“Who is this coming up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved?” Song of Solomon 8:5
I have never in my life had such a definitive change in seasons.
All my past season changes were kind of blended like fall blends into winter and winter into spring.
This season change is almost like a nuclear holocaust…just a blank landscape with a wide open space of nothing except the debris of what used to be.
I have been a care-giver most of my life, starting as a child of a single parent. I gave care to my mama, my brother, and our home to help relieve some of my mama’s burden. Then came the season of marriage and child-raising. We all know what that requires of a wife and mother. Then all of a sudden the season of caring for the elders in my family arrived, and it lasted longer than the season of child-raising.
Now that all of these seasons have come and gone, I find my soul is weary and so is my body. As I sit in my woman-cave, I look around at all of the clutter that has accumulated during this past season and ponder: “Is this indicative of my heart, Lord? Is my heart so cluttered from the weariness and emotions of this past season that I need to be decluttered?” And as I quietly sit here, I hear my Jesus’ voice:
Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you. Let Me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.
(Matt. 11:28-30 NLT).
So, I have a choice. I can get in my normal “who” of being task-oriented and ABC-123, and slog through this wilderness in my own effort and keep on keeping on. Or I can stop and wait.
I can wait at the edge of this new season until I am refreshed in my soul. I can wait until I can see clearly God’s plan for me in this new season. I can wait and not be discouraged as I allow Holy Spirit to clear the clutter of emotions out of my heart and help me clear the clutter in my home. I can wait while the “Mary” in me is refreshed and revived, and the “Martha” takes a rest.
So, for now I plan to do some self-care, taking time to rest by not having so many self-expectations. I can enjoy doing life with my husband without having to put others’ needs before ours. I can be content keeping busy at home. I can still care for others through being diligent in prayer. And I can look forward with expectation to what God has for me.
This post was written by Kitty Shipman. To read more about her, click here.
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