Women's Ministry

Embracing Summer

June 12, 2016September 5, 2016by hcfwomenLeave a Comment

When I think about summertime with my children, I kind of imagine a scenic picture of a mom in a precious sundress bouncing down the sidewalk with her children who seem to be smiling ear to ear with a little bit of “What a Wonderful World” playing in the background. However…Yes, I said it. However, this is so not what my life looks like most of the time in the summer. Far too often I look up and it is 11 a.m., I am still in my yoga pants and t-shirt, re-heating my coffee and trying to keep up with the wild circus that is taking place in my home.

Summertime can be overwhelming, and last year I really had to begin praying through how to embrace summer, and I feel like the Lord laid several things on my heart.

1. Work hard/Play hard: I am raising girls to be women—and you may be raising boys to be men- so we work. So we start our day with breakfast and chores. Every morning they are to put away their laundry, hang up their clothes, and help mama unload the dishwasher. I know what you’re thinking—fun summer, mama! However—fun really isn’t ever really fun until you know what work is. Spontaneity cannot exist without structure, so set a schedule and create some responsibilities for your children, because they will be more excited than you can imagine on the random day you throw that schedule out!

2. Partner up: Take the time and initiative needed to get together with your girlfriends. Let others know what you’re doing with your children and do them together. Our children need to see what friendship, and living with one another looks like.

3. Get involved in the community: I feel like sometimes summer throws our budget straight out of the window. I love to take my children out and do things with them—but that can often be expensive. Use your resources. The library is free and has many events for you and your children such as magic shows, petting zoos, or kick off summer parties—there are SO many options in your local community that are cost effective. Do your research and get out into the community!

4. Get outside: I cannot stress this enough. Get. Outside. Go on a nature walk or an adventure! Just this last week we saw a duck that made a nest in our neighbors’ bushes with 4 eggs. The eggs had hatched but left behind their shells as treasures. Engage their imagination and get them some vitamin D as you get outside. Plus side: we always do this right after our chores and my house stays cleaner a little longer!

5. Be Present: No matter what it is you do with your children this summer, be present. You only have 18 summers with them. That’s it! Use your time wisely and be right there in the moment with them. Take their hand as you adventure through summer together!

This post was written by Maggie Riley.

Family, Holidays

4 Must-Have Family Travel Tips

June 6, 2016May 24, 2016by hcfwomen1 Comment

Summer is upon us and family travel is eminent. I love THE IDEA of getting out of town for a bit. However, THE REALITY of leaving with the entire family can be exhausting. If your family is anything like ours, the concept of vacationing goes like this: You actually factor in some extra time to leave, then turn around and go back to the house to get the one thing you stayed up all night telling yourself to not forget!

Vacationing used to be a breeding ground for tiffs and tough times. I have a friend who says taking a family vacation is just a way to go fight in a different place.

My husband Jodie and I have learned a few things that help us travel in “peace” with our kids. Maybe they’ll be helpful to you, too.

1. Manage expectations. Talk OUT LOUD with your spouse regarding what would make your trip great and also what would create anxiety. If you understand what would make each person’s dream come true or what they’re worried about, then you can take that into consideration. Take action steps to make that person’s dream come true while being considerate and helping ease anxiety. When we go see my parents, Jodie loves to go to a restaurant in Strawn, Texas, called Mary’s. He can put up with a lot of other randomness on our trip if he knows that an ungodly-sized chicken-fried steak is in the forecast. Usually we each only get one dream granted per trip. Deal with it

2. Get organized. Trying to do everything needed to get gone the day we’re leaving on a trip is a sure-fire way to put me in my pain cycle. One of the kindest things I can do for myself is handle laundry, packing suitcases and servicing the car 1-2 days in advance. If we’re feeling super motivated, then we pack everything in the car the night before we leave.

3. Set realistic travel plans. When we’re traveling with kids, we understand we’ll have to stop. A lot. Or we can force it and deal with explosions of emotion 10 miles from our destination. Do whatever you want, but setting up children and grownups for meltdowns just doesn’t sound like a nice, relaxing atmosphere.

4. My heart is my responsibility. If I find myself heading down a bad path emotionally, I need to be the grown up and figure out what’s going on and make a choice to get back on a better path. Early on in our marriage I vented all my frustration on my husband when we’d leave town. After a while we figured out that I needed to eat an apple for the first 10 miles of the trip. I know it’s silly, but it helped give me time to cool off and get some perspective.

Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. You being yourself is the best start to making your trip awesome!

This post was written by Jodi LaFrance. To read more about her, click here.

Books, Prayer

The Circle Maker {A Book Review}

May 30, 2016September 9, 2025by hcfwomen1 Comment

Every month, we feature a book review based on our blog theme for that month. For more great book suggestions, check out our Bookshelf tab here. (And for you non-readers, check out the audio book options!)

For May, we’ve been blogging about the power of prayer, and while there are a lot of great books on prayer, I wanted to review The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson.

When I first started reading this book, I only read through maybe a third of it—and then I got discouraged. We were praying for miracles in our life, and Mark shared testimony after testimony of God’s answered prayer for his life and for his church.

I suddenly felt a bit forgotten and alone.

And, to be honest, I sort of developed a bad attitude toward the book. I would say stuff like, “Oh, he’s just all about ‘name it and claim it.’ That’s not how God operates.”

Let me tell you, friends, when I did actually come back to finish it—a year or so later—I realized it’s so very far from being heretical.

Mark gives insight into the heart of God for prayer: that we would believe, that we would risk in what we ask for because only then are we exercising faith, and that we would be persistent even when we don’t see anything changing.

He’s very quotatble, so I’ll try to be sparse, but here are a few of my favorites:

“His command better be your wish. If it’s not, you won’t be drawing circles; you’ll end up walking in circles” (p. 16).

“God does not answer vague prayers” (p. 27).

“No doesn’t always mean no; sometimes it means not yet. We’re too quick to give up on God when He doesn’t answer our prayers how or when we want. Maybe your deadline doesn’t fit God’s timeline… Maybe it’s a divine delay” (p. 64).

“If you want God to surprise you, you have to give up control” (p. 66).

“I don’t want easy answers or quick answers because I have a tendency to mishandle the blessings that come too easily or too quickly. I take the credit or take them for granted. Now I pray that it will take long enough and be hard enough for God to receive all the glory. I’m not looking for the path of least resistance; I’m looking for the path of greatest glory… Maybe we need to change our prayer approach from as soon as possible to as long as it takes (p. 196).

Whether you’re a seasoned prayer warrior or are looking for an approach to be more disciplined with your prayer life, you’ll be encouraged by this book!

Pray in middle voice—taking action but depending on God to complete the action.

Let’s exercise our faith through prayer!

This post was written by Laura Brandenburg. To read more about her, click here.

Fruitfulness, Prayer

Influence in Your Circle

May 23, 2016September 5, 2016by hcfwomenLeave a Comment

I once declared, “I won’t do anything without talking with You about it first, God.” The statement came after a terrible time of grief and pride, and as the only reasonable response to a stunning and specific, yet amazingly gentle, correction given to me by Our Father.

I’d like to say that I have made good on that promise 100%, but that would not be true. However, our Counselor reminds me of that vow when I “go and do,” but neglect my conversations with God. I have noticed that the pattern holds: as I pray about personal, marriage, parenting, friendship, church and ministry, vocation, political issues, etc., I see His praise-worthy creative power at work. However, when I neglect my privileged responsibility to pray over my spheres of influence, I hopelessly witness not only my own but others’ terrible times, grief, and pride.

Remarkably, God Himself made nearly the same statement to us as I made to Him. Amos 3:7 (NIV) says,

Surely the Sovereign Lord does nothing without revealing his plan to his servants the prophets.

I believe the reason He does this is to provide the reality of the difference He makes in our and others’ lives. Our spoken prayers toward Him make a difference in our perspective of the world. Also true is that His spoken word—transforming us internally and manifesting externally through us—makes a difference in how He and the world relate to one another. Powerfully, we are in God’s sphere of influence!

Our faith is the only one which states that overcoming this world’s degenerative problems is not just possible, it is the ongoing fulfillment of an eternal promise (John 16:33)! God’s part of the conversation, often given through His disciples, is powerful and effective; He provides correction, encouragement, love, and every good thing.

Many Christians I have known struggle with the words “witness,” “testimony,” and “prophecy”; they sound like they belong to other people and other times. However, John’s Revelation (19:10 – ERV) message, “…the truth of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy” is for all disciples of all ages to experience! When we think about it, to witness simply means to provide “public affirmation by word or example,” especially, of our belief in the doctrine of Christianity (the teachings of Jesus and of His Apostles) to those who need the Truth.

Jesus encourages disciples with His timeless declaration, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33 – NIV). The world is large, and our problems in it can seem overwhelming; however, the pattern of God’s power in overcoming remains. It is our privileged responsibility to pray about religions and politics, work and recreation, friends, and family; because, these spheres touch and overlap. Praying, we witness God’s influence throughout the world. Beginning with our own little circle, we’ll increasingly see how He changes lives in every good way!

This post was written by Tina Crowson.

Prayer

Praying in Power

May 16, 2016April 23, 2016by hcfwomen2 Comments

About nine years ago, I began gathering with half a dozen women around the HCF kitchen island every week. It is here that I have learned how to pray—for myself, my family, but most of all for our church. Here I have learned what an honor it is to pray for our pastors and church leadership, and to come into agreement with what God is doing in our land. You can learn how to pray in power and authority over our church, too. Dear sister, your prayers over our church matter.

So how do we pray declarative prayers of truth and power over our church?

First of all, we need to pray in agreement with what our pastors are praying (or words they have received) over our church. This increases the power released when we are praying in unity with our leadership (not just praying what we think needs to be prayed). Yes, we all have the ability to hear the Holy Spirit—but the Holy Spirit has chosen to speak to our leaders, so we need to get on board with that! We need to catch the vision of what God is doing in our church and our community…and that most often comes through what He is speaking to our pastors.

Our pastors are not super-human. They are regular people like you and me. But they have been anointed by God to lead our church, and that is a great responsibility. They need us to support them in unity and in prayer.

One of my favorite verses to declare over our pastors is Ephesians 3:16.

I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His Spirit.

Second, we need to be in tune with God’s Spirit. We need to ask God to make us so aware of His Spirit moving. We need to come ready to hear and see and speak what He is doing and saying. It does not matter if you are on the “prayer team” or not. This is something that every member of the church should be aiming toward every minute of the day.

This is not about us. It is about stepping in and being part of what God is doing. We as the Church have the responsibility to pray God’s Word and God’s will over our church. We are all part of the team. Our prayers create an atmosphere for God to come in power.

Third: Have faith. Spend time drawing near to God. We need to receive what God says about who we are; then He will deposit into us His heart for people. When we get God’s heart, we are able to pray in confidence His words over our church…His Body. God’s heart is for us. God’s heart is for this community. God’s heart is for this Church. So pray believing—for power, miracles, healing, freedom, and transformation. God wants to move in power in our church!

This post was written by Heather Dillard. To read more about her, click here.

Faith, Family, Prayer

Permission to Act Like a Child

May 9, 2016April 21, 2016by hcfwomenLeave a Comment

I am a huge fan of hypothetical situations. I often laugh out loud at hypothetical “what ifs” that play through my mind. In accordance with this pastime, I often think about “what if” we reacted to things the same way as children? Can you imagine?

I am disappointed that my favorite class at the gym got cancelled so I proceed to throw a pathetic tantrum at the front desk. Someone cuts in front of me at the store when I am in a huge hurry…and I respond by tattling to the checker while bringing my shoulder low and pushing my body in front of the person that cut me in line. This brings a smile to my face, but is not acceptable in the least.

While this picture of childlike behavior paints a picture of immaturity and a lack of skills to deal with difficult situations, I have recently begun to consider the spiritual lessons and wisdom that I can gain from my five-year-old daughter, Conley. Recently, I found her in our hallway closet in declarative prayer. My son had jumped off of something and hurt himself (Disclaimer: He was adequately supervised. He is just an intense and very fast child). I was tending to him, and when he settled down, I could hear Conley in the closet speaking the truth of Scripture and declaring him “healed.” She came out and said, “Mom, you don’t have to worry about him. The Bible said God can heal and so he’s ok.”

In another situation, she had heard a story on the radio about a veteran who could not find employment. She asked my husband to pray with her in the truck. She spoke the truth of Scripture over him and a few weeks later told me, “Mom, we don’t have to worry about that man from the radio station. God hears our prayers and he will handle it.” I could share numerous other stories where I have been reminded of how simple Scripture really is when it comes to truth.

Children are able to view the truth of Scripture in a way that is less jaded and distorted when compared to adults. I have been so overwhelmed with God’s generosity as he reveals his strength and truth through my own adult-sized pride. As I have taken lessons from my 5-year-old, it has shaped my prayer life. I now declare God’s specific scriptural truths over my family in the same way as my child. I find peace and freedom in discovering and declaring those truths over my family each day.

I encourage you to seek out scriptural truths to refute the lies you have led yourself to believe, and end the battles you thought you had to fight. Pray from a declarative position as I was so humbly taught by my child. I hereby give you permission to act like a child.

This post was written by Lindsey Wesley. To read more about her, click here.

Fruitfulness, God's Presence, Prayer, Scripture

How to Pray BEFORE the Meltdown

May 2, 2016April 23, 2016by hcfwomenLeave a Comment

I don’t know about you, but taking care of sick kids wears on me after a while. My girls took turns being sick for two weeks and not long afterward my eldest ran fever for 7 days straight. Too sick to go to school but not sick enough to stay in bed. Irritable kids. Irritable mom. Flesh struggling against flesh patterns. Lots of triggered pain. You get the picture.

But my heart is my responsibility.

How do I work through this, especially after I’ve completely lost my composure?Declarative Prayer.

We steer where we stare. Declarative prayer gives me a vehicle with which I can shift my focus back on God and what He says is true. Declarative prayers aren’t speaking magic incantations or denying the difficulties I face.

They help me recognizing that even in the midst of this circumstance, God gets the last word.

Let’s go back to my quasi-meltdown. Afterward, I settled down and thought. Once I verbally processed what I was feeling, I identified the lie I believed: abandonment. It went something like this, “I am alone. No one wants to help me and it’s up to me to make everything come together. Of course, I will fail and it’ll all be my fault.”

Cheerful, huh?

Once I said it out loud I could see the ridiculousness of it all. This lie was in direct opposition to a promise God spoke to my heart a few years back. He said, “Jodi, I’m going to help you.”

That’s it. When I thought about His promise, it wasn’t difficult to enter into declarative prayer. Here’s an example:

“Lord, thank You for helping me through this tough time. You are able to keep me from falling and present me without fault (Jude 24). I’ve had a hard time, but You have not given me a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7). Because of the finished work of the cross I have peace with God (Colossians 1:20) and I can do all things through Christ (Philippians 4:13). So instead of relying on my old coping mechanisms to get me through today, I am going to lean into who I am in Christ and trust You. I am not responsible for making everything work today. Instead of pre-judging others, I will ask for help from the appropriate people and move forward from there. Thank You for helping me walk in reality instead of vain imaginations.”

Bam.

I’ve never spent time praying this way when His peace didn’t give me clarity to take the next step. And friends, honestly that’s what most of us need. We couldn’t handle detailed marching orders for the rest of our life. He’s going to show us the next step. Then we get to choose whether or not we’re going to obey.

When you realize you’re rapidly approaching a pain cycle, I want you to remember that you are not powerless. You can use declarative prayer to release the power of God into your heart, your mind and your response. Go for it!

This post was written by Jodi LaFrance. To read more about her, click here.

Friendship

Comparison in Relationships

April 25, 2016September 5, 2016by hcfwomen1 Comment

Comparison. It’s a disgusting cycle of endless “crouch-down moments” or many days of standing tall, feeling like a million bucks. Constantly holding a measuring stick up within a situation or relationship continuously creates gaps in your life.

Whether you are seemingly greater than those around you—or often, feeling less than your surroundings, both types of gaps create separation between others and us.

Comparison keeps us from experiencing community. We fear rejection, so we don’t pursue potential friendships, or we withhold love and acceptance to those who are beyond our comfort zone, those we believe have not measured up.

When we separate ourselves from other people, we deny ourselves the opportunity to experience the kingdom of God within those people.

I neglected people for years because they weren’t like me, but the Lord convicted me for taking it upon myself to place a stamp value on those around me.

During this time the Lord spoke to me, “Natalie, when you reject them, you are rejecting me. You are missing out on an incredible opportunity to experience ME inside of them.”

Tears filled my eyes as I imagined countless people I have hurt by not seeing who God has made them to be as an individual. Not to mention the instances I rejected people and neglected to celebrate with others because their success, in my eyes, threatened my own lack of confidence.

Many times I forget God’s standards and approval are all I need. Not only has God already approved me, but He has approved of others as well.

From that day, my measuring stick came down, gaps were removed, and I started to see the Kingdom of God inside many, even those I once disqualified. I felt fully free to experience God in incredible ways through my relationships with others.

Colossians 3:15 says, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts since as members of one body you are called to peace and always be thankful.”

The truth is God has made us all different, but we are called to operate as a body. If you think about the body, there are different functioning parts that all have various but equally important roles.

Until we are at peace with who God has made us to be and how we were made to function, we will never be at peace with who He has made others to be and how he has made them to function. Our differences will become competing factors that work against us instead of complimenting factors that unify us.

Danny Silk once said it like this, “He didn’t give us gifts to separate us, but to assemble us together.”

In my own life, I have come to find out that competition breeds division, whereas confidence invites celebration and appreciation. That, I believe, is the true key to having healthy relationships.

This post was written by Natalie Hallford.

Friendship

Chemically Dependent

April 18, 2016April 18, 2016by hcfwomenLeave a Comment

The science of neuroplasticity: that’s what we all think of when we hear the word friendship, right? I mean, all I’m looking for in a friend is the right combination of elements to come together for good social chemistry…
Wait, this is not an eHarmony commercial. We are talking about friendships–not soul mates, significant others, or whatever your relational term-of-the-day happens to be. But the science is real, my friends, and applies to more than just the dating arena.

Traditionally, it was thought that the physical brain stopped developing in early childhood, but recent studies have shown that we can grow our brains throughout our lives! Neuroscientist Dr. Caroline Leaf points out that connections between the nerve cells change each time we have an experience. Our brain can actually rework its anatomy in a positive love direction or a toxic fear direction by what we choose to contemplate, and successive actions associated with those choices. So, this, my friends, is the science of neuroplasticity (Don’t you feel smart now? I challenge you to toss that phrase into your next conversation).

Let’s link the Bible with science for just a moment and look at some Old Testament friendships. I recently read over the scenario of Job’s friends coming to sit with him while he suffered. After Satan takes his property, children and health, Job’s friend Eliphaz tells him: Of course you’ve done something sinful since you lost your children and your prosperity (Job 5:1-5)! Toxic thought delivery? Check! Job’s friend Bildad goes so far as to call him a windbag (Job 8:2) and tell him that God probably took his kids because they were sinful. Negativity? Yup!

Thankfully, these are not the only models of friendship we have to draw upon. Listen to the words of Jesus in John 15:15: “I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.” Literally, the smartest choice we can make for a friend is Jesus. Why? Because, unlike Job’s poorly-trained-in-grief-counseling buddies, Jesus offers these brain-altering words: “I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). When you have toxic thoughts such as “I can’t do this” or “I don’t have the energy to change”, reflect on Your Friend Jesus the Overcomer. His Truth will actually re-wire your brain.

The beauty of Jesus’ friendship with us is that our relationships with others are impacted, too. You knew this already, so let me give you some scientific tidbits to back that up. When we choose to help another person and show love in some way, our body produces two chemicals called dopamine and oxytocin to “melt down” toxic thought pathways (Perfect love casts out fear—1 Jn. 4:18). Conversely, if you want to harbor bitterness toward another or wallow in self-pity, remember that you are creating chemical “water” to expand deadly branches in your brain. Choosing forgiveness and repentance physiologically alters those branches to flourish and become healthy.

Jesus wants to be our true BFF and renew our minds! When we choose Him first, we can then love one another and truly experience supernatural spiritual chemistry.

This post was written by Shelli Jarvis. To read more about her, click here.

Friendship

Pressing Beyond Uncomfortable

April 11, 2016April 16, 2016by hcfwomenLeave a Comment

I got the chance to eat lunch with one of my dear friends a couple weeks ago, and I came away from that moment feeling so refreshed. We shared our hearts with each other, celebrated exciting news, talked about things that we’re struggling with, and encouraged one another – all in a matter of a couple hours. We were real with each other. And it was fellowship that my heart desperately needed.

In the last few years of working with college students, I have heard countless stories from young women about the struggle of trying to build life-giving friendships with other women. I can easily understand their pain, because I use to live in that cycle of desiring authentic relationships, but not allowing myself to push past the “uncomfortable” enough to build authentic relationships.

When I think back to why I was so hesitant to cultivate deep friendships, I realize that it wasn’t because I’m naturally an introvert (which is true), or even because of stories in my past that have too closely resembled scenes from “Mean Girls.” My problem was that I had no idea who I was in Christ, and therefore had no confidence that I was worthy or deserving of life-giving friendships.

As I began to learn who I was in Christ, my confidence grew. As my confidence grew, so did my ability to build friendships. When I choose to walk boldly in who I am in Christ, I am free to love people without fear of rejection. I’m free to hear God’s truth for my friends when they need it. I’m free to encourage instead of being worried about saying the wrong thing. I’m free to invest in relationships without the fear of being inadequate.

Brené Brown says it this way:

Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect.

We are enough today. We can confidently be who we were created to be, and we can build authentic, deep relationships right in the season and place God has us. Will it always be easy? Heck, no! But it’s so well worth it.

This post was written by Catherine Dunn. To read more about her, click here.