Change Your Thoughts. Change Your Life.

Change Your Thoughts. Change Your Life.

Editor’s note: For the month of September, our focus verse is Colossians 3:1-2. “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and our life is now hidden with Christ in God.” Our mindset is our responsibility and I pray that you will begin to focus on your life in Jesus.

It took a while for me to notice. But one day, I realized my thoughts were overwhelming me. There was a situation in my life that I was thinking about a lot. But at some point, my thoughts were no longer just thoughts. They had become little dictators. Dictators that were demanding my attention, directing my emotions, robbing my peace. And my sleep. I felt trapped and captive by what was going on in my mind.

Can you relate?

The Bible makes it clear that our thoughts don’t have to take us captive. We can take them captive!

“We demolish arguments and every high-minded thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God, taking every thought captive to obey Christ.” 1 Corinthians 10: 4b-5

It sounds simple enough, but how do we do it?

If you look at the Greek words for captive and obey, here is what you will find:

Captive – to ensnare, to make it a prisoner

Obey – submission to what is heard, obedience as the response to someone (Jesus) speaking.

So, we could say it like this…

We must take every thought as a prisoner and make it submit to what Jesus is saying.

When I thought about all the thoughts that had been overwhelming me, I realized I had been letting them run free in my mind. I also realized that almost all of them were not in agreement with what I knew Jesus was saying about my situation. What if I had made those thoughts prisoners as soon as I thought them? What if I submitted them to what the Word says to see if they would even agree? I believe if I had, I would have left space for the Sprit to speak His truth over my situation and to show me His perspective. Oh, how I needed His perspective.

If we want to change our life, we must start examining the thoughts we think. The problem isn’t the circumstance in your life. It’s what you THINK about that circumstance.

The problem isn’t your past, it’s what you THINK about your past.

The problem isn’t your relationships, it’s what you THINK about your relationships.

The problem isn’t your life, it’s what you THINK about your life.

When we change the thoughts we think, we change the life we live! Such a simple statement with such a powerful message.

So, how do we change our thoughts? Where to even start?

A great place would be to repent. It’s where I had to start. What I realized is that I had been exalting all my thoughts higher than the Word of God. I was letting my thoughts rule my life instead of the truth of His Word. Repentance was necessary. Repentance was essential. To repent just means to change your mind. To say, “I’ve been thinking this way about my situation but now I’m choosing to think the way Jesus thinks about it.” Repentance is a gift to us.

The other thing we can do is read our Bible and meditate on what we read. We read all other books, but the Bible reads us. The Word of God has the power to tell the difference between our soul and our spirit. Our thoughts cannot hide from its truth. Do you know why the Word is so powerful? It comes in, finds thoughts that are in opposition with it, and slays them and at the same time, searches for our wounds and heals them. Isn’t that a powerful truth? If we truly believed this to be true, we would make it a priority to read our Bible and meditate throughout the day on what it says.

I hope I have inspired you to begin examining the things you think about. If you have been feeling overwhelmed by your thoughts, I want to encourage you to remember that you are not alone. The Holy Spirit was given to you to be your helper. He can help you move your thought-life from overwhelming to life-giving if you’ll let Him.

Search me, O God, and know my heart.

Test me and know my anxious thoughts.

Point out anything in me that offends you,

and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

Amen.

We would like to thank Amber Curry for writing this blog post.

Building the House of God

Building the House of God

Editor’s note: For the month of August, our focus scripture can be found in 1 Corinthians 12:27 where it says that “Now you, collectively, are Christ’s body, and individually, you are members of it, each with his own special purpose and function.” AMP

Think of a home being built and all the people it takes to get it done right! This is just one of many times in life that more than one is needed to accomplish the tasks. We all have our talents that God has blessed us with or lead us to study and gain knowledge in.

Listed below are just some of the many it takes to build a home:

Excavator, Developer, Architect, Engineer, General Contractor, Construction Superintendent, Inspectors, Ironworker, Steelworker, Carpenter, Electrician, Plumber, Pipe Lifter, Masonry, Drywaller, Plastering Expert, Painter, Floor Layer, Tile Setter, Glass & Glazing Expert, Roofer, Heating & Air-Conditioning Expert, Designer and not to mention the Special Trade Contractors such as Artificial Turf Layers and Bowling Alley Installers. 

If even one is missing, the house could not be built properly. Same goes for God’s house. God sent his Son to this earth and when Jesus ascended to heaven, he left a helper – the Holy Spirit. Together the three are one known as the Holy Trinity! Through the Holy Spirit and as believers we are each blessed with our own unique gifts so we can be the best disciples!

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

All my life I’ve gone to church and known Jesus to be with me always. I just didn’t know what it meant to be his disciple. After I experienced a hardship as a late teen, I was ready to give God more, but wasn’t sure how. I soon became part of the praise and worship team which was right up my alley. A few years later I prayed for guidance to be God’s hands and feet in my community. Not long after, offers to join organizations all over town came pouring into my life—so I got involved. For years I’ve served with a happy heart and have seen pieces of God’s fruits for myself and others. 

And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Ephesians 1:22

After attending our church, which I know to be a bible teaching, holy spirit moving church, opportunity arose to learn more about the Holy Spirit and I have now connected and grown in my spiritual gifts. I’ve also been helped by so many disciples in my journey with God. The power of unity in the body of Christ should not be overlooked. It is important to be sure you are connected to a church family so you can learn and grow in your relationship with Christ.

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing your selves to be my disciples.” John 15: 5, 7-8

 We are here to use our gifts for each other as the body of Christ. Don’t put it off—God is calling you now and how much more blessed you will be so you can also bless those around you. That is how God intended us to experience His joy, peace, and love. We can experience heaven on earth. It is here for the taking. We just need to surrender to Christ Jesus daily and he will provide!

I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparable great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.” Ephesians 1:18-21

We would like to thank Wendy Baker for writing this blog post.

When JOY is Missing

When JOY is Missing

Editor’s note: John 15:13 says that “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” For the month of July, each blog post will be centered around this verse and finding the JOY in a life of Christ.

“I’ve got the JOY, JOY, JOY, JOY down in my heart! Down in my heart to stay!!!” Do you remember singing that song as a child? For most of my life, I’ve been full of JOY down in my heart. But if I can be honest and vulnerable, there have been many times that I didn’t feel so joyful. Maybe you are in a season of JOY-LESS living right now! What can you do to get some JOY back in your life? 

1.Refocusing on God is the first step to rediscovering your joy.

Joy is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, who resides in the heart of the believer, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.”  (Galatians 5:22 ESV).  Since God is the author of all these good things, when one becomes a Christian, and is united to God through faith in Jesus, the Holy Spirit imparts these qualities to the believer.  Rediscovering your JOY is found by looking back and seeing the faithfulness of God. One of the beautiful things about being middle aged is being able to look back on my life and seeing God’s faithfulness. He is a good, good Father and He will turn our hurts and disappointments to JOY through our lives if we allow Him to.

2. Doing God’s will increases our JOY

The writer of Third John experienced the joy of ministry, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth” (3 John 1:4 ESV).  When we follow the will of God and walk in obedience to His ways, I believe that He will give us JOY in our hearts! 

3. Being intentional about seeking and finding JOY:  

A couple of years ago, my “word of the year” was JOY. I wanted to be intentional about recognizing JOY in all areas of my life.Throughout the year, I looked for JOY signs or scriptures. I underlined them in my Bible and placed JOY signs around my home and in my office. I wanted to seek out and recognize true joy. Was it a year of pure happiness? Did nothing bad ever happen to me? Of course not. I’m sure I had my fair share of disappointments and things didn’t always go as planned, but when you surround yourself with reminders of JOY, you can be confident in the goodness of God. 

4. Ask God to give you JOY within (fruit of the spirit)

Wherever people know, love, and worship God, His love instills a joy, that only He can give, into the hearts of His worshipers. Psalm 51:12 “Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you!”

This means that even when we are in the midst of a situation that legitimately brings us sorrow, our inner joy is never taken away.  The very core of our being can still rejoice in the fact that we are forgiven children of God who enjoy an intimate relationship with the Creator of the universe.  Our joy is strengthened when we remember that, no matter what the circumstances, God is with us and He is for us. 

The last verse of the song that I sang as a little girl, “I’ve got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart….and if the devil doesn’t like it, he can sit on a tack. ouch! Sit on a tack to stay…”

Satan wants to convince us that our circumstances mean God is not for us or He has abandoned us. That simply is not true. We can KNOW and BE CERTAIN that God’s faithfulness can bring us pure joy. Have faith that as you look back on your circumstances and see that God used your grief, your disease, your sadness, your disappointments…whatever it is you are walking through…to bring JOY into your life.

Have I experienced sadness over circumstances in my life? Absolutely. Have I been disappointed at times? Most definitely. But as I look back, I know that God is good and He wants to fill me with JOY. 

Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you with ALL JOY and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

We would like to thank Vickie Young for writing this blog post.

My Blooper Reel

My Blooper Reel

Editors note: During the month of April, we are focusing on “My Words Have Power”. Proverbs 18:21 says that “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Our words can speak life or death into those around us. Which will you choose?

As I began writing this blog post, I fully intended on sharing moments when my children reminded me of how awesome I was at teaching them to be kind… but I only wanted to do that out of pride. So, here’s my blooper reel. 

I remember the first time I picked Barrett up from school with a poor report about how he was speaking to others. His teacher informed me that he had called someone an idiot. I instantly felt my cheeks get hot out of embarrassment. Not even seconds later, I started going through the different sources that he could have heard that word from. Surely, it wasn’t learned at home!

Mind you, he had just loaded up in the car with me as I picked him up from school. We were headed through an intersection when someone pulled out in front of me. Out from my mouth, in a rather elevated tone, I said, “My gosh, idiot” as I slammed on my brakes. If you’re wondering whether that humble pie tasted just as terrible as the first helping that I ate moments earlier, the answer is yes. 

I often think about the importance of teachable moments in our home, but I’m better at noticing them when it stems from my children’s behavior. This one was clearly a heart issue that I was ingraining into my children and didn’t even realize it until HE was called out for speaking that way at school. That was a tough moment of truth for me.

I knew, before I ever had my own children, that I would have a major responsibility on my hands to raise them up to speak kindness and be respectful to the people they would encounter. Little did I know, I would fall hard on my face once I was actually in the motherhood role.

Now, I can usually find my way out of being wrong if I try hard enough. Can’t we all? I think God had to make this blatantly obvious that I couldn’t blame Toy Story 2 for teaching my child to say the word idiot in the right context, although, we don’t watch that anymore either. I did that. I taught him how to act out in anger and spread hate toward someone who couldn’t even hear me, thank goodness, in traffic. 

Here is something that I learned through the situation. I have a responsibility in my home… and my car to teach my boys, who will grow up to be men, that we can spread life in situations where our human flesh prefers death. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of yours mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”  Little people are all ears and we, as their parents, have the opportunity to expose them to the world through the lens of Christ rather than the lens of a stressed out mom who forgot to check in with Jesus before speaking death over the “idiot” who pulled out in front of her.

The Bible puts it very clearly in Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”

I had a responsibility to use my words wisely LONG before he could repeat what I spoke. I could have ignored the fact that I was the one who planted that seed in my 2 year old’s heart, or I could admit that my tongue is a powerful tool that God intends for us to use to spread life in ALL circumstances, not just the ones that loving is easy. It’s easy to correct your children when they forget to use their manners. It is much more difficult to turn around and realize that maybe they aren’t using their manners because we aren’t teaching them from the way that we speak. Or maybe I’m alone in this. Either way, the driver wasn’t the problem. How I responded to them was, and I can use those everyday mishaps as an opportunity to teach my children how to extend grace or I can use them to demonstrate what it looks like to spread ignorant toxicity. That’s my choice that leads to teaching them how to make their choice later on. Deep breath. We can do this. We can participate in raising up a generation who spreads life. Proverbs 15:1 says, “ A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”

Let’s be in the business of turning wrath away, starting in our own home!

We would like to thank Bonnie Kate Olson for writing this post.

The Power of the Tongue

The Power of the Tongue

Editors note: During the month of April, we are focusing on “My Words Have Power”. Proverbs 18:21 says that “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Our words can speak life or death into those around us. Which will you choose?

Do you remember that little jingle that was exchanged on the playground growing up?  I remember singing it as a child after somebody uttered some string of words that hurt me… it went like this: 

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”.  

Just now, as I typed that phrase, I said aloud to myself: ‘Whoever made that silly thing up knew nothing of the human spirit’. I’ll be honest: I prefer a broken bone from a stick or stone over the spiritual destruction of words any day.  

I can think back on times in my life when my spirit was crushed. The kind of crushing that inevitably left painfully salient memories.  The most horrendous pain was caused by something someone said to me.  Words that cut so deep, creating wounds only Jesus and time could heal. 

You see, we carry a weapon of mass destruction around in our mouths.  But the same tongue that has the power to speak death, can also speak life.  Our words can build others up, or they can tear them down. (Proverbs 18:21)

When I was asked to contribute to the blog on this subject, my mind raced as I began to pray about and brainstorm on what angle to take.  I eventually settled on focusing on where we spend most of our waking hours: the workplace. 

As an educator, in 8 short hours, I encounter over 150 souls that I directly influence, and who influence me.  My eyes widened and my mouth went a bit dry as I typed that sentence…it can be a daunting thought if I’m not confident that my words are life giving.  I’m certain that your circle of influence is just as large, if not larger than mine.  The sheer magnitude of the responsibility we have every single day to pour life into those around us is staggering.  Unfortunately, I’m not perfect and I’m willing to bet you’re not either.

Even still, with all my imperfections and shortcomings, I’d like to give some practical biblical advice on how we can affect those around us positively.  And also how we can heal and help those we love to heal from the wounds that others’ words so often produce. 

How to keep a gentle tongue

Proverbs 18:21 is possibly the most cited verse when it comes to the power of the tongue.  While it describes the life and death our words can evoke, it does not tell us HOW to keep a gentle tongue.  Paul tells us how though: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt .”(Colossians 4:6).  James also gave us a nugget of gold when he said “But everyone must be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” (James 1:19).  Peter says to lead “with gentleness and reverence” (I Peter 3:15).

These directives on keeping a gentle tongue are so important in every interaction, especially in the workplace.  Have you ever been in a situation at work where a superior used unkind words, derogatory words, words of condescension or even sarcasm to get their point across to you? I have.  And when this happens to me, a fire is not put under me to work harder.  In fact, the opposite happens.  I feel worthless, I feel bogged down by the words of the enemy seeping through my veins telling me that I do not have what it takes. I am completely deflated in those moments.  The intention behind the exchange may have been to get me to work harder, work better, be more productive… but, the opposite happens in those conditions.  People thrive when they feel encouraged, seen, heard, and empowered. People thrive when they feel supported. Let us not diminish the power of encouraging words in the workplace.  Words of encouragement light the fire that get our limbs moving and our creative juices flowing.  

Jesus was the perfect example of gentleness.  “All spoke well of Him and were amazed at the gracious words that were coming from His mouth” (Luke 4:22).  When we stay closer to Jesus, keep our eyes on Him, and begin each exchange with a grateful heart, I truly believe it’s nearly impossible to use words that are not gentle. The two are mutually exclusive. When we stay close to our Savior, He speaks through us, and His words are always gentle. 

How to heal after words of death have been spoken over you:

For true healing, I think it’s important that we understand what it takes for someone to use words in a hurtful way.  It was said so eloquently in our Among Friends Podcast by one of our own, Macy Williams.  She said, “Hurt people hurt people”. Simple, yet so profound. When you are hurt by the words from another’s tongue, having an understanding that those words derive from a place of pain in their own experience takes the pressure off you completely.  You then understand that you have NOT deserved their hurtful words.  It helps you to realize that their words likely have absolutely nothing to do with you at all and more to do with what they’re going through.  So, when we’re hurt by another’s words: let’s pray for that person.  Pray that God will guide them gently through whatever pain they’re experiencing.  When we team up with Jesus in prayer to ask for healing for the person spewing hurtful words, our hearts begin to heal in a real way.  

Kind words are like honey; sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.Proverbs 15:28

May we all be the deliverer and recipient of words like honey.  As you start your day tomorrow and all the days to follow, have a grateful heart tied close to your Lord and Savior.  Pray for those that you know are hurting and have the potential to use their tongues to destroy, just as we all need prayer when we are in pain. And stay in constant prayer over your own tongue.  Just as the Psalmist prayed, let’s also pray: “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.” (Psalm 141:3)

We would like to thank Elizabeth Loeffler for writing this post.

My Words Have Power

My Words Have Power

Editors note: During the month of April, we are focusing on “My Words Have Power”. Proverbs 18:21 says that “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Our words can speak life or death into those around us. Which will you choose?

After Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt, they wandered in the desert for 40 years. God was ready to settle His people in the land which He had promised them. But first, God had Moses send an appointed leader from each of the twelve tribes of Israel into the land of Canaan and report back to Moses what they saw there. Moses told the twelve scouts to see what the land was like, if it was fertile or unproductive. He sent them to see if cities were fortified or mere encampments. He told them to see if the people who live there were strong or weak, few or many. Lastly, they were told to bring back some fruit from the land. You can read all about this in more detail in Numbers 13:1-26.

Let’s pick up in Numbers 13:27-32:

27“They reported to Moses: “We went into the land where you sent us. Indeed it is flowing with milk and honey, and here is some of its fruit. 28However, the people living in the land are strong, and the cities are large and fortified. We also saw the descendants of Anak there. 29The Amalekites live in the hill country; and the Canaanites live by the sea and along the Jordan.” 30Then Caleb quieted the people in the presence of Moses and said, “Let’s go up now and take possession of the land because we can certainly conquer it!” 31But the men who had gone up with him responded, “We can’t attack the people because they are stronger than we are!” 32So they gave a negative report to the Israelites about the land they had scouted: “The land we passed through to explore is one that devours its inhabitants, and all the people we saw in it are men of great size.”

The report from the eyes and mouths of the 10 scouts surmised how they saw themselves—like mere grasshoppers. And that’s when it happened. Words of defeat were spoken over the Israelites, and the Israelite community accepted those words into their spirit. They believed the report from 10 of the 12 spies—that they had no chance on God’s green earth to ever battle and win against the giants who occupied this land which had been promised to them by God. And so began their defeatist mentality. 

Have you ever had that happen to you? Have you ever been told you would never amount to anything? Have you ever heard voices in your head that said you weren’t good enough? I have. 

One of my earliest memories of feeling like a worthless grasshopper was as a young girl of age 4 or 5. Standing next to me, someone screamed to whomever would listen, while looking right in my eyes, “Why was SHE ever born?!” Her words spoken over me planted feelings of my worthlessness deep into my spirit.

I also remember struggling in second grade trying desperately to improve my handwriting so I could graduate from using a pencil to using my first blue BIC ink pen. For whatever reason, my being a left-hander proved difficult for me to master writing legibly. As our handwriting exam papers were passed out to each student after being graded, I was singled out before the entire class for being the lone remaining user of a #2 pencil. Unknowingly, this teacher had spoken words of defeat into my spirit.  

At the hands of 10 scouts, words of fear, doubt, and discouragement were spoken over every heart in the Israelite community. They had forgotten God’s promise—that He would give this land to them. They believed those powerful words of fear that had been spoken to the extent that they were prepared to head back into slavery rather than take a step of faith and take hold of the Promised Land.

In what area of your life are YOU struggling? I believe we ALL need to stop believing the lies in our hearts and in our heads that others have spoken over us or that we have spoken to ourselves.

Recently I read a book entitled Breakthrough-Living a Life That Overflows by Rabbi Jason Sobel, who is a Messianic Jew. In speaking of the time we are in now, Rabbi Jason teaches that the year 2021 is the beginning of a new decade. He states this is the decade of breakthrough as well as the decade of strength, and the decade of the mouth. Rabbi Jason writes, “We can become mighty and strong, and since this is the decade of eighty, the decade of the mouth, we need to openly declare, “I am strong in the Lord and the strength of His might.  I will overcome internal and external oppositions by God’s power.”    

Eighty is the number of the yesod. In Hebrew, yesod means “foundation.” This is a foundational decade and a foundational season. God is establishing new foundations in our lives. We need to remember the natural and the spiritual go hand in hand. If we are going to break through natural limitations, there are new spiritual foundations we need to establish. Proverbs 10:25 says, “When the whirlwind passes, the wicked are no more, but the foundation [yesod] of the righteous is everlasting.”

When we view life through our natural eyes, we will remain stuck in Egypt. When we view life through Holy Spirit eyes, we will be empowered to speak breakthrough over our life. Just like the Israelites, each of us falls into one of these two groups: those whose sight leads to “breakthrough thinking,” or those whose sight leads to “stinking thinking.” Both affect what comes out of our mouths. There is a spiritual significance here—there is power in the mouth.

Paul tells us that God is for us (Rom.8:31).  If we want a breakthrough, we need to know who we are in God and develop an understanding of what He is capable of doing for us and through us. God wants you to excel in both your identity and also your destiny! Knowing you possess a royal identity and a priestly calling is a critical experience that leads to more significant breakthroughs in your life. 

Coming into agreement with God and His promises for our lives is an essential part of any breakthrough we experience. Remember:  Our words hold power!

Speak life over your situation.

Speak life over yourself, your spouse, your children, and your coworkers.  

Speak His Truths into every facet of your life and be watching for the breakthrough to come!   

We would like to thank Cristie Harrell for writing this blog post.

Husband of the Husbandless

Husband of the Husbandless

Editor’s Note: During the month of February, we are focusing on a Call to Femininity. The world often gives women a different idea of what womanhood should look like. Looking to the Word gives us clear direction and instruction on how to be the woman God designed us to be. 

As I walk into the store, I am surprised by the massive Valentine’s displays. I just got all of my Christmas
decor put up, and already Valentine’s themes appear everywhere I look. But as I look at my calendar, I
realize it IS only a month away. Wow! How quickly the seasons pass!


Although all my closest friends are married, Valentine’s Day is one of the only times of the year when I
am starkly reminded that I’m single. But talking about biblical femininity this month has me thinking
about my purpose and calling as a single woman of God. What is biblical femininity or biblical
womanhood, and how does it apply to the unmarried woman?

The first mention of “woman” in the Bible is Genesis 2:18: “The Lord God said, ‘it is not good for the
man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’”
Then Scripture goes on to give the account of
how God made Eve from Adam and for Adam. Eve was created to be a helper, a companion, and a mate
or wife for Adam. This was her purpose.


Women were created to be wives, helpers for their husband, and mothers to their children. This is a grand
and noble calling, and I do believe this can be the primary occupation for some women, at least through a
season of their lives, but I wonder, “is this the only plan and purpose for women?” I think of the Proverbs
31 woman, and I am awed by her amazing character and accomplishments, but to be honest, I am not
really inspired. Actually I think, “Been there and bombed that!” So now what? As a single woman, do I
just live out the rest of my days the best I can, never really having fulfilled my purpose? Or is there a plan
B?


As I continue reading in Genesis, I’m so glad the story of mankind didn’t end in Genesis 3. The rest of the
Bible is the story of God’s plan of redemption. It is the story of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and his twelve
sons or the twelve tribes of Israel. In it the nation of Israel becomes the smaller story through which the
larger story of mankind’s redemption is told. And right there in the middle of that story, God speaks
through the words of Isaiah to the nation of Israel – and to me!


For your Maker is your husband, The Lord of hosts is His name;
And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel;
He is called the God of the whole earth
(Isaiah 54:5).


Your Maker is your husband. These words resound in my heart!


I go back to Genesis and read again the story of creation, but this time I back up to Genesis 1:26: “Then
God said, ‘Let Us make mankind in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish
of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the livestock, and over all the earth, and over every
crawling thing that crawls on the earth.’ So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He
created him; male and female, He created them.”


We – both man and woman – were created by a triune, relational God who wants relationship with us.
Eve was created as a companion for Adam, but we were all created to be in relationship with God. And
we as redeemed believers are called the bride of Christ (Revelation 19:7 & Ephesians 5:32).


So even though I’m single, I can still live with purpose and within the purpose for which I was made. I
am the bride of Christ; I am His helper and His companion; my Maker is my husband!

A special thanks to Sheila Campbell for writing this blog post.

Loving Your Husband When It’s Not Easy

Loving Your Husband When It’s Not Easy

Editor’s Note: During the month of January, we will be reposting some of the top posts from 2020. I hope these encourage you. We have some great series planned for 2021. Stay tuned for all new posts coming in February!! The following post is a bit more vulnerable in nature. We’ve chosen to leave the author anonymous in order to protect those involved.  Many of us fight battles behind closed doors and are struggling to find  healing in those dark places.  We pray this will bring hope and encouragement if you’re walking through a similar situation.  As always, Harvest Christian Fellowship is here to help you.  Please reach out at anytime.  We are praying for you and we know God is always working things out for good for those who love Him and are called according to his purpose.  Much love, Julie Snellgrove (julie@harvestchristianfellowship.org)

I could’ve easily titled this blog, “Dealing With My Husband’s Porn Journey,” but I’ve realized, this isn’t only about him; it’s our journey. And yes, I’m going to talk about pornography today.  (Insert smile here)

I came into our marriage with trust issues because of choices I made in my past. I was a guarded woman, and fear had taken root in my heart about infidelity and lust. As newlyweds, there were a lot of career and family distractions, so it was easy to shove my pain and my hurt under the rug and pretend I didn’t know my husband had a problem with lust and pornography. I was scared to face it, honestly. I was scared to address it because I knew that meant pain for us both. 

One night, I’d had enough and called him out when I saw him looking at another woman.  We had come to a spot in our marriage I never dreamed we’d find ourselves in: broken.  I’m not sure I will ever forget the pain that I felt that night. Women are emotional beings, and we tend to attach our self-worth to the attention we get from our husbands. And when our husband’s attention is not 100% on us, we get jealous. We feel hurt, inadequate, less than, betrayed, violated, not good enough, ugly. To compensate, we put up walls, cover up, and aren’t as willing to have sex. Is anyone with me? I became very jealous and hyperaware. The enemy had a foothold at this point. 

The evening that I lost it was the night the Lord began healing us both. My husband didn’t change instantly, and I didn’t trust instantly. Things actually got worse before they got better. I had a really hard time trying to understand; I felt so betrayed by these fake images.  It took some hard conversations, some honest evaluations of where we were in our relationship, some boundaries, and a lot of counseling to get through.

The Lord graciously gave me insight to this specific addiction. Desire for the opposite sex in itself is not sinful; it’s what we do with those desires.  I’ve found that pain from old wounds is what drives a man to look at porn. It’s a deep-rooted problem. If this is a struggle your husband is dealing with, he probably hates that he does it. He probably prays for enough strength to not look at those images and asks other men for wisdom and prayer for healing. He probably lives his life in constant shame. Through this process, the Lord brought enough healing to my heart that allowed me to see that my husband was being honest and had a desire to change. I realized that I needed to find a way to help him.

Here are some things that really helped us:

  • HONESTY. One evening, we sat down and my husband allowed me to ask some really tough questions under the agreement that we wouldn’t get mad at each other. I would much rather know and have him be honest with me about where he is than keep it from me. Warning: these conversations are NOT fun. But there is something supernatural that happens in your marriage when you get to this place of honesty (Proverbs 12:22). 
  • BOUNDARIES. We put boundaries in place and made a commitment to stay within them. Boundaries bring safety and cultivate deeper intimacy (1 Corinthians 13:6-7). 
  • COUNSELING. We went to counseling together, and I unloaded a bunch of pain that I had been holding onto. I realized that my husband was wrong for looking at porn, but I was wrong in assuming wayyyyyyyyyyy too much because of pain I had not dealt with in my own life. I had to swallow my pride (Ephesians 4:32). 
  • FRIENDSHIP. I was completely vulnerable with a few friends and they supported me, listened to me, grabbed my hand and told me I was strong and brave and could do hard things. They spoke life into my bones (Proverbs 17:17). 
  • COMMUNICATION. This is the bottom line: had we talked about our struggles years before, they wouldn’t have bled into more than 5 years of marriage. It’s taken a long time to take off each brick that has been put around my heart as a result of lust and porn. Our marriage isn’t perfect; we aren’t perfect. But we have learned some very valuable lessons along the way, and one of the most important is to communicate with your spouse (Proverbs 16:24). 
  • LOVE. I learned to love him through the sin. Together, we didn’t accept or support the sin; we acknowledged the sin and agreed to love each other through the sin. It was hard to love him while I knew he was still struggling with looking at porn. But love conquers all. Even a porn addiction (1 Peter 4:8). 
  • PRAYER. I prayed like crazy over my husband and myself. I prayed for freedom from this addiction. I prayed for empathy to rush over me. I wasn’t perfect, and I had to humble myself and realize I am a sinner, too. I prayed for forgiveness and understanding (1 Peter 3:8-9). 
  • SCRIPTURE. I saturated myself in the Word of God and in His Truth. I did my best to take every evil thought about my husband captive and submit it to the Word of God (Philippians 4:6-9). 
  • SUBMISSION. I learned that my husband was created for intimacy and has a sex drive, and my role as a wife is to submit to him and his needs. If I’m not giving my husband what he needs, it may be a stumbling block. Sex with your husband is a weapon of unity against the enemy (1 Corinthians 7:3-4).

With confidence, I can say the Lord met us in these hard places, and with a lot of hard work, He delivered my husband from his sexual sin, and my heart was healed from jealousy and filled with trust. And I can confidently say that the Lord will meet you. He will walk with you through this valley (Psalm 23:4).  We had some very ugly fights and hard conversations, but the rewards are worth it. We now have an open and honest relationship with more intimacy than I ever thought possible.

Never be ashamed of seeking help; we ALL have issues. You may feel hopeless or feel like the pain is too deep. But know there is always hope! Our God is a God of healing and restoration. Please send an e-mail to the church office if you’d like more information on counseling. We are here for YOU!

What Christmas Means To Me

What Christmas Means To Me

Editor’s Note: We hope these stories warm your heart this season. Maybe you pick up a new tradition, or maybe these stories will be a fresh breath of air to your soul as you reminisce your childhood, or MAYBE they will serve as a reminder of the reason for the season. Whichever way they speak to you, we pray your hearts would be turned towards Him. We pray that Jesus would be your comfort, refuge and HOPE! Merry Christmas!

When I was contacted to write a blog about what Christmas means to me, about what Jesus means to me, I hesitated. I thought, “You are definitely asking the wrong person.” As that was the case, why did I say yes to writing this blog? I felt God whisper to my heart, “You need to know what Christmas means to you. You need to know what My Son means to you.” Since then, I have prayed about what I should write. I have asked God if there is something someone needs to hear. I felt as though God was leading me to be honest and to dig deep. Maybe someone reading this can relate to my journey.

I have not only loved the Christmas season but also struggled with it. I have many treasured memories of Christmas events and celebrations from my past. Christmas was often a time to see my extended family, to decorate our home, to drive around town enchanted by the glittering lights, to sing Christmas carols, to join in merriment with others, and to give. On the other hand, I have been told I should not celebrate Christmas because of its roots in pagan traditions. I have spent the days leading up to Christmas stressed and in tears because I did not have enough money to buy gifts for all the different events that I felt obligated to attend. I have tried to give my best during the Christmas season, only to worry about how it was not good enough.  I have thought, “Why should I give to people who have so much and neglect the people who have so little?” I have lamented how the world has stripped Christ out of Christmas.

The truth is that I wrestled with whether or not I should even celebrate Christmas. I had convicting conversations with others, and I earnestly sought truth. Finally, I came to the conclusion that celebrating Christmas allows me to share the hope I have in Jesus. His birth was a turning point for the entire world. It had been prophesied for centuries. This birth was the ultimate gift from the Father. This birth brought Yeshua, the Wonderful Counselor, the Prince of Peace. This birth brought light to our dark world of sin and grief. This birth brought hope. My internal struggle helped me realize that Christmas is a time to celebrate the greatest gift to mankind – the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Jesus means more than I can fathom. He has freed my soul from the shackles of my sin. Without Jesus, I was lost and hurting. I chose to believe in Jesus when I was eleven years old, and I chose to be buried with Him in baptism when I was twelve. However, it was not until recently that I fully understood what Jesus means to me. He is life to my death. He comforts me, guides me, and fills my soul. Without Him, I am empty and heartbroken. He is the One who gives me hope and a future. He sustains me through difficult seasons, and He never forsakes me. When I call out to Him in my agony, He answers with His peace. He paid the ultimate price for sin so that all those who believe in Him could have a home with Him in heaven. This means that I do not have to fear death. I do not have to fear what may happen to me in this world.

Because of Jesus, I have something to give during the Christmas season and throughout the year. I may look at what I have to offer and think, “How is this going to make a difference?” It doesn’t matter how large or small or what form my offering may take. What matters is that I was willing and joyful in my giving. I need to have faith that He will take what I have and multiply it.  Am I willing to give what He asks of me?

Let your heart be filled with joy this Christmas season. Rest in knowing that Jesus came to this world of sinners to bring hope and peace. This year has brought heartache, trials, fear and disappointment. As believers, we can navigate all of these things knowing that Jesus is there through it all. He loves us, and He was born to save us.

“Do not let your heart be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in Me” (John 14:1).

We would like to thank Julia Franklin for writing this blog!

Contentment in the Workplace

Contentment in the Workplace

Editor’s Note: It can be difficult to walk through a long season, but God is our comforter. He is our strength, he is our provider, our deliverer, our refuge, our very present help in time of need. God is with us and is for us. He is not far away. This month, we are going to talk about contentment. Contentment in the valleys, and contentment on the mountains. God is near in both places.

Working in education is completely new this school year. I’ll bet you can say the same about your workplace, too, whether you work at the bank, at Walmart, or in medicine. Even though I’ve worked at my job in the same school for the past 22 years, teaching this year has come with some challenges that I’ve never faced before. Will it be possible for us to learn to find contentment in our workplaces, even in times like these?

In 22 years, I’ve found a good deal of enjoyment in my vocation; otherwise, why would I still be at the same place? I’ll admit, though, that I’ve gone through days or weeks of doldrums, discouragement, and discontent, too.  Most of the time, looking back, the deciding factor between the good days and the bad days has more to do with my attitude or disposition than with any circumstance or challenge in my job.

How do you see your workplace? To maintain contentment there, it has to be more than a paycheck: it needs to be a mission and a calling. Colossians 3:23 tells me, “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.”  When I consider that I’m working for Him, my work becomes a calling and a ministry, not just a job. As a teacher, the last line on my contract says, “Other duties as assigned.” To me this means that there will be divine appointments taking place throughout the day, and I’m in that school to meet needs that may have nothing whatsoever to do with teaching kids to read or write. I might get to pray for a co-worker, comfort a student who has had a loss, encourage another who is struggling, or visit with a parent who is worried about her child. What kinds of divine appointments do you see at your workplace on a daily or weekly basis?

Thomas Merton wrote, “Before the Lord wills me to do anything, He first of all wills me to ‘be.’ What I do must depend on what I am.” God’s Word has some great advice about contentment in all parts of our lives. Philippians 4:11 says, “I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am in.”  If Paul can learn to be content in his work, we can learn the same in ours. He continues in verse 13, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Let’s look at some practical ways that we can not only be content ourselves but create an atmosphere of peace and contentment within our places of employment and among our colleagues.

The words we speak are creative. They are either creating a positive or negative environment around us. In John 6:43, Jesus tells people, “Do not grumble among yourselves,” and Philippians 2:14 advises us to “do all things without grumbling or disputing.” A workplace where employees grumble and complain about the job, about co-workers, or about the boss is going to be stirred up with negativity. Our words feed the spirit of the places we work, and since we spend the majority of our time there, we are submerging ourselves in peace or stress with every word we speak. If we have to complain to someone, Psalm 142:2 directs us: “I pour out my complaint before Him.” Taking our frustrations and aggravations to Jesus will prevent us from muddying the atmosphere at work with negative talk.

Working with other people can be stressful. Colleagues or customers will rub us the wrong way at times. The stress in people’s lives now magnifies trouble. Paul tells us in Ephesians to “be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (4:32). If we can make the decision to forgive before we have ever been offended, we can walk in peace, no matter what happens. Romans 12:18 in The Passion Translation says, “Do your best to live as everybody’s friend.” Sometimes in workplaces, there can be a lot of drama. The lunchroom or the lounge can turn into gossip-central, if we are not careful. Living as everyone’s friend means that we will allow the Holy Spirit to guard our mouths and let love cover over other people’s faults.

In the workplace, everyone has his or her own idea of what is important. We all want to be recognized for our contributions, but Philippians 2:3-4 tells us, “Don’t allow self-promotion to hide in your hearts, but in authentic humility put others first and view others as more important than yourselves.  Abandon every display of selfishness. Possess a greater concern for what matters to others instead of your own interests.” I’ve found that when our staff works as a team, covering each other and helping each other, rather than staking out our own territory, there is much less friction.

Finally, communication is so important for a peaceful workplace. Part of my job this year is to take the Pre-K students their breakfasts every morning. My principal asked me to do this about the second or third day of school. I began going in at 7:30 and getting breakfasts for the students as they came in. I noticed that the cafeteria director seemed more and more annoyed with me every day. Finally, about a week ago, I asked her if there was anything I could do to make things easier on them. She said, “Well, it’s just that I was told that no one would be coming in to get the breakfasts for the Pre-K until 7:45.” I had never been told that before! So, we made a deal right then that I would not come in anymore until 7:45 to get the breakfasts. Sounds like a simple thing, but miscommunication, or lack of communication, was compounding her stress level, and it was a simple fix! If things don’t seem right, ask if there is any way that you can help or make things easier. Opening up communication will prevent so many misunderstandings and save some hurt feelings.

The workplace is where we can let our light shine. If we can walk into our jobs filled with the Holy Spirit, ready to lay our lives down for our co-workers, and prepared to serve people as if we are directly serving God, what a difference it will make in our places of employment. What a witness to the world around us that we can really walk in peace in the midst of chaos.

We would like to thank Sheri Warren for contributing this post!