Cultivating Your Child’s Heart for Worship

Editor’s Note: This summer we will post a new blog every other Thursday. In August, we will start a new series. I am praying that you would be refreshed and enjoy your SUMMER!

Today I woke up with a song on my heart called the Goodness of God. One of my favorite verses in this song is when it says, “with every breath that I am able I will sing of the goodness of God.”  So many of us wake up with a song on our hearts or we are singing His praises during the day.

We were created to worship God, and as parents, we are also responsible for helping cultivate a heart of worship in our children.

John 4:23 says, “Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshippers the Father seeks.” I want to be that kind of worshipper to my King, and I want that same experience for my children.  

Something that the Lord has been working on with my family and me over the past few weeks is setting a good foundation. I like to think of it has having good “roots.” I have this picture on my phone of a huge tree that my dad recently had to dig up. I showed this picture to my kids and we talked about all the roots that were on that tree and how that relates to our life. When we have God’s Word in us, then we will have roots that look just like that tree. We can stand tall and firm in Jesus because we are rooted in Him and our foundation is strong. Matthew 7:24 says, “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.” 

One of my jobs as a mom is to help lay that kind of foundation in my children. To become the true worshipper that John 4:23 talks about, we must position ourselves in a way that we can enter into His presence.

In our house, our children know that we listen to Christian music. It plays in our cars, in the background while doing chores around the house, and it plays when my children go to sleep. We talk about why we listen to this type of music. Galatians 6:7 says, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” If we are sowing good seeds into our hearts and minds, then we have prepared ourselves to receive the Spirit in order to become the true worshipper.  

As we worship in our home, I talk to my kids about why we close our eyes and lift our hands. I tell them that when I close my eyes, I like to picture Jesus sitting before me as I worship Him and thank Him for all He has done in our lives. I also show them that by lifting my hands, I am giving everything I have to Jesus because He has given me everything! I am surrendering to Him. 

One thing that I love about playing Christian music in our home and cars is that when my children worship at church, they already know most of the songs. We have cultivated our hearts and made them ready to receive the Spirit and all that God has to offer us. I believe this allows them to be able to close their eyes, lift their hands, and come into God’s presence because the songs are already written on their hearts.  

We were made to worship our God.

When we as parents prepare our children and their hearts to become a true worshipper, we are setting them up to receive the destiny God has for them.  

Start off by laying the foundation of why we worship. Show them that the songs we sing are scriptures in the Bible. My daughter loved being able to see this! Once you have laid the foundation, train them on how to worship and what it looks like in your home. Deuteronomy 11:18-19 says, “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

As we train our children to become true worshippers, we are allowing the Holy Spirit to lead, guide, and direct the path of our children. Every time they worship, the Holy Spirit is putting His thumbprint on their hearts and they learn to hear His voice and obey His commands. What an awesome thing to learn as a child!

We would like to thank Kaylene Vanbebber for writing this post!

Having Peace and Order in Our Homes

Editor’s Note: During the month of May, we will focus on learning to have peace in every aspect of our lives. Lean in and ask the Holy Spirit to cultivate this fruit in you. Let’s “seek peace and pursue it” (Psalm 34:14) together! 

“For God is not a God of disorder but of peace” (I Cor. 14:33). 

As women who influence our homes and our families, one major way we can usher in the peace of Christ is by rejecting disorder and embracing order and all that means.

Order involves submitting ourselves to the government of God and His priorities. So first—always first—seek His Kingdom. That means we welcome the presence of the Holy Spirit and the reign of Jesus in our daily lives. Give room to His Word and to connection with Him, whatever that looks like for you. 

Order means we follow the biblical model for how we honor one another in our relationships. We yield to the grace of God within us to treat each other according to the fruit of the Spirit. 

But order for me also equates to having a tidy home. I experience a greater sense of His rest and calm when my space is neat and orderly. I am more free to focus on the people, the experiences, the moments, and the memories we are making together. Our environments directly affect our moods and mindsets. I know my family members function better when our house is generally clean and picked up. Not perfect! But tidy. Organized with purpose. 

Let’s ask ourselves: How does my home represent the rule and dominion of my King today? Is it time to get rid of some clutter? For instance, how many toys and games do your kids really use? It might be time to create some breathing space. (Now, books are a different story…Don’t mess with my books!) Items that served us in one season may not serve us so well in another. When our boys were younger, we would grab a  plastic sack and pick a random number like 27. The challenge was to fill the bag with that many things to get rid of, either to throw away or donate. Other days, I would write several “Missions from Mom” on hidden slips of paper. Someone would draw a surprise mission, we’d set the timer, and run to help each other accomplish one specific task before the buzzer went off. (Timers are magic!)

Streamline the kids’ spaces especially. It is really difficult to expect a child to be responsible for his or her own room if there is just chaos and disaster lurking in the toy bin or behind the closet door on the best of days. You cannot just say, “Go clean your room,” without first training your child and practicing with them what that means, step by step. We added very basic shelves to our bedroom closets and sorted items into cheap bins — not real fancy, but functional. Trust me, the sticker labels of the Brown childhood were not Pinterest-worthy, but the boys knew where their things belonged.

One of the most important ways to keep order in your home is to expect every member to simply pick up and put away whatever they were using when they’re done. Don’t get out anything new until you’ve dealt with what you were already using. Just form a habit early. Sometimes it’s the little things in life! They end up really making a difference. 

We called it the “Do It Now” principle at our house. Put the crayons or scissors back where they go instead of leaving them out on the table “in case” you want them again later. Fold and put the laundry away when it’s fresh. Empty trash from the car each time you get out instead of letting it pile up first. Help each other clear the table and do dishes after every meal. These jobs usually take much less time than we guesstimate when we’re dreading them or procrastinating.

I’ve recently heard this concept referred to as “completing the cycle,” and it still challenges me. Finishing what I start is not always my strong suit, but it appeals to my desire for a well-ordered environment, both internally and externally. It’s always worth it when I will put in the extra effort required to bring a task to completion. Now…I think I’ll go empty my dishwasher! 

Being a keeper of our homes is one of the roles we are created for, sisters (Titus 2:5). Yes, it takes consistent work, but what a gift! Small steps with Kingdom purpose yield peace-filled results. God bless you and fill your homes with His order and peace today!

We would like to thank Jill Brown for writing this post.

Having Peace as a Working Mom

Editor’s Note: During the month of May, we will focus on learning to have peace in every aspect of our lives. Lean in and ask the Holy Spirit to cultivate this fruit in you. Let’s “seek peace and pursue it” (Psalm 34:14) together! 

As a CFO for Covenant Health System, one of the phrases I use often in my line of work is, “No Margin, No Mission.” If we are not good financial stewards and do not have a good margin, we cannot fulfill our mission of being the hands and feet of Jesus. One day I had a revelation: this should apply to my personal life, too! If I do not have margin in my life, meaning, I do not set boundaries and seek peace, I cannot fulfill the mission of being a disciple of Jesus, an uplifting wife, a fun and positive mom, and a good friend and coworker. Without peace, and I mean the peace that only Jesus can offer, it will be impossible to have anything that resembles margin.  

What does it look like to have peace as a working mom? How do you create margin? I think we often view peace as sitting in a quiet place, drinking coffee, and listening to worship music or reading a book.  We equate it to its true definition, which is freedom from disturbance. In all fairness, in a worldly sense, that is what peace looks like. Those things are great, and goodness I would give anything to have the time to do those things, but the reality is that most days, I do not have that kind of time. Sometimes we have a false sense of what peace looks like because we have false expectations or worldly views.  Routine looks different for everyone, but as disciples of Jesus, peace should not. Peace is not found in any earthly person, place or thing; it is a promise from God, and it is Jesus himself! There are countless verses in the Bible that tell us if we will fix our eyes on Him, He will give us peace. Here are just a few:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27). 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).     

Peace to me lately has looked like truly believing that God wants only good for me and He works all things for my good (Romans 8:28). I was asked to write this blog prior to COVID-19 (insert laughter here). As a hospital administrator, you can imagine my life has changed some since that time. I’m still working fulltime, attempting distance learning with Marek (heavy on the word attempting), and we also moved in the middle of it all. One might say my world has been turned upside down, as many of ours have, but through all of this I have remained at peace. Are the days stressful? Of course! Am I exhausted at the end of most days? Absolutely! But peace does not equate to a relaxed schedule, and true peace is not circumstantial; peace simply equals trusting God.

I’m going to trust that God is who He says He is, and that manifests peace in my soul.

Anxiety is a lie. It tells you that you are not enough, you are not equipped to handle your purpose, and it causes you to live in a world of worst-case scenarios. I choose the peace of Jesus over anxiety! 

As for creating margin, last week I drove to Sonic and ordered a chili cheese dog, turned on worship music, and sat in my car eating junk food and worshiping Jesus, proclaiming that we are going to see a victory. Margin will look different for everyone, but find those small moments in your day, even if that’s all you have, to create margin.    

May mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance (Jude 1:2) my friends, as we face whatever trials might come our way.

We would like to thank Cassie Mogg for writing this blog post!

Helping Our Kids With Anxiety

Editor’s Note: During the month of January, we will be reposting some of the top posts from 2019. I hope these encourage you. We have some great series planned for 2020. Stay tuned for all new posts coming in February!!

With the beginning of a new school year, parents and kids alike start to feel the pressure: pressure to perform, pressure to fit the societal mold, pressure to uphold a strict schedule. Some kids take this pressure more seriously than others and begin to internalize fear. Anxiety can rear its ugly head in many different ways, making it difficult for a parent to identify and to help the child cope. As parents, all we want is to raise resilient, Godly, strong world changers, but they can’t be those things if they are not equipped with the tools to overcome obstacles.

If your child is struggling with anxiety, they could have a wide array of struggles such as: having difficulty sleeping, intolerance of changes in schedule, avoiding activities or events (such as school or social situations), having a need to control other people or events, crying or difficulty managing big emotions, having high or unrealistic expectations of themselves, or even physiological symptoms such as constant stomachaches or headaches. All of these symptoms of anxiety can make it difficult for kids to function in school as well as at home. So how can we help as parents? How can we help our children to walk in a spirit of peace, not of anxiety?

Calm The Body

I would say the first step to easing anxiety is to help your kiddo recognize what it feels like in their body. Help them understand cues in their body that let them know they are anxious. This could include sweaty palms, stomachache, racing heart, tight throat, racing mind, or a feeling of having a weight on their chest. If kids can learn their triggers or cues, it can increase their sense of empowerment over their anxiety, leaving them feeling less helpless. Before kids can learn anything else about what is causing their anxiety or how to dispute their anxious thoughts, they have to learn to calm their body down. Think about it: if you, as an adult, are overwhelmed, flooded with emotion, and have all the physical cues that go along with anxiety, are you able to have a deep and meaningful conversation with a friend? Absolutely not, because your brain is in fight or flight and is not able to reason. Some great self-regulation strategies to calm the body are: 

  • Deep Breathing (in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, out for 4 seconds)
  • 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique: Notice 5 things you see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing positive about yourself
  • Yoga Poses
  • Sensory Calm Down Kit
  • Drawing or Coloring
  • Building something with Legos
  • Wall Push Ups
  • Stress Balls
  • Music

Pinterest is an excellent resource for coming up with fun visuals and ideas to implement these strategies!

Capture Thoughts

The next step would be to help them take their thoughts captive. Talk about those situations that are anxiety-provoking and figure out what the enemy is telling them: “I’m not strong enough to handle this,” “I’m not going to make friends,” “The other kids won’t like me,” “I’m going to get hurt,” or “I’m not going to succeed.” Most likely, those things they are telling themselves during their moments of high anxiety are irrational and not truth-based. Having kids journal their anxious thoughts creates awareness and gives an opportunity to speak truth over those lies.

Speak Truth

I’ve found that having kids write down their anxious thoughts, then turning them around and writing “antidotes” or truths about who they are in Christ to dispute those anxious thoughts is so powerful. Teaching kids this powerful tool of recognizing the lies anxiety speaks and speaking truth over themselves is so valuable and creates a sense of empowerment. So often, kids (and adults) believe they are just a victim to their thoughts and feelings, but God tells us we are conquerors and have the ability to change those thoughts that lead to high anxiety!

My favorite antidotes for anxious thoughts:

I am strong: Psalm 92:10 “Your anointing has made me strong and mighty. You’ve empowered my life for triumph by pouring fresh oil over me.”

I am brave: Psalms 27:14 “Here’s what I’ve learned through it all: Don’t give up; don’t be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord. Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope. Yes, keep on waiting—for he will never disappoint you!”

I am free: Galatians 5:1 “Let me be clear, the Anointed One has set us free—not partially, but completely and wonderfully free! We must always cherish this truth and stubbornly refuse to go back into the bondage of our past.”

I have control of my mind: 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a Spirit of fear and timidity but of power, love and self-discipline” and Philippians 4:8 “So keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind. And fasten your thoughts on every Glorious work of God, praising him always.”

I am a conqueror: Romans 8:37 “Yet even in the midst of all these triumphs, we triumph over them all for God has made us to be MORE than conquerors and his demonstrated love is our glorious victory over everything.”

The Lord is my helper: Deuteronomy 31:6 “So be strong and courageous, do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

As we return to the school year routine, be on guard for anxiousness that might creep into your children’s lives. Pray these scriptures over them. Talk to them about what anxiety is and how they can combat it. And above all, use this as an opportunity to point your kids to the love, grace, and mercy of our Savior. 

We would like to thank Macy Williams for writing this post!

Sexual Immorality Vs. Sexual Purity

Editor’s Note: This fall we will be doing a 10-part series on Flesh vs. Spirit. We hope these ladies’ testimonies will encourage and inspire you to keep pushing through, to keep battling, to keep believing in God’s truth that says you are an OVERCOMER. Though it sometimes feels like we are losing the battle, we have overwhelming victory though Christ and His blood shed on the cross. Be encouraged today!

In today’s culture, it’s obvious that sexuality is a hot topic. But what is God’s view on purity vs. immorality, and how do we get to the place where we all want to be, with a healthy view of sexuality no matter what stage of life we are in?

Purity is not just a subject that we teach teens about one Wednesday night each semester at church when they become the right age. It starts with building a relationship with your 4, 5, or 6 year-old. No, I am absolutely not saying to discuss the topic of sex with your young children, but I am saying that these are the years that the foundation of a good relationship is built between you and your children. These are the years that you engrain in your kids the truth about who God says they are. These are the years that you teach them how to treat others in a way that is pleasing to the Lord. Your children need to know that they are loved and valued members of your family and that their thoughts and opinions matter. There should never be a doubt in their mind that they belong in your family. It is important for kids to know that they too can be an example of faith and purity (1 Timothy 4:12).

And what about the season of singleness? Being a young, single woman is the perfect time to learn and grow deeper in the Word, allow God to speak to your heart, and seek spiritual mentorship and guidance. Abstaining from sexual immorality is not designed to hurt you by any means; it is designed by God to protect your heart. God is a good God, and when the time comes for you to enter into marriage, everyone will celebrate with you and guide you to a healthy sex life. Do not try to fast forward and miss out on all the good things God has for you in this stage of life. By waiting and keeping yourself pure, you are declaring that you are in agreement with what God has for you and your future and you will wait on his timing (1 Timothy 5:22). When a foundation is built on biblical truths and healthy relationships, it’s much easier to trust that God is designing and forming your mate, even as you wait in singleness.

My married friends, you aren’t off the hook! Hebrews 13:4 states, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” With this in mind, I propose that purity is not something we attain, but something we have to keep moving toward. Even immorality can exist in our marriage when our hearts aren’t right before God. Sexual purity is a pathway that leads to intimacy in the marriage bed.

Intimacy in marriage is not just about the sex; it’s about being known and seen deeply. Intimacy is about deeply connecting emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically with your spouse. However, we need to take a deeper look at why we are being intimate with our husbands. Is is a “to-do” you need to check off your list? Or is it to be known and seen deeply, they way that God sees you?

Right after Kambree (our oldest) was born, I was diagnosed with secondary infertility. Simply put, I could not conceive or carry a child after having a successful pregnancy. Because our desire was to have a large family, Josh and I were heartbroken. This diagnosis led to 4 years of surgeries, infertility treatments, pregnancy losses, heartbreak, feelings of lack, frustration, and the list could go on. Because of this, my healthy intimate life with my husband was immediately turned into a task and the “perfect timing” for the medication to have an optimal effect so we could potentially grow our family like we both desired.

Changing my unhealthy view of sex, and getting back to a healthy place was difficult to say the least. In Matthew, we find that the pure hearted will experience and hear from God (5:8). God does not desire sex to be a task on your list. In fact, He has given sex to a couple to grow and learn together but, most importantly, to be known and seen deeply how the Father sees you.

When a relationship is built in the earlier years, discussing this hard topic with your children in the later years is easier and better received. My prayer for you all is that you would desire a pure heart with Godly intentions no matter what stage you find yourself in. God is the God who sees your heart and your desires. You have permission to speak freely with Him!

We would like to thank Mallory Burgett for writing this post!!!

Ungrateful Vs. Grateful

Editor’s Note: This fall we will be doing a 10-part series on Flesh vs. Spirit. We hope these ladies’ testimonies will encourage and inspire you to keep pushing through, to keep battling, to keep believing in God’s truth that says you are an OVERCOMER. Though it sometimes feels like we are losing the battle, we have overwhelming victory though Christ and His blood shed on the cross. Be encouraged today!

For as long as I can remember, my mother has always taught me manners. Manners like, “yes ma’am,” “no ma’am,” “thank you,” and “you’re welcome.” Since becoming a mother a little over 9 years ago, I have tried my absolute best to pass down the trait of manners. Now, the question is…do we really mean it? Are manners just us going through the motion because that is what we are taught? 

To be completely honest with you, I have not always been so grateful or had a heart of “manners” in certain circumstances. At times, I have acted in an ungrateful manner. I’m going to have to go out on a limb and say we all may have at some point in our lives.

But the fact of the matter is, it’s pleasing to the ear and heart to hear someone say, “Thank you!” with a pure and grateful heart. 

Growing up in a household of seven with a father who worked as a full-time minister, you learn to be grateful. My father gave everything he had to pursue the calling God had placed on his life. What did that mean 25+ years ago? It meant limited income. I was raised to be thankful for every meal placed in front of me and every piece of clothing that was placed on my back, which my mother worked so hard to perfect through her sewing. Through all things, God always provided time and time again.

We often forget to be grateful for the needs for which God has provided. Instead we are caught up in being ungrateful for the things we want but don’t or can’t have. 

It is discouraging when you see children and teens acting as if they’re owed something or deserve something. Unfortunately, as adults we, too, act like this. We often act like ungrateful, unappreciative children in our relationship with God. Can we just ponder on how that must make him feel? He is the God of grace, mercy, unconditional love, and forgiveness. But yet, we forget to give Him thanks and often times we take what he has given us for granted. We can catch ourselves feeling as though he has forsaken us when we are not at the place we want to be with our job, finances, physical ability, or our health. When we do not succeed in what we want, we get upset. 

As grandparents, parents, aunts, siblings, and people of influence and authority, we need to be an example and teach our loved ones to have a grateful heart. In scripture, God teaches and commands us to give thanks in all things. Evaluate your heart and ask God to change the ways of your heart and to forgive you for any thoughts or traits of feeling ungrateful. 

“In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”
– Thessalonians 5:18

Dear Heavenly Father,

We come before you and ask that you renew our minds and our hearts. That in all things and in all circumstance you would give us a heart of overflowing gratitude, not for what we have or how much we have, but for what you have given us. Let us remember to always give thanks in the calm and through the storm, on the mountain and through the valley. It is in your mighty name we pray, Amen.

Have a great Thanksgiving.

We would like to thank Jerika Longoria for writing this post!

Rage Vs. Self Control

Editor’s Note: This fall we will be doing a 10-part series on Flesh vs. Spirit. We hope these ladies’ testimonies will encourage and inspire you to keep pushing through, to keep battling, to keep believing in God’s truth that says you are an OVERCOMER. Though it sometimes feels like we are losing the battle, we have overwhelming victory though Christ and His blood shed on the cross. Be encouraged today!

“Move me, O Spirit, to quiet my heart…”

Imagine you are writing a recipe to cook up the yuckiest, most rage-filled moments of your life. I can tell you mine in this season of life (to which I am sure some of you can relate at one time or another), but everyone’s recipe looks a little different. Mine goes a little something like this:

Ingredients:

1 C snoozed alarm (enough to make everyone frantic)

2 C early morning demands with no routine to follow

1.5 C argument with husband

½ C toddler refusing shoes

½ C hair drama

¾ C late night tv watching/Facebook scrolling

2 tsp horrible diet

2 tsp caffeine jitters

1 ½ tsp traffic

Directions: Preheat oven to 5,000 degrees. Throw all ingredients into a bowl. Mix vigorously. Pour mixture into a pan. Cook to a burnt, crunchy crisp.

I joke obviously, but I really have found myself cooking up this recipe time and time again, and not surprisingly, I lose my religion every time over something as mundane as a forgotten water bill. And although the ingredients may vary, this recipe always leads to an explosion of words and tears and all sorts of nonsense that ain’t nobody got time for!

In truth, when an eruption occurs, we know that it is not really the things on the surface that actually cause the explosion. It is all the feelings and emotions not being dealt with underneath the surface, simmering and pressurizing, and eventually exploding under the weight of life’s chaotic nature. It is the flesh holding onto feelings and control in such a deep way that it causes a blast of fury. It is desperately trying to control everything on the outside, instead of what is really happening on the inside.

Proverbs 25 says that “a person without self-control, is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out.” Our flesh is the same as this house. Even though the house is standing tall and strong, the enemy can just climb through a window or walk through the front door and go straight after all the precious valuables inside the home. When we allow our spirit to be pulled away from our flesh and we engage in a rage-filled frenzy, our defenses are down. Our beloved heart, God’s most precious treasure that He has filled with His wisdom and mercy, is left wide-open for attack by Satan, who loves to see us weak and broken. But friends, no one can live in a house with a broken door and windows. And no one can live with a broken heart that has no security or protection. That is not how God has asked us to live.

Choosing to live in the spirit with a heart that is centered on self-control begins with surrender. The Psalmist writes that God “rules over the oceans and the swelling seas…when the stormy waves rise, He speaks, and they lie still.” The wave of rage takes us over because we have failed to surrender all the overwhelming feelings that our Divine Maker never intended for us to carry around. But alignment and control are not on your shoulders. Surrender the feelings. Surrender the control. Surrender the idea that you are more powerful and mighty than the Creator of the Universe. Believe me, you are not. And you don’t want to be!

You have the greatest defender of them all in your corner.

Next time you are standing in the middle of a raging storm of chaos, stop and think about who is fighting your battle and protecting your heart. If you are standing firm in the spirit of the Living God, your windows and door cannot be broken, and you will not feel rage. You will feel peace. Because God is the Prince of Peace. And He will be your Peace, even when you don’t feel peace.

At the end of the day, all the craziness and chaos that make this life hard, will not cease. But remember friend, you are ruled by the One who already has your heart completely.

I’ll end with this beautiful scripture from James 1: 19-21, in one of my favorite translations, The Message. Tend to the weeds and thorns in your heart, so that your Father God can “make a salvation-garden of your life.” Love you friends.

“Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger. So, throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life.” James 1: 19-21 MSG

We would like to thank Emily Parker for writing this blog!

Teaching Our Children To Be Kind To Every Kind

It has been 13 and a half years since David’s stroke. I will never forget sitting in a little family side room staring at the MRI picture of David’s brain. The Pediatric ER doctor pointed to a large, black area of David’s brain and informed us that was the area which had been affected by the stroke. In that moment I wanted to punch the man. I had never had that feeling before and I didn’t know whether to throw up, run out, or bawl. No matter my feelings, I knew in the blink of an eye my life had changed. I was now the mom of a child with a disability. We didn’t know what David’s disability would look like, but we knew there was a long road ahead of us.

In those moments, and in the time since, we have been surrounded by friends and family who have embraced us and David’s disability as we have walked this path. We are so grateful. Community always makes it easier, no matter what hardship you are walking through. And, let’s be honest. We all face hardship.

Recently a young mom asked me, “How do I teach my children to love kids with disabilities?”

There are a lot of practical ways to answer that question, and yet, one very simple, absolutely crucial answer. I’ll start with the simple answer and follow with a few practical ideas.

The simple answer is to show love. That seems cliché, but honestly, what families with special needs children need is a lot of love. Teaching your child to love those who are different is a task that all parents are called to and it begins with the parent.  Parents must be able to see a child with a disability and then be intentional in showing that child, and that child’s family, love.

Here are a few practical ways people have shown our family love:

  • Meeting physical needs:  Right after David’s stroke, and really until he was about 4, we had to be in Lubbock for appointments 2-3 times a week. People were so faithful to help in so many ways, bringing food, giving gift cards, etc.  I am not necessarily talking about something that was organized, although that did happen. I’m talking about people hearing from the Holy Spirit, calling and asking if they could bring us dinner, or gifting us in other tangible ways. It was always at just the right time and such a sweet expression of Christ’s love to our family.
  • Including David:  When you have weakness on one side of your body, every physical activity is more difficult. You cannot carry a plate of food at a birthday party or open your own juice box. You are not able to ride a bicycle in the neighborhood with the other boys, and people often have to adjust their plans or activities to meet your needs.  I was always so grateful for friends who would call and honestly ask, “Can David come over, and what do we need to do to help him?” Although that can be a bit uncomfortable to address, it is so helpful to the child with special needs and their family.
  • Giving a needed respite:  Raising a child with special needs is constant. It is hard to explain unless you are doing it. I am so thankful for my family and a handful of friends who were happy and willing to keep David and care for him so Brad and I were able to have a few days away.
  • Speaking words of life and truth:  I cannot tell you the number of people who have prayed for David. We have received cards from all over the world. At first it was hard to hear these prayers of concern, largely because of my own disappointments. However, even in my less than grateful response, people continued to pray and believe for David. What joy it brings when people speak words of assurance and blessing over David. His life is different than we imagined it would be when we brought him home from the hospital, but he is the perfect gift that God intended him to be and he will continue to be as he grows and walks in the paths God puts before him. To this day we have a dear doctor friend who believes in David’s complete and total healing. To say the least, it is always refreshing when David sees him.

This post just scratches the surface of our life with David. My prayer is that people will always see those in need and respond in the way God is calling them to respond. Early on God showed me a verse in Proverbs 31. I think it directly speaks to those with a disability and how we should respond. 

Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all the unfortunate. Open your mouth, judge righteously, and defend the rights of the afflicted and needy.

Proverbs 31:8-9 

David is a normal 14 year old who has minimal limitations, for that we are grateful. But we are surrounded by so many who have extreme limitations. Let’s be sure we are always an expression of Christ’s love to them.

We would like to thank Julie Snellgrove for writing this post!

Family Game Night

Is your home fun? Psalm 118:15 says that “the sound of joyful shouting and salvation is in the tents of the righteous.” We, above all people, should have homes where laughter and joy ring out, homes that are fun places to be. In our Kingdom Families trainings, Myles Sweeney talks about the walls of our houses being saturated with laughter. Canadian blogger and pastor’s wife Elisha Galotti even goes so far as to challenge us, “Believe that laughter is as important for our children as proper nutrition.”

As mothers, we are extremely influential in setting the atmosphere of our home, and then RE-setting it again and again, as many times as it takes. It doesn’t mean we have to be perfect at it — but it means we do have that power. Let’s access that power to make our homes those pleasant places where people want to be. 

One excellent way to cultivate that atmosphere at your house is to schedule a family game night this summer. Playing games together builds a family culture, breaks up any routine monotony, and gets everyone interacting around the table. Our family has so many hilarious memories from game nights with aunts and uncles and grandparents. Just mention a naked mole rat to one of my boys and see where the conversation might lead…

When our boys were very young, we did our fair share of CandyLand, Chutes & Ladders, and Go Fish, later graduating to Monopoly, Scattergories, and Clue. We also like to change up the rules on the ol’ classics. Our personal versions of Yahtzee abound — roll straight down the card in order; speed round where everyone plays at once; roll 4 times each turn instead of 3. What about trying a twist on Pictionary — “Charade-tionary,” anyone? Teams take turns acting out the 5 words listed on the cards with a 1-minute time limit. Scrabble tiles can be used to build individual little crossword puzzles. Just pick up 2 additional letters every time someone uses up all their letters. Similar to Bananagrams, this quick-moving little gem is otherwise known as “Take Two.” Sometimes we pass Catchphrase around the dinner table without worrying about teams or score-keeping, and it basically turns into a happy-shouting free-for-all. 

Other Brown favorites that might be less well-known include Telestrations, Guess Who, Pass the Pigs, Ticket to Ride, Whoonu, and 15,000 (played with 5 dice). Creative brain games like ABC’s, Name 5, and logic puzzles have kept us occupied for hours on road trips. We’ve been known to hold Talent Shows, Comedy Nights, and Wii bowling tournaments when the big family comes to town for the holidays. Speaking of tournaments, a group of our friends even prints out championship brackets and awards prizes when we get serious about Marbles. (Competitive, much??) You probably have your own repertoire of favorites. Share them with us in the comments below?

Even if you don’t feel like a “game person,” even if your family members moan or resist the idea at first, I challenge you to be the initiator. This summer might be the perfect chance to shake things up! Try something new! After you get over that initial hump, I’d bet you money that everyone will be laughing and making memories in spite of themselves before the night is over. Game on, girls!!

We would like to thank Jill Brown for this blog post!

Sibling Love

Sibling Love

Editor’s Note: This is a post from a couple of years ago. Teaching the value of loving our siblings is important. This is a great post to revisit as we begin summer!

When we really stop and think about the people who have impacted our life, there are certain qualities that they all have.

They show care: when you’re hurting, they’re there to see what they can do to help.

They show concern: when they see something is different in your life, they ask you about it. They’re concerned for who you are, what you’re going through and what you need.

They display kindness. They let you choose first. They give you gifts out of kindness. They speak words of encouragement over you. They smile and are welcoming. You feel and know their kindness.

Care, concern, and kindness mark the people who impact us. As I think about my boys and raising them, I’m keenly aware of who I want them to become. But I’m also aware that more is caught than taught. I’ve been asked many times, “Do your boys really like each other?  Are they really friends?”  The answer is yes.

Although friendships are never easy, especially within a home, when we model healthy friendships, it rubs off onto our kids. When we show care, concern and kindness, our children learn this as the norm.  When we remind our kids that we are people who show care, concern and kindness, it helps them remember to “be”not to “strive for “—those attributes.

Parenting isn’t easy, but really everything worth doing has its challenges.

I’d rather fight the battle at home and raise men who impact the world, than make excuses for why my children are unkind, self-consumed, and careless. How about you?

Practical To-Do’s for Siblings:
– Always say sorry
– Always say I forgive you
– Always hug it out (sometimes I make my boys sit on the couch and hug each other, or hold hands until they stop fighting…some days that’s worse than a spank)
– Remind them they will always be best friends
– Play together
– Work together
– Pray for each other
– Show gratitude and say thank you to each other

Here’s a few cheap summer activities for you and your kids:
* Go get snow cones
* Buy a decent, over-the-door basketball hoop and shoot hoops indoors
* Make tents out of blankets in your living room and watch movies, read books, have tea parties inside it
* Pour all the Legos out in the living room and build a gigantic Lego fortress
* Visit Palo Duro Canyon
* Run through the sprinklers
* Use mini marshmallows and toothpicks to build mini-tower structures
* Bubbles… all ages love bubbles
* Fly a kite
* Build an obstacle course through the house or in the backyard
* Watch your favorite sports team and make up chants
* Play video games
* Get a month free subscription to Netflix
* Have a sleepover in the living room
* Laugh a lot
* Enjoy the ones God gave you

I love my boys, as I know you love your kids. May we continually remember what precious gifts they are to us and that God has picked you to mother the children he’s given to you, and me to mother the boys given to me.

Be blessed my sweet friends, enjoy your kiddos and enjoy the summer.

This post was written by Julie Snellgrove. To read more about her, click here.