Women's Ministry

7 Must-Wins: Forgiveness

October 2, 2015September 5, 2016by hcfwomen1 Comment

We are continuing our fall blog series, “7 Must-Wins.” With a uniquely personal twist toward us as women, we will address seven topics that must be understood and walked out in order for us to have success in this life. If you missed Part 1 of this series, click here.

“I Forgive….”

That may be one of the hardest things to say some days, much less do. Many times it’s so hard to even say that one simple word out loud. I am currently reading the book Lead Like Jesus. The author states that the opposite of forgiveness is judgment. I think I must have re-read that statement 10 times…the opposite of forgiveness is JUDGMENT??!!! Makes sense if you think about it. Forgiveness is very difficult for most of us, but judgment, well that comes pretty naturally….When we feel wronged by another, whether intentional or not, it is so much easier to judge them, isn’t it? We do it in a moment; it’s sadly often my first response.

In that moment it feels good, it feels necessary, it feels justified. Someone pushes my ‘bad mom’ button, my ‘bad friend’ button, my ‘bad wife’ button…well, BOOM, you’re getting judged by me, in my head, all by myself! How do you like them apples?? Well, the problem with those apples, is that they are all ours. Ours to carry, ours to hold, and eventually as all apples do, they rot. We are left with that feeling…rotten apples.

I was reading a verse the other day that I have probably read a hundred times, but for some reason on this particular day, it popped out at me in a way it never has before.

Luke 23:34, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

Jesus said those words while hanging from a cross, after being beaten brutally beyond recognition by the very men he was now forgiving. He had been mocked, spat on, ridiculed. He said these words literally feeling the weight of all of humanity’s sin upon him. I can’t even imagine the pain He felt, the agony, the anguish. He knew what he was there to do. He knew why his Father had sent him. He knew his fate was to die so that we might live. He knew He was there to provide a way to forgiveness. He knew those men would have been forgiven, yet He chose to voice His forgiveness anyway. He chose to say those words out loud, not only for them to hear, but for any to hear.

Three incredibly powerful words…”Father, forgive them.”

I have never been beaten, I have never been publically mocked, I have never even been spat on (well, not intentionally anyway). I never have, and never will be, hung from a cross. I have felt embarrassed, I have felt less than, I have felt shame, I have felt unloved, I have felt forgotten, I have felt pain. But, to choose forgiveness, is to choose HIM!! It’s a choice. No one promised it would be easy or happen in a moment. And even to choose forgiveness doesn’t guarantee restoration in a relationship, but it does guarantee restoration in your heart.

So, when the choice is hard, and it seems impossible, I will remember those three words that changed my life forever.

”Father, forgive them.”

This post was written by Kristen Wright.

**For Part 3 of this series, click here.

Scripture

7 Must-Wins: Authority of God’s Word

September 18, 2015October 10, 2015by hcfwomen6 Comments

We are beginning a new fall blog series, “7 Must-Wins.” With a uniquely personal twist toward us as women, we will address seven topics that must be understood and walked out in order for us to have success in this life. As you read, ask the Holy Spirit to open the eyes of your heart to what He has to say. We hope you enjoy this series!

I am very good at memorizing things. This was helpful in college…although whether or not I retained any useful information for more than a week after testing is questionable! It also helped me while growing up in a church and a family that highly valued knowing the Scriptures. I memorized many verses, and even remembered where most of them were found in the Bible. This still helps me today, but I have also learned something else: knowing God’s Word in my head is different than knowing God’s Word in my heart. Knowing with my heart means that I actually take in what God says, and it makes a difference in the way I live my life.

In today’s culture, when everyone else is choosing the world’s way of doing things, choosing to live according to God’s Word means submitting to an authority higher than ourselves. These are not just words on a page. God’s Word is “living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword” (Hebrews 4:12). When God’s Spirit in us opens our eyes to the truth of His Word, it comes alive in our hearts, and we can begin to live out of it.

I used to think that to “walk in the Spirit” (Galatians 5:25) meant I had to force myself not to walk “in the flesh.” But all God is saying here is that as we align our hearts with God’s Spirit, we begin to see the fruit of who He is coming out of us. Because God is love. He is peace. He is joy. That does not come out of striving to “do better.” It comes out of surrendering myself to God and responding to His voice when He speaks to me.

Yes, this may mean correction sometimes. Paul advises Timothy, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man (or woman) of God may be competent, equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Sometimes when I read or hear God’s Word, I am convicted because I know my heart does not line up with God’s heart for me. So I have to repent, and choose to turn my heart to God’s truth. Yes, it is painful to admit that I am wrong. But it is so good to experience the peace of the Holy Spirit when I choose to agree with Him and follow His voice.

So what does this look like in reality? Honestly, it will be different for each person. It is not a formula. I tend to read the same section or chapter of Scripture for days at a time when God grabs my attention with something. For those of you who don’t like to read, you can easily find websites and mobile apps that will read the Bible to you in many different versions. Just start. Ask God to make your heart come alive to His Word. Why? Because this leads us to God’s heart.

This post was written by Heather Dillard. To read more about her, click here.

**For Part 2 of this series, click here.

Family

School Prep – Part 3 of 3: Starting Well

August 21, 2015by hcfwomenLeave a Comment

(This is the final installment of our School Prep series, encouraging our hearts to start the school year well…If you missed Part 1, click here. For Part 2, click here.)

Have you caught me lately in the school supply aisle, daydreaming obsessively with shining eyes and a radiant glow about me? I’ve actually heard rumors that there are people in the world who resent the interference of these amazing pens, folders, sticky notes, glue bottles and snazzy protractors into their lazy summer days! Can you believe that? To me, it is always a signal of “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.”

There are fresh starts ahead: new little chickadees to squeeze, minds to mold, books to share, jokes to crack, stories to write, giftings to empower. I wait with expectation to meet the band of disciples that Jesus is entrusting to my care for the next nine life-shaping months. In other words, it’s time for school!

I love the sign that hangs outside my door. It says, “When you enter this classroom, you are scientists. You are authors. You are explorers. You are artists. You are important. You are loved. You are the reason we are here!” It’s a continual reminder of God’s mighty purposes in this generation that we are partnering together to raise up in His kingdom. What a privilege!

This 4^th grade “Learning Zone” just happens to be one of my little corners of the world to practice the Great Commission. (We each have our own!) But I like to take it personally when Jesus said to go into all the world, make disciples, and TEACH them.

And yes, I get to do it all with brand spanking new pencils, notebooks, markers, scissors, planners, index cards…highlighters…Sharpies…..paper clips……..

This post was written by Jill Brown. To read more about her, click here.

Family

School Prep – Part 2 of 3: Leading Our Children to Jesus

August 17, 2015by hcfwomen1 Comment

(This is a continuation of our special series about preparing our hearts for starting well in the upcoming school year. If you missed Part 1, you can read it by clicking here.)

Salvation is really the foundation we want our kids to build on as we send them into school. As my oldest son says…if we don’t built on that, we’ll build on something else.
So whether your child is entering Kinder or is a Senior this year…let’s remind them of who they’ve given their life to. ~ Julie

I’m so happy to write this post because my 6-yr-old daughter asked Jesus to be her Savior. She wants to follow Him. To trust Him and walk with Him throughout her life. For a Christian, this is the biggest eternal decision we can make.

My goal in telling you this story is to share what happened in our conversation, and hopefully give you some encouragement in how to walk with your children through the plan of salvation. This is not an exhaustive explanation—just real, authentic living.

We were reading about Saul and his experience with Jesus as he was on his way to persecute believers in Damascus. We read the particulars in her children’s Bible. After reading about Saul’s conversion Landry wanted to get baptized.

I asked her what it meant to be baptized; she said it meant that you trusted Jesus and wanted to follow him. Worked for me.

I wanted her to understand what sin is and why we even need a Savior. So we flipped back to read the 10 Commandments.

I explained that God is holy and perfect. He cannot allow sin into His presence. If we have broken even one of God’s laws, then we are unable to have a relationship with Him. We went through each one and I asked her if she had ever broken that commandment. It was hard for me to explain what idolatry, not keeping the Sabbath, and committing adultery were. If I did it over again I wouldn’t even mention those until she got older. She understood very well what dishonoring parents, stealing, lying and coveting were, though.

And she started to cry. And then I started to cry. Gracious.
She said, “Now I feel really, really bad.” (Memo: that’s called conviction and it is the work of the Holy Spirit. It is a GOOD thing!)

So we began to pray together. At first she wouldn’t say anything out loud, but I told her that the Bible tells us that if we believe in our heart that God raised Jesus from the dead and confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord, then we will be saved. So she started to repeat after me in a VERY loud voice. (Insert big grin.)

She understands that when she gets baptized she is showing everyone around her that she is a Christ-follower. She’s on the path to knowing Him and doing life with Him.

You have the unique privilege to share your faith with your child. I encourage you to take a moment today and share part of your testimony with your kids. It will mean a lot to them, especially as they grow up, to know why you follow Christ. Go ahead. Start the conversation.

This post was written by Jodi Leigh LaFrance. To read more about her, click here.

Family

School Prep – Part 1 of 3: Soaking Up Summer

August 13, 2015September 5, 2016by hcfwomen2 Comments

Dear Friends,
As summer comes to an end, we have an incredible opportunity to end summer well and to begin school well. I hope you enjoy these next 3 blogs as some of my dear friends talk about how they prepare their own hearts for the school year.
~ Julie S.

I realize I could be in the minority, but I am truly sad to realize summer is winding to an end. Don’t get me wrong, there have been plenty of days I’ve looked at my 4 kids and thought to myself, where are you, August?? My kids have recently started to look at me and I can see it in their eyes….they know my bag of summer tricks is almost empty! Perhaps boredom has set in—and let’s face it, TV time which was very limited in June, has suddenly become a very acceptable ‘activity’!

“Oh your playing basketball on the Xbox? That totally counts as physical movement! You’re right, your fingers do look tired!”
“It’s too hot outside? I agree, let’s see what on Netflix, I’m sure we can find something educational! Wipe out? Perfect!”
But don’t you worry kids, Mom’s got a new bag of tricks for these lasts few weeks!!!!

You see, the thing I love the most about summer, is the white space it provides. Let me explain. White space is free time, it’s no schedule, no agenda, no plan really. Sure, we have things we are going to accomplish each day, but it’s not FULL of activities! White space allows us to be us. It is less quantity and more quality.

So, I am vowing to soak up the last bits of summer! Before homework hits, Tuesday folders, theme dress-up days at school (which I totally forgot about until 7:30 AM)…I will soak up summer.
Before packing lunches, trying not to be tardy, being tardy, and arguing with the girls over the perfect pair of shoes to wear, only to find the perfect pair, then discover you are missing the mate…I will soak up summer.
Before after school activities, church activities, and having to schedule an activity to not have an activity…I will soak up summer!

Soaking up summer means more US time! More family movie nights, more American Ninja warrior courses in the backyard, more late night ice cream runs because we can, more pool days with friends, a couple more sleepovers, one last getaway if we can squeeze one in, more pizza for breakfast (because it’s a bit more acceptable in the summer for some reason), more lazy mornings with nowhere to be….

We live the majority of our life on a schedule; sometimes the best place to be is nowhere at all…

I will soak up SUMMER!!!

This post was written by Kristen Wright.

Fruitfulness

The Survivor Tree

August 3, 2015by hcfwomenLeave a Comment

Recently, my family and I visited the OKC bombing memorial while visiting family, just like we have done several times before. This time was a little different as God began to speak to me surrounding the “Survivor Tree” that sits on the property of the memorial. This tree started out as just a scrawny parking lot tree that was almost destroyed when the federal building was being built. This beautiful tree survived and continued to thrive, doing its job of shading cars.

In 1995, when the tragic bombing occurred and killed so many people, somehow this tree survived. Although it was damaged and required some healing, miraculously, this tree again rose up and began to thrive. The inscription surrounding the tree today says, “The spirit of this city and this nation will not be defeated; our deeply rooted faith sustains us.” As I reflected on this tree and the depth of what it represents, it reminds me of the unshakeable God that we serve. May my roots be planted deeply in the love of Christ. No matter what happens in this world around me, I know that I have an unshakeable God that protects and sustains me.

“Blessed is the man who believes in, trusts in, and relies on the Lord, and whose hope and confidence the Lord is. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters that spreads out its roots by the river; and it shall not see and fear when heat comes; but its leaf shall be green. It shall not be anxious and full of care in the year of drought, nor shall it cease yielding fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8

There are many things that are uncertain in everyday life, but there is one promise that I hold on to in times of trouble…blessed are those whose hope is in the Lord. Hope in anything else brings anxiety, worry, striving, an overwhelmed spirit, and a lack of joy.

What are you worried about today?
Are you fearful about your current circumstance?
Are you overwhelmed today?

I want to yield a fruitful life and thrive no matter the circumstance. I want the testimony of my life to be that I was firmly planted and deeply rooted in Christ, how about you? Let’s be fruitful, thriving women who radiate joy to the world! 🙂

This post was written by Amy Meek. To read more about her, click here.

Identity, Worship

The Truth About Worship

July 6, 2015July 6, 2015by hcfwomen1 Comment

When I was asked to write this post on worship, my first thoughts were, “I’m not a worship leader! I can think of many women more qualified to write this post than me.” Then came the gentle voice of Truth—a voice that told me that I did have something to say on worship. This patient Holy Spirit voice reminded me of my identity in Christ.

My worship comes from knowing the truth of who I am in Christ, and who God is in me. I am chosen by God (as are you) to declare the praises of him who called me out of darkness (1 Peter 2:9). Although I’ll probably never lead worship from behind a microphone and guitar, I have been called to worship in my everyday life, just by walking in who He create me to be.

I can clearly remember the season of my life where this revelation became cemented in my spirit. Very soon after Kirby and I married, he was diagnosed with stage 3B cancer. In that season, I ran headlong into this tension between the facts in our life and the truth of the Word of God in our life. Let me explain: the fact was that my husband had life-threatening cancer, but the Truth of the Word says that by his stripes, Kirby is healed. The fact was that I was a scared young bride who had no idea how to care for a husband with cancer. The Truth says that I have been given everything I need for life and godliness. I found that as I chose to embrace the facts—but believe the truth in my life—I began to position myself to follow the Holy Spirit guiding me through my everyday. And out of that place, worship began to flow naturally.

When worship flows out of the truth of who we are in Christ, it goes way beyond Sunday morning. True worship evolves into serving our life groups, loving our husbands, discipling our kids, being excellent in our careers, and so much more. When we choose to say yes to our identity in Christ, we can begin to truly engage in worship in our everyday.

I love the way the Message Bible puts it:
“Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That’s the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration.” John 4:24

Here’s what is at stake: If I allow my circumstance (facts) to determine whether or not I worship, then I won’t worship. My decisions will sway in whatever direction the wind blows. So let’s allow the Truth to win the day in our hearts, sister. Let’s choose to worship in Spirit and Truth – the truth of who God is and who we are through Christ. Let’s choose to engage.

This post was written by Catherine Dunn. To read more about her, click here.

Fruitfulness, Prayer

A Call To Fight

June 18, 2015by hcfwomenLeave a Comment

C.S. Lewis wrote, “Since it is so likely that children will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage. ”

Because of the influence of my sisters, I now mentally make Lord of the Rings analogies to life…and I’ve noticed I’ve been doing this more recently. To me, this and other stories like it give a picture of a time when people lived fully, loved deeply, and fought fiercely. And I believe that we are in a similar place today: a place where we need to allow ourselves to be fully present to those in our lives.

And there comes a time even now when we must fight. Sometimes it’s for ourselves and sometimes it’s for others. We fight for our families, we fight for our friends, we fight for our churches. This is not in the physical, it is in the spiritual, but it doesn’t make it any less important.
We fight to choose life every day.
We fight in worship.
We fight in prayer.
We fight in faith.

There is an account in the book of Exodus when the Israelites are fighting a battle, and their leader, Moses, is standing at the top of the hill. Whenever he lifts his hands up, they are winning, but when he lowers them, the enemy begins winning. Moses is very old at this time, and his hands grow tired. Two of the leaders have to hold up Moses’ hands on either side, and the victory is won.

Our prayers matter. In this, we are lending our strengths to others and speaking life over them. We are reminding them and ourselves of the truth of God’s Word and speaking it into our reality on earth. This does not mean that we let our hearts get hard; but we are willing to step out in courage–to step up and fight. We do this because our hearts are tender, we care about people, and we are willing to fight for them in prayer (and action, too). These are not scared prayers; these are declaring God’s Word over people and situations, and reminding our own hearts that God is bigger than anything we might face.

We do not fight as if we do not know who will win the battle. We fight because we know that our God is on our side, and he is victorious. He does not slumber or sleep, but will keep our hearts and lives safe–hidden in him. In the physical, this may or may not work out like we want. But we know that we can trust our God and press hard into Him no matter what.

This post was written by Heather Dillard. To read more about her, click here.

Love, Marriage

From Ordinary to Extraordinary – Part 2

May 29, 2015by hcfwomenLeave a Comment

Continuing from our previous post on marriage (if you have not read Part 1, click here)…

God’s story for us is one of pursuit and redemption, of lavish gifts and sacrificial love. This is not an epic love story—it’s The Epic Love Story.

God is love.

I love my husband. And over the last almost nine years, our relationship has grown from initial attraction and interest to deep love and affection; it has, at times, been both passionate and romantic, and other times, both ordinary and comfortable.

But Howell cannot be the lover of my soul. He cannot fill all my desires. He can’t complete me or satisfy me or fill me.

Only Jesus can do all of that.

And the moment I put that expectation on Howell: I fail, he fails, and our relationship stops working. Who can live up to that pressure? Who can trump Jesus?

It may sound paradoxical—let Jesus have all my desires, and my desire for Howell will be greater. Let Jesus fill me, and my love for Howell will be fuller. But that’s precisely how it works.

Today, we do have an extraordinary marriage not because of luck but because we’ve chosen to fight for our marriage—to choose forgiveness and to release expectations. Walking out forgiveness is even more countercultural than our expectations for love.

Deep down, here’s the battle. I love my husband, and I know he loves me. I know that he’s not spiteful or mean-spirited. He never intentionally hurts my feelings or disappoints me. But in the moment, I also feel hurt or disappointed. So the battle is determining what to choose—to choose what I know or to choose what I feel. And on paper, this sounds easy.

Obviously, I should choose what I know. But in the moment of your hurt feelings or disappointment, it’s a much more difficult decision. You think, if I choose to resolve this now, he won’t know how big of a deal it was. Or, if I choose to forgive, it’s just the same as saying it’s okay—and it’s not okay. Actually, the greatest lesson we could have learned (and I really believe this) was to stop saying “it’s okay” altogether. To, literally, stop using those words, and instead to say “I forgive you.”

Forgiveness brings freedom to your marriage. When you take the steps to surrender that issue—whether big or small—God comes in and does the supernatural work of healing. God comes in and restores love and grace in your heart toward your spouse. If the issue is small, the process of forgiveness is often easier, quicker. You remember why you love your spouse, you remember to expect the best in them, and you remember that you don’t want to keep record of wrongs. And so, you surrender and you release.

If the issue is great, sometimes that process takes more time. But don’t lose faith in His supernatural power; God is a God who heals—physically and emotionally. He can make you whole and free. He alone can fill your every desire. And He can bring extraordinary love to even the most ordinary marriages.

This post was written by Laura Brandenburg. To read more about her, click here.

Love, Marriage

From Ordinary to Extraordinary – Part 1

May 16, 2015by hcfwomen3 Comments

My husband Howell and I will be married 7 years this summer. I don’t want to gush, but in all sincerity, he is my greatest gift from God. We understand each other, even though our personalities are very different. I can’t remember the last time we had a fight, but it’s been weeks, maybe even months. I believe we have an extraordinary marriage, and when I really do think about it, I feel lucky.

But the Lord reminded me today that our journey to get here was paved with grace and forgiveness and hard work—not luck. During our two years of dating, we probably fought every day if not every other day—about something. Anything. And our first two or three years of marriage seemed only slightly better.

I was constantly offended; my feelings were always hurt. Generally, our arguments were based on this: I hoped/thought/expected that he would do/be/say X. And when he wasn’t doing/saying/being X, my feelings were deeply hurt. Clearly he didn’t love me because he if loved me, he would say/do/be X. And since he didn’t say/do/be X, I shouldn’t trust him, respect him, or love him either.

It was exhausting—for the both of us.

But today, our marriage is a source of joy and a safe place because we have chosen to persist in two major areas: expectations and forgiveness.

One of my issues—the creation of false expectations—was closely related to our culture’s view of love—our very false, very misplaced presentation and consumption of love: that love is romantic and fairytale, that love says your man will be transformed and will eventually—and at all times—meet your greatest desires with the right lines and big gestures.

So I had a lot of expectations about marriage and about Howell. Most of them were uncommunicated, too, so they became guesswork for him.

When we would argue, I would shut down, waiting for him to say the right line—the magical words. Read the script, Howell!

Of course, he didn’t know what his lines were supposed to be.

I remember one fight—a pretty serious one—where I left the house. I went to a park. I was hurting, and my instinct in our arguments was always to run. But in Hollywood, the boy always follows. He knows instinctively where she is. So I sat, and waited, and eventually (more angry than before), I went back home where my husband was also hurting and stressed out and unsure of what to do. I hadn’t given him the script then, either.

So maybe Hollywood and our culture are to blame, but the real ownership on my part comes from recognizing that my expectations were for Howell—not Jesus—to be my everything: to fill me, complete me, know me fully inside and out, comprehend my every thought and desire.

There is only one perfect man, and His name is Jesus. He made the greatest gesture any man could ever make for us; He became the ultimate example of self-sacrifice. Nothing trumps that. Nothing.

Stay tuned for Part 2 coming soon!

This post was written by Laura Brandenburg. To read more about her, click here.