend and in some situations, we are dad, too. And God gave us just the right qualities, including the feminine ones, to handle every situation and be the best helpers that we can be. It is time for us to step into and accept the femininity that God gave us.
Gentleness and sensitivity do not make us the weaker vessel; they make us the equal vessel.

A special thanks to Tana Navarette for writing this post.

When I was a senior in college, due to some major medical trauma of the past year, I began to lose my hair. Losing my hair was quite an identity crisis for me. Even though the head scarves my mom had bought me were very pretty, I still worried what other people thought of me.

One evening, my sister and a friend of ours told me we were going to get coffee. But when we got to the car, our friend blindfolded me and would not tell me where we were actually going. Finally, we arrived at the destination. They led me carefully up the steps of a house and opened the door.

One of them took off the blindfold. There, in the middle of the living room, stood nine of my friends from church.

“SURPRISE!!!” they yelled.

I gaped at them. “What is this?” I looked over at the girl next to me.

“It’s a surprise party for you!” she said gleefully.

Each of the girls had a scarf wrapped around her head, and most of them had on their reading glasses—just like me. Each one of them had bought me a brand-new scarf, and at the end of the night, gave them to me. I even got some from a few friends that were not able to make it.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but this was a turning point for me. These friends ministered to a place deep inside me, even before I knew I needed it. Their presence and their kindness told me that they cared, and I was not alone.

My own definition of biblical femininity is: what it looks like to be a woman who follows Jesus every day. The women who have taught me the most about this will probably never be recognized publicly for what they do. They just continue to serve those around them and teach by their actions and their words. I have watched how these women have treated their families, their husbands, and me. They are full of kindness and speak life over everyone around them. Proverbs puts it this way: “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (Proverbs 31:26).

Here are a few things I have learned:

Women who follow Jesus are life givers.

As women, we were created to make things around us better. When we choose to speak life and God’s Word over the people and situations around us, we change things (even when we can’t always see it).

Women who follow Jesus see beauty in the broken.

Whether it’s seeing the potential in a broken piece of furniture at the antique store or seeing the gifts in a broken and hurting person, women are created to notice beauty. As women, we make our homes places of comfort and welcome for our families and ourselves (whatever that looks like!). We ask God to help us see others the way He sees them, even if they are a bit “messy” on the outside.

Women who follow Jesus are not afraid to set healthy boundaries.

The more we follow Jesus, the more secure we are in our identity in Christ. We choose to follow His voice first. Sometimes that means narrowing our focus and saying no to good things in order to say yes to the best for a season. Setting healthy boundaries means protecting our time, our health, our marriage, and our family. When these areas are in a healthy place, then we can reach out to others beyond that.

Women who follow Jesus love and serve those around them.

You may feel like your “circle of influence” is small. But don’t compare yourself to someone else. Who has God put around you today? Wherever God has placed you, the people you are called to love and serve are the ones you bump into every day.

Maybe you’re like me in the beginning story. You feel like you’ve lost something and you don’t know what it looks like to step into your biblical womanhood. Keep your heart open and keep being faithful with what God has put in front of you. God will show you how, one step at a time.

A special thanks to Heather Dillard for writing this post.

Tag: Femininity

Biblical Feminity

Women are Life Givers