My perceived golden years were supposed to be the time when ingathering was finished and I could enjoy the fruits of my many years of labor. The time when most of my bucket list could start happening and I could do the things I had put on the back-burner and told myself I’d do when I got old and gray. Then life got in the way and things didn’t go as I dreamed. My Little Mama’s golden years became tarnished by the patina of Alzheimer’s and she needed a care-giver. My golden years had changed into something totally different than I expected.
In seeking God‘s perspective for this season in my life He reminded me of this promise in 2 John 1,3:
To the elect lady and her children (family)… Grace, mercy and peace WILL be with you from God the Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ…
He reminded me that these words were much more than a salutation. They were HIS words of LIFE to me and that if I received each one and laid claim to them for my own as a daily blessing from Him then I could be who He wanted me to be for my family in this season.
GRACE. MERCY. PEACE. These words have nothing to do with what I do to make my home comfortable for my family….they have everything to do with who I am in my home with my family.
It is God’s grace that helps me when I have to parent my parent to make sure she remains safe and healthy. It is His grace that helps me in the times buttons from childhood get pushed and I want to respond in a defensive, emotional, or hateful way. It is His grace that helps me to be able to walk away from the physical clutter and chaos that this disease brings into a home.
It is His mercy flowing through me that gives me compassion for the times Little Mama comes to me scared because she doesn’t know where her parents or her husband or her puppy is. Mercy for when she doesn’t know where she is or why she is living with me so that I can comfort her and make her feel safe. It is His mercy that lets me know it is okay to be messed up emotionally at times when I get frustrated or when I see the confusion and pain in Little Mama’s eyes.
Most of all I find I can have inner peace because I know I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing in this season. Honoring my Little Mama and knowing this pleases my DAD. And if I continue to press in to receive and live in these blessings from Him, my home will flow in abundance of what He wants it to be….maybe not Better Homes and Gardens perfect, but God-Perfect….a life-giving, loving, warm, comfortable and safe haven for my family’s spirits.
This post was written by Kitty Shipman. To read more about her, click here.
4 thoughts on “Making a Home: Words for a Care-Giver”
Kitty, you are a great writer and this was a sweet article. Love and prayers.
Dear Sweet Friend, thank you for your words of encouragement and allowing me a glimpse into this Precious season of your life!!! Grace, Mercy, and Peace I desire for these to be in my home too!!! BE BLESSED!!! TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!😇😇😇
Oh thank you Kitty. Every day seems like I am getting more involved with things to help my sweet mom. I thank God she does not have alzheimer’s, her stroke was not debilitating and I’m still able to take her out of the house. I know it was God’s grace I am able to stop working outside of the house so I am free to do these things. Like you said I thought I would have been doing things from my bucket list, not sitting hours at a time in doctor offices. But I think God’s bucket was sitting there glowing with all the love she had poured into my life. I just needed to change buckets. I must remember how thankful I am to still be able to enjoy our time together, whether it may be at a doctor’s appointment or her weekly beauty shop. set. in. stone. appointment 🙂 thanks for the reminder.
My sweet sweet friend….tears well up in my eyes as I read your words…your heart in print. What encouragement and hope you give to those who are, or someday will be, right where you are. I love you and your “Little Mama” and you are in my prayers. xoxo