Friendship – Women's Ministry

Created for Community

August 5, 2021August 5, 2021by hcfwomenLeave a Comment

Editor’s note: For the month of August, our focus scripture can be found in 1 Corinthians 12:27 where it says that “Now you, collectively, are Christ’s body, and individually, you are members of it, each with his own special purpose and function.” AMP

You wake up, ready to serve. You are filled with energy and purpose.

Then comes the bombardment: “You are not ready. You did not prepare enough. You are going to mess up and not be able to recover. Why are you doing this? You are tired. You have too much on your plate. This isn’t going to be worth it.”

You push against the thoughts. “I made a commitment, and I’m going to do what I said I would do.” The kids start complaining, you discover you have a flat tire, and you are running out of time. It would be easy to just give up. You are feeling frustrated, knowing you are under attack,
and you ask God to anoint you with His protection and provision. Finally, you reach your destination, and you are grateful that you showed up.

Does this story sound familiar? You experienced a similar attack before going to church, or helping another person, or going to work, or anything that involves community. The enemy fed you lies such as, “You are not worthy. They do not really like you. You will never be enough.”

You see, the enemy does not want us to gather in community with other believers. Why? Because when we are together, we are stronger. Jesus said, “For where two or three have gathered together in my name, I am there in their midst” (Matthew 20:18). The enemy knows there is strength in numbers. Where one is weak, another is strong. Where one can only see a fog, another has clarity. God blesses us when we come together.

We are each unique, with different gifts, personalities, experiences, perspectives, desires, and purposes. We are wonderfully created. We are daughters of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Each of our lives is an integral part of a stunning masterpiece.

“Now you are Christ’s body, and individually members of it” (1 Corinthians 12:27).

When the enemy attacks you with lies meant to keep you from others, focus on the truth: You are a precious child of God. You have a place in this world. You are needed. God has a plan for you. He created you, and He loves you dearly.

God also has a plan for the myriad of individuals we encounter throughout our lives. When we come together to accomplish the things He has written in our hearts, the results are incredible.

We, as women, tend to process our thoughts and emotions when we spend time together and share our hopes, dreams, and struggles. Vulnerability is a beautiful thing. Your story may be exactly what someone else needs to hear.

Be authentic. God created you just as you are for a reason. Every experience you have had can be used to further His Kingdom. If you have made mistakes, you can help others avoid those pitfalls. If you have struggled with certain things in your life, you can encourage others who are
going through the same things. It goes the other way too. The people you spend time with can also help you by sharing their stories.

God works in mysterious ways. Ask Him to open your eyes to the needs of others and to fill your needs. He knows the depths of our souls. Be still and listen for that small, soft whisper that is from God. He will guide you in reaching out. You will know His voice because there will be peace.

Be willing to listen to the perspectives of others. Sometimes they can see things we would never even contemplate. There have been times in my life when I thought I had considered every course of action, and after sharing my dilemma with a friend, I was surprised to find that my friend could see another way. One friend directed my focus to God when she questioned, “Have you asked God about it? Maybe He’s trying to tell you something.”

God did not create us to be alone. We need community. We need the unique perspectives and gifts of one another. We can use our strengths and weaknesses to help each other. As we gather, we can advance God’s Kingdom in a powerful way. God will guide you. Listen to Him.

Together in Christ, we are made strong.

We would like to thank Julia Franklin for writing this blog post.

Faith, Friendship, General, Joy

JOY in Uncertainty

July 22, 2021July 26, 2021by hcfwomenLeave a Comment

Editor’s note: John 15:13 says that “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” For the month of July, each blog post will be centered around this verse and finding the JOY in a life of Christ.

You know, the Lord always has an interesting way of working things out for me. Of course, it is always for my good. I was asked to write a blog about joy, to which I obviously said, “yes!” and about a week and a half later, I entered into what I like to call a “funk.” I started enduring some personal trails like disappointment and discouragement. And I’m over here thinking, “Lord, I’m supposed to be writing a blog about joy! How am I supposed to do that in the midst of all this?” He quickly reminded me of where my joy comes from and to just share my story.

If you are friends with me on Facebook, you may have seen my post about my funk. I typically try to keep my page positive and full of cute pictures of my kiddos and my family while just sharing tidbits of life and truth. That day, however, I was just honest about what I was going through so that others may not feel quite so alone in whatever it is they might be going through. To be truthful, I didn’t really think much would come of the post, but to my surprise, I was bombarded with support and love from people near and far. I even had people private message me to encourage me or tell me I had been on their heart. It was as if the Lord was say, “See?”

You see, I had been feeling quite lonely, wondering why it seems like I am in a season of pruning. I was feeling left out, wondering when it would ever feel like anyone wanted to include me as their “bestie”. I had spent a day or two, unfortunately, allowing the enemy to creep into my thoughts and convince me I wasn’t good enough for anyone to call friend. One night, with my sweet husband asleep to the world beside me, I laid in bed and just cried myself to sleep crying out to Jesus. I begged him, “if I’m not supposed to have a bestie-type friendship right now, can you please show me how to grow so close to you that you’re my true best friend that I know will never leave me?” It was in that moment that I was reminded of where my JOY comes from.

My JOY doesn’t come from having a picture perfect day with my four sweet kids not fighting and actually obeying what I say. My JOY doesn’t come from everyone on the internet being nice to me and liking all the stuff I post. My JOY doesn’t even come from having friendships. My JOY comes from Jesus! Not my circumstances. Not when everything is going my way. In the midst of uncertainty, God’s word says that we will rejoice and that during various trials is an opportunity to choose JOY. And that JOY comes from Him alone!

So today, I choose JOY! I choose to seek the One from where my JOY comes from!

We would like to thank Paige Keller for writing this blog post.

Beauty, Faith, Femininity, Friendship, General, Gratitude, Health, Identity, Prayer

Women are Life Givers

February 4, 2021February 4, 2021by hcfwomenLeave a Comment

Editor’s Note: During the month of February, we are focusing on a Call to Femininity. The world often gives women a different idea of what womanhood should look like. Looking to the Word gives us clear direction and instruction on how to be the woman God designed us to be.

When I was a senior in college, due to some major medical trauma of the past year, I began to lose my hair. Losing my hair was quite an identity crisis for me. Even though the head scarves my mom had bought me were very pretty, I still worried what other people thought of me.

One evening, my sister and a friend of ours told me we were going to get coffee. But when we got to the car, our friend blindfolded me and would not tell me where we were actually going. Finally, we arrived at the destination. They led me carefully up the steps of a house and opened the door.

One of them took off the blindfold. There, in the middle of the living room, stood nine of my friends from church.

“SURPRISE!!!” they yelled.

I gaped at them. “What is this?” I looked over at the girl next to me.

“It’s a surprise party for you!” she said gleefully.

Each of the girls had a scarf wrapped around her head, and most of them had on their reading glasses—just like me. Each one of them had bought me a brand-new scarf, and at the end of the night, gave them to me. I even got some from a few friends that were not able to make it.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but this was a turning point for me. These friends ministered to a place deep inside me, even before I knew I needed it. Their presence and their kindness told me that they cared, and I was not alone.

My own definition of biblical femininity is: what it looks like to be a woman who follows Jesus every day. The women who have taught me the most about this will probably never be recognized publicly for what they do. They just continue to serve those around them and teach by their actions and their words. I have watched how these women have treated their families, their husbands, and me. They are full of kindness and speak life over everyone around them. Proverbs puts it this way: “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (Proverbs 31:26).

Here are a few things I have learned:

Women who follow Jesus are life givers.

As women, we were created to make things around us better. When we choose to speak life and God’s Word over the people and situations around us, we change things (even when we can’t always see it).

Women who follow Jesus see beauty in the broken.

Whether it’s seeing the potential in a broken piece of furniture at the antique store or seeing the gifts in a broken and hurting person, women are created to notice beauty. As women, we make our homes places of comfort and welcome for our families and ourselves (whatever that looks like!). We ask God to help us see others the way He sees them, even if they are a bit “messy” on the outside.

Women who follow Jesus are not afraid to set healthy boundaries.

The more we follow Jesus, the more secure we are in our identity in Christ. We choose to follow His voice first. Sometimes that means narrowing our focus and saying no to good things in order to say yes to the best for a season. Setting healthy boundaries means protecting our time, our health, our marriage, and our family. When these areas are in a healthy place, then we can reach out to others beyond that.

Women who follow Jesus love and serve those around them.

You may feel like your “circle of influence” is small. But don’t compare yourself to someone else. Who has God put around you today? Wherever God has placed you, the people you are called to love and serve are the ones you bump into every day.

Maybe you’re like me in the beginning story. You feel like you’ve lost something and you don’t know what it looks like to step into your biblical womanhood. Keep your heart open and keep being faithful with what God has put in front of you. God will show you how, one step at a time.

A special thanks to Heather Dillard for writing this post.

Friendship, General, God's Presence, Grace, Honor, Kindness, Peace, Prayer, Scripture

Contentment in the Workplace

October 8, 2020October 8, 2020by hcfwomenLeave a Comment

Editor’s Note: It can be difficult to walk through a long season, but God is our comforter. He is our strength, he is our provider, our deliverer, our refuge, our very present help in time of need. God is with us and is for us. He is not far away. This month, we are going to talk about contentment. Contentment in the valleys, and contentment on the mountains. God is near in both places.

Working in education is completely new this school year. I’ll bet you can say the same about your workplace, too, whether you work at the bank, at Walmart, or in medicine. Even though I’ve worked at my job in the same school for the past 22 years, teaching this year has come with some challenges that I’ve never faced before. Will it be possible for us to learn to find contentment in our workplaces, even in times like these?

In 22 years, I’ve found a good deal of enjoyment in my vocation; otherwise, why would I still be at the same place? I’ll admit, though, that I’ve gone through days or weeks of doldrums, discouragement, and discontent, too. Most of the time, looking back, the deciding factor between the good days and the bad days has more to do with my attitude or disposition than with any circumstance or challenge in my job.

How do you see your workplace? To maintain contentment there, it has to be more than a paycheck: it needs to be a mission and a calling. Colossians 3:23 tells me, “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.” When I consider that I’m working for Him, my work becomes a calling and a ministry, not just a job. As a teacher, the last line on my contract says, “Other duties as assigned.” To me this means that there will be divine appointments taking place throughout the day, and I’m in that school to meet needs that may have nothing whatsoever to do with teaching kids to read or write. I might get to pray for a co-worker, comfort a student who has had a loss, encourage another who is struggling, or visit with a parent who is worried about her child. What kinds of divine appointments do you see at your workplace on a daily or weekly basis?

Thomas Merton wrote, “Before the Lord wills me to do anything, He first of all wills me to ‘be.’ What I do must depend on what I am.” God’s Word has some great advice about contentment in all parts of our lives. Philippians 4:11 says, “I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am in.” If Paul can learn to be content in his work, we can learn the same in ours. He continues in verse 13, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Let’s look at some practical ways that we can not only be content ourselves but create an atmosphere of peace and contentment within our places of employment and among our colleagues.

The words we speak are creative. They are either creating a positive or negative environment around us. In John 6:43, Jesus tells people, “Do not grumble among yourselves,” and Philippians 2:14 advises us to “do all things without grumbling or disputing.” A workplace where employees grumble and complain about the job, about co-workers, or about the boss is going to be stirred up with negativity. Our words feed the spirit of the places we work, and since we spend the majority of our time there, we are submerging ourselves in peace or stress with every word we speak. If we have to complain to someone, Psalm 142:2 directs us: “I pour out my complaint before Him.” Taking our frustrations and aggravations to Jesus will prevent us from muddying the atmosphere at work with negative talk.

Working with other people can be stressful. Colleagues or customers will rub us the wrong way at times. The stress in people’s lives now magnifies trouble. Paul tells us in Ephesians to “be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (4:32). If we can make the decision to forgive before we have ever been offended, we can walk in peace, no matter what happens. Romans 12:18 in The Passion Translation says, “Do your best to live as everybody’s friend.” Sometimes in workplaces, there can be a lot of drama. The lunchroom or the lounge can turn into gossip-central, if we are not careful. Living as everyone’s friend means that we will allow the Holy Spirit to guard our mouths and let love cover over other people’s faults.

In the workplace, everyone has his or her own idea of what is important. We all want to be recognized for our contributions, but Philippians 2:3-4 tells us, “Don’t allow self-promotion to hide in your hearts, but in authentic humility put others first and view others as more important than yourselves. Abandon every display of selfishness. Possess a greater concern for what matters to others instead of your own interests.” I’ve found that when our staff works as a team, covering each other and helping each other, rather than staking out our own territory, there is much less friction.

Finally, communication is so important for a peaceful workplace. Part of my job this year is to take the Pre-K students their breakfasts every morning. My principal asked me to do this about the second or third day of school. I began going in at 7:30 and getting breakfasts for the students as they came in. I noticed that the cafeteria director seemed more and more annoyed with me every day. Finally, about a week ago, I asked her if there was anything I could do to make things easier on them. She said, “Well, it’s just that I was told that no one would be coming in to get the breakfasts for the Pre-K until 7:45.” I had never been told that before! So, we made a deal right then that I would not come in anymore until 7:45 to get the breakfasts. Sounds like a simple thing, but miscommunication, or lack of communication, was compounding her stress level, and it was a simple fix! If things don’t seem right, ask if there is any way that you can help or make things easier. Opening up communication will prevent so many misunderstandings and save some hurt feelings.

The workplace is where we can let our light shine. If we can walk into our jobs filled with the Holy Spirit, ready to lay our lives down for our co-workers, and prepared to serve people as if we are directly serving God, what a difference it will make in our places of employment. What a witness to the world around us that we can really walk in peace in the midst of chaos.

We would like to thank Sheri Warren for contributing this post!

Family, Friendship, God's Presence, Grace, Hospitality, Kindness

Hostess with the Mostest

August 27, 2020by hcfwomenLeave a Comment

Editor’s Note: It’s almost FALL, y’all!!!! We will be focusing on hospitality for the next few weeks. Hospitality is so much more than what you produce. It’s the warm, welcoming atmosphere, it’s the peace you welcome others into, it’s the attention to the person in front of you, the listening that shows true hospitality. I know you’ll be refreshed and enlightened by the posts we have this month. Happy reading!!

I learned when I was a young child the duties of a hostess as I watched my Mom and Dad in their church work. They were very involved with the youth ministry, so they were always ready for expected and unexpected youth coming to our house and making themselves at home. My mom was an amazing cook, and she had the sweetest soul of anyone you would ever meet. She always had something special ready for snacks. My dad was deemed the best all around door-greeter and was loved by all. They were prime examples of “Love God, Love People.”

An important part of being a great hostess is setting an atmosphere of fun and relaxation. My guests need to feel safe, comfortable, and know that they are welcome, to the point where no one feels like leaving. One way to do this is to make your guests feel important. Give them your undivided attention. When they leave your house, it’s not the food or the spotless floors they’ll remember; it’s your caring heart and your invested conversation that will make a bigger impact. You can make your guests feel loved as soon as they step into your home by treating them as VIPs. Each and every person who enters your home is very important to the Kingdom because they are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). You can extend this even further by offering your guests a word of encouragement as they leave your home.

One specific way you can set the stage of comfort, relaxation, and importance in your home is through the sense of smell. Smell is connected to memory, so yummy smells in your home can help trigger fun and happy memories for your guests or just help put them at ease. If you enjoy candles or essential oils, you might have some going near the front door, on your patio, in your sunroom, or in the living room. If you prefer the smell of baked goods, fresh baked bread, brownies, or cookies are all inviting smells and come with the added bonus of having a treat to serve your guests.

God gives us the gift of hospitality so that we can glorify Him as we care for others. The blessing of the walls in our home provides safety and security for our families and can provide an atmosphere of care for the guests who enter as well. Romans 12:13 teaches us to share with those in need and to practice hospitality. When we open our home to others, we honor God and honor those who walk through our door. I Peter 4:9-10 says, “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.” Practicing hospitality makes us instruments of God’s grace and allows us to extend His grace to those with whom we come in contact.

The Word tells us, “Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously (2 Corinthians 9:6). Scripture goes on to say, “You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God” (2 Corinthians 9:11). As you seek out opportunities to show hospitality by inviting guests into your home, remember that you are also practicing generosity. Ask God to cultivate this fruit in your life and watch His blessings flow!

We would like to thank Diana Brumley for writing this post!

Friendship, General, God's Presence, Hospitality, Kindness, Listening, Prayer

How to Practice Everyday Hospitality

August 13, 2020by hcfwomenLeave a Comment

When I think of the word hospitality, I think of inviting someone into my home, providing food and drink, initiating good conversation, and in essence, offering a pleasant time spent together.

I have to be honest: in the past that word HOSPITALITY would bring anxiety, fear and insecurity. Sometimes, it still can. For me, it brings up thoughts of scheduling, tidying up, spending, and worst of all, getting everybody on board to help for having someone in our home. But as I’ve learned more about who God is and what He is about, I’ve learned if it’s not good then it’s not God!

If I allow those feelings of lack (fear, anxiety, insecurity) to dictate my actions, then I’m not allowing God to use me or be seen by others through me. His Word says to “welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you” (Romans 15:7). We are called to do as our Father does.

Romans 12:13 says to “find ways to show hospitality. ” This requires being proactive in seeking out opportunities to be hospitable. It means being a good steward of the home God has given me so I can show love to more of His children. My home is HIS home. It really is that simple.

Even more simple than that is knowing what true hospitality is—“to present a friendly and generous reception.” We usually think of hospitality as using our physical home, but I think it’s more about our spiritual home. So rather than making hospitality about meeting at a time and a place, we can demonstrate hospitality through our everyday interactions: a warm smile, a touching note, a prayer or wise word, or a needed phone call. Actions of love show someone that you value them and that you’re willing to do a little extra for them. In the end, isn’t that what hospitality is truly all about?

God’s greatest commands in Matthew 22:37 were to love Him and love your neighbor.

Everything about God is about the heart—it all begins with our heart. Our goal is to love who God loves and there is NOT ONE person that God doesn’t love. So practically speaking, how can we mold our heart to love who God loves? His word says in Ephesians 2:10 that we were “created to do good works [show hospitality] which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” God did the hard work, and He will not stop, so we just have to LET Him use us. That’s it! We were MADE for this – TO LOVE OTHERS AND SHOW IT!

When we begin to pray on that one thought – to show others God’s love, no matter who – then our thoughts become actions, and that’s when hospitality comes in. Inviting someone into your prayers invites them into your space, and that becomes an act of love. Hospitality becomes a far deeper and more personal act than simply inviting someone into your physical home; it becomes an intimate conversation with God about another of God’s beloved. Hospitality becomes an emotion of LOVE. We were made for this, now we just have to allow ourselves to DO it.’

We would like to thank Sandra Villa for writing this blog post.

Faith, Family, Friendship, Honor, Kindness, Prayer

Building Unity in a Broken World

August 7, 2020August 22, 2020by hcfwomen1 Comment

When my boys, who are five and seven, argue with each other, they get to wear a “get-along” shirt. They both fit inside Daddy’s shirt with one arm sticking out and one around each other. The first time I challenged them to move across the room without touching the floor, arguing turned to laughter and unity. The next time they forcibly donned an oversized shirt that wrangled them together, they began, without prompting, working their way across the room together as in a game. If my boys sulked inside the shirt or didn’t communicate, they never would have made it across the room united.

Sisters, Psalms‬ ‭133:1‬ ‭reminds us, “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” Yet any time I turn on the news or scroll through Facebook, discord splashes my eyes like grease from a hot skillet. My heart wretches at the pain spewing from people in the form of violence. My heart joins with peaceful protests concerning injustice.

But who am I to write about racial injustice?

Well, first and foremost, I am a follower of Jesus Christ. Jesus, before whom “every nation, tribe, people and language” (Revelation‬ ‭7:9‬) will stand and worship. Jesus Christ who “is all, and is in all” (Colossians‬ ‭3:11).

How does that give me voice to speak about racial injustice?

I am one who is submitted to the authority of Jesus Christ. However, on an external level, I acknowledge that I have grown up with white privilege. I am proud of my heritage with five generations working the same land, but I also acknowledge that such a heritage was denied to an entire people group based on their skin color. What was and continues to be a blessing in my life was never a possibility for my brothers and sisters in Christ with more melanin.

So, who am I to write about racial injustice?

I am a wife of a Christian man who happens to be Black. Once engaged, I was told, “You know it will be harder for you, right?” One one had, no. Marriage is not harder for us. My husband and I share like faith and values making marriage so much easier. We must communicate with each other and share our hearts just like any other couple.

But on the other hand, yes. It is harder. Not because my husband is Black, but because society perpetuates judgement towards my husband and three sons based on superficial skin. It’s harder because my husband and I will have difficult conversations with our sons as to why their hair looks different than their friends’ and won’t comb smoothly, as to why they don’t look like their Black friends OR their White friends, as to why they must be careful about how they interact with authorities, not only out of respect, but to save their lives.

And yet parents of all races should engage in challenging conversations with their children.

So is my interracial marriage really harder or simply different?

The real question I should be asking is: Who am I to say nothing about racial injustice? I’m someone who knows The Answer: Jesus.

Believers! We are not only called to unity, but to one body (Colossians 3:15). We need each other to function.

Believers! We are the answer our broken world craves. We are the embodiment of love because God is love (1 John 4:8) and God dwells in us collectively (1 Corinthians 3:16-17).

How can I handle this rift in our country that could easily consume me? If I focus on the ditch when I’m driving, I will end up in the ditch. If I focus on the road, then I am not so easily swayed. Rather than pretending continued racial inequality is a spin of the media or politicians or fixing our eyes on the media’s portrayal of a very real and pained racial divide, fix your eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2). He will guide you to the people you need to spend time with. Run in your lane. You may be called to a city where riots are shaking the streets, but don’t be so focused on the problems out there that you forget to love your own neighbor-next door or at the grocery store or at work.

Realize, as I’ve heard so often at church, “You can’t drive a ten-ton truck over a two-ton bridge.” Most of the topics in the news today are ten-ton topics. Don’t go up to someone you don’t have a relationship with and ask what they think about what is going on in the world. However, if someone needs to speak, let them be heard. Pain is real and deep and impossible to articulate without vulnerability. Attempting to give an answer or saying that you understand barricades the relationship road.

Please, acknowledge people’s lives and their pain. Listen and don’t judge their motives. People need to be heard and acknowledged as valuable. Meet people where they are and introduce them to Christ by your love.

Listening, laughing, crying with one another; having play dates with your kids; working side-by-side with excellence; playing games; sharing home culture and music and food and language; worshipping God side-by-side, hands lifted (or not). These are the types of activities that build relationship bridges. Create a safe environment for healthy relationships; not because of or in spite of skin color, but rather because we are the body of Christ. As Colossians compels us, let us put on love.

We would like to thank Mary Coleman for writing this blog post!

Friendship, Giving, Grace, Kindness, Self Control

Coals of Kindness

July 30, 2020by hcfwomen1 Comment

There’s a story that’s told about Abraham Lincoln. It was after the Civil War, and he was being criticized for his lenient treatment of the South. They had been defeated but Lincoln was trying to help them get back up on their feet. A woman approached him and in no uncertain terms let him know her opinion. “They are our enemies. They ought to be destroyed!” To which Lincoln responded, “How can I better destroy my enemies than by making them my friends?”

Mic. Drop.

The cultural atmosphere we find ourselves in today is no less divided. Masks or no masks….which lives matter….left or right….we all have convictions on these things, and it seems that just a quick surf through the social media world would tell you that you can pretty easily make some “enemies” just by voicing those opinions. But people are never the enemy. It says clearly in Ephesians 6 that “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the posers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places” (v. 12, NASB).

One of the things I really love to learn about is the cultural context of Biblical stories or sayings. I find myself sometimes just skimming over those parts I don’t understand; the ones my 21st century Western mind just doesn’t have a file folder for. One of those passages for me comes at the end of Romans 12. In verse 20, it says: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in doing so you will heap coals of fire on his head.”

I guess that I’ve always thought this alluded to some passive-aggressive way of getting back at people you don’t like. Kill ‘em with kindness. Heap those burning coals on their heads. That’ll teach ‘em. But the context of this verse paints a very different picture.

The people of the Bible times obviously lived a very different lifestyle. No microwaves, no convection ovens. If you were going to cook for your family, fire was a necessity. Many times a town would have a community fire that was constantly tended so that it would not go out. Residents could come and gather hot coals which they carried back to their homes in buckets on their heads. Now, if you didn’t live far from the fire, this was no problem. You could get home in plenty of time and use those coals to cook your family a meal. Folks who lived on the outskirts had a harder time. They had to rush to get back to their homes before the coals went out. Neighbors knew this, and would take some of the hot coals from their homes and put them on top of the buckets of those on their way so that they coals would stay hot for their journey. They would “heap coals of fire” on their heads. It wasn’t an act of revenge or spite but rather an act of kindness. It helped provide and sustain for their most basic needs. It was life-giving.

I don’t know how many of us would say today that we have people in our lives who are flat-out enemies. I do think we could all agree, however, that the culture in which we live is increasingly trying to divide. I’m not here to tell you which side to take.

I’m here to encourage you to bring a Kingdom perspective to your circle of influence.

The Kingdom says love your enemies. The Kingdom says pray for those who persecute you. Romans 12: 17-18 says, “Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceable with all men.”

Am I saying you shouldn’t speak up? No. Am I saying having convictions about cultural issues is wrong? Absolutely not. What I am saying is that we’re called to speak truth in love…to walk in kindness and humility…to heap burning coals on the heads of those who would oppose us…to speak life and blessing. Uggh. That’s hard. But that’s Kingdom, and that’s who we’re called to be.

We’d like to thank Becca Wilhite for writing this post!

Friendship, Gratitude, Hospitality

Creating Space for Others

January 23, 2020December 18, 2019by hcfwomenLeave a Comment

Editor’s Note: During the month of January, we will be reposting some of the top posts from 2019. I hope these encourage you. We have some great series planned for 2020. Stay tuned for all new posts coming in February!!

Hospitality. It really has more to do with a generous heart than with food or space. It is not about elaborate meals or the perfect home. It is about sharing real life together and living in community. Hospitality is about creating space for someone to feel seen and heard. And most of all, loved. I want people to feel warm and welcome in my home and full. Not just having their tummies fed, although I do love to cook, but having their heart fed. To know that they are wanted and that I am genuinely listening to them.

Why should you need to make opening your home a priority? I have a Pinterest board where I like to save ideas for recipes to make, parties to host, and a home to decorate. How many of you can relate? Although the world tells us that hospitality demands more, it is definitely not about perfection. Hospitality is actually more than that. It is more of a spiritual discipline. It has taken me years to realize this!

Titus 1:7-8 says, “For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined.”

No one was more hospitable than Jesus.

Although hospitality seems to be on the decline in our modern society, I find true delight in having friends over to just to sit and be real with me while I cook, organize, fold laundry, or watch the kids play outside. While I may not be the chattiest of women, I enjoy listening and offering encouragement. Letting friends see the inside of my home, the laundry going, the dirty dishes in the sink, the scatter-brained busyness life brings allows them to see inside my heart. Hospitality is where we allow friends to see how we live and where our hearts are at. It reveals the inward priorities of our hearts. It reflects humility.

Romans 12:13 says, “Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”

There have been many days when a friend dropped by and I thought about how the weeds had not been pulled in my driveway or how the dog should have been to the groomer much sooner, or my makeup wasn’t in its presentable state, or countless other reasons why it was not the best time for me. Lord, help us to put aside our distorted views of hospitality and teach us what it truly means to welcome people into our homes and our hearts. Being hospitable and allowing my friend into my heart creates a defining moment for both of us. My friend would never have known of their possible inconvenient timing and I would forget about all of my possible excuses once we are together visiting, being hospitable to one another.

Each time we invite someone into our homes, we are inviting Christ in.

Hebrews 13:2 says “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”

Hospitality might feel uncomfortable or awkward, but it is really very life-giving. It allows us to offer what we have in a service to one another. It allows us to exude friendship, community, and love. Hospitality is a blessing when we take the leap and do what God allows us to do.

We would like to thank Bonnie McIntosh for writing this blog!

Faith, Friendship, Gratitude, Scripture, Trust

Seeing God’s Goodness in our Suffering

January 2, 2020January 2, 2020by hcfwomen1 Comment

It’s been a little over a year since my husband and I lost the last two of our precious embryos with a failed IVF cycle. Our first IVF cycle, 6 years ago, was successful and gave us the two most amazing gifts we’ve ever received: Elliott and Sam. And because of that success, we never imagined our second try failing, but it did, and we were left heartbroken and disillusioned. All of our dreams of adding to our family were crushed by a 30 second phone call with news of a negative pregnancy test.

As much as I wish it weren’t so, we will all find ourselves in seasons of suffering.

The Bible promises us that we will suffer and yet it’s here where we wrestle with what we know to be true about who God is and what our feelings try to manipulate us into believing.

I can remember being so angry with God and questioning how he could ever allow us to walk through such devastation. I withdrew from Him, my husband, and my friends. I could actually feel my heart growing hard.

I think it’s natural to withdraw or retreat when we’re in pain but I know now that God never meant for us to retreat and then isolate ourselves. His Word tells us to retreat and find refuge in Him. (Psalm 46:1, Psalm 27:5, Psalm 71:3, and more)

I’m so grateful God reached down to pull me out of my pit of grief and I’m even more grateful that I chose to grab His hand. I was so blinded by everything I was feeling that I had forgotten His goodness. He’s been good to me all of my days.

There were three things that I’d like to share with you that helped me to see God’s goodness in the middle of my suffering. Three things that I know will help you to see His goodness too.

1) Gratefulness

One of the first things that popped into my mind after we lost our babies was how grateful I was for Elliott and Sam. I always knew they were miracles, but even more so after our second IVF cycle wasn’t successful.

Psalm 50:23 says that giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors the Lord. Gratefulness to God when you’re angry with Him or when you don’t understand what He’s up to or when you’re hurting so deeply you can barely breathe…oh yes, that’s a sacrifice. But gratefulness has a way of helping change our perspective. It keeps our eyes focused on Jesus. There is always something to be grateful for.

2) Other Believers

Matthew 18:20 says that God shows up when two or more gather in his name. If you’re suffering right now and feel like God has abandoned you, find a friend or family member and start praying in agreement over your situation and God promises He will show up on the scene.

3) Standing on the Promises in God’s Word

Here’s where I have been standing and it has been solid ground for me:

Psalm 73:21-26 – God holds me, God is the strength of my heart
Psalm 23:1-4 – He refreshes my soul, he gives me His presence and His comfort
Romans 8:28 – He works all things for my good

And the list goes on and on….

Can you imagine the impact our lives would collectively have if we as women would rise up in the midst of being deeply hurt and make the beautiful choice to still walk out biblical truth? To stand on the promises of God for us? Can we make the choice today to say, “God I believe your Word is true and I will not let my circumstances change that belief.”

No matter what we’re suffering through, there is good news for each one of us: God has created a beautiful path for us through our suffering, a journey that’s redemptive, healing, and life-giving.

I love this prayer from one of my favorite authors, Lysa Terkeurst. I hope you will pray this with me today.

God, even though my circumstances don’t feel good right now, I know that you are still good. So, I’m choosing to praise You. I praise You for being trustworthy. I praise You that You are with me in this moment and You stand in all of my tomorrows as well. I praise You for being the wisdom I can lean on when I have none of my own. I praise You for being my strength when I reach the end of my own. And I praise You that even though my circumstances change, You never do. You are forever faithful, forever loving, forever my good and gracious God.

We would like thank Amber Curry for writing this blog post.