Rude Vs. Kind

Editor’s Note: This fall we will be doing a 10-part series on Flesh vs. Spirit. We hope these ladies’ testimonies will encourage and inspire you to keep pushing through, to keep battling, to keep believing in God’s truth that says you are an OVERCOMER. Though it sometimes feels like we are losing the battle, we have overwhelming victory though Christ and His blood shed on the cross. Be encouraged today!

This morning I’m writing to you from my kitchen table. Even though I’m home today with a little man battling allergies, I’m filled with bone-deep peace. I wish I were a prolific writer, so I could fully describe the early morning beauty outside my window. The sun is weaving through the trees, and y’all, the breeze blowing through my window just speaks of fall. Can I get a collective pumpkin spice latte toast to this changing of season?

The challenge before me today is to write to you, my friend, about flesh vs. spirit in the context of rudeness vs. kindness. I know that the telling of a story is one of the most effective ways to communicate one’s heart. So, on this quiet fall morning, I’m tugging my mind back to a time when my life wasn’t as peaceful as it is today.

Let me set the stage for you. Seven years ago, give or take a few months, I had four children in the home. They were 16, 14, 10, and 2. The older three were all in some form of athletics on top of their demanding school schedules. I was at Wolfforth Methodist in full-time children’s ministry with my fingers dipped into several outreach ministries to keep my heart busy. I was stretched. I was alone. The father of my children was deep in a battle with alcoholism and was losing ground every day. I was hanging on by a fraying thread. 

I am an outspoken advocate for setting your children up for success, but this one Tuesday afternoon I had to make a quick trip to Target for dinner supplies in between work and picking up the older three from three different schools. I had to take my oh-so-exhausted-from-the-day two-year-old with me. It was a recipe straight out of the tattered “How to Raise your Children Better Than Your Parent’s Raised You” handbook. (Not a real book, but you know what I’m talking about, right?)

Disaster it was. He screamed throughout the entire store. Amid the frustrated looks from my fellow shoppers, there was one who stood out. She was on the journey with me. Through every isle and every turn, she was right there. Right there with me with the looks and the sighs and “the I can’t believe you brought your child into the store” frown upon her face. I couldn’t shake her. I bobbed. I weaved. I lingered. She was determined to travel with me. 

Finally, the checkout radiated before me, not unlike my vision of the pearly gates. I handed my little man a hundred-dollar bill to pay the weary cashier, and he wouldn’t let it go. What was I thinking?! He held onto that $100 bill with the same mighty grip he’d use on my red Sonic straw. You know the grip. I looked around to apologize for the wait, and who would be behind me in line? You guessed it! We made eye contact just as she threw her hands in the air and yelled (yes yelled) to all the surrounding shoppers, “Do you see this?! Do you see this?!” It was the final sword piercing my side. I was done. I was defeated. My thread was no longer frayed…it was worn completely in two. I remember climbing in my car that day with thoughts that could only be born of the enemy. I was a failure. I was not enough. I was a burden. I was done.

On this fall morning, I Iook back and wonder what if my fellow Target journeyman would have shown kindness in place of her exasperation…her rudeness? What if she had laid her hand on my shoulder and said, “it’ll be alright. This is just a season.” Would I have been encouraged? Refreshed? Through my story, my heart hopes for you to remember we don’t know the journey that others are traveling. The truth and the life challenge are that we are called to love one another…no matter what. We ALL have the capacity to be kind. It is written in our very DNA. God would not call us to love without equipping us to do so. Loving others is a choice. Rudeness is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Within you is the ability to bring a smile to the weariest of travelers. Challenge yourself to do so. Challenge yourself to live out the blessing of love and kindness. It carries the power to change lives, including your own!

We would like to thank Amy Davey for writing this blog post!

Busy Vs. Intentional

Editor’s Note: This fall we will be doing a 10-part series on Flesh vs. Spirit. We hope these ladies’ testimonies will encourage and inspire you to keep pushing through, to keep battling, to keep believing in God’s truth that says you are an OVERCOMER. Though it sometimes feels like we are losing the battle, we have overwhelming victory though Christ and His blood shed on the cross. Be encouraged today!

“Crazy-busy is a great armor; it’s a great way for numbing. What a lot of us do, is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we’re feeling and what we really need can’t catch up with us.” – Brene Brown

When I read this quote over a year ago, it stopped me in my tracks. I was busy. And yet, I kept picking more up. When I was in college, I knew that those who couldn’t sit in the silence had something wrong with their hearts. They were scared to stop – and yet, 12 years later, that is where I found myself – scared to stop. For me, as for many of us, our busyness is our numbing. It is our flesh’s attempt to keep the pain at bay. It’s the enemy’s attempt to keep us from what God really has for us – because if we are numbing the bad, we are also numbing the good.

I didn’t want my flesh to continue winning. I didn’t want the lies of culture which made me see busyness and exhaustion as symbols of status and productivity to keep winning. I wanted to seek and find victory in this area of my life. So with my eyes opened, I began to seek God’s truth over the busyness. One word began rolling around in my heart – intentional.

In everything I did, I began to monitor my heart, and my intentions in why I was doing it. When choosing how to spend my time, I began to ask some questions:

  • Why am I doing this? Am I doing it as unto the Lord, or unto man? (Col. 3:23)
  • Does this line up with my goals, vision, and God’s direction for my life?
  • I also began to ask, “Jesus, what do you want me to do with my time today?” (When I practice this consistently, I find that my productivity actually skyrockets, even though I don’t set out to do as many “things.”)

In addition to monitoring my heart and motives, I began to put some boundaries in place, to guard my heart, and my time. The Bible says that “Above all else, guard your heart” and I discovered that when I didn’t guard my time, the first things to go, were the things I had in place to guard my heart. Below are just a few ways I have found to guard my time:

1. Choose – You get to CHOOSE. For many years, I felt like my schedule was dictated by others. Whether this was my kids, husband, boss, co-workers, etc., I did not feel I had the power to choose how to spend my time. It was all already allotted for. I often felt swept away to care for everyone else’s needs and not my own. This is not a good place to live life from. And you know what? Not choosing, is still choosing. Be intentional.

2. Say No – As I learned to choose, I learned that one of my options was no. NO IS AN OPTION! So many times, we as women feel like we can’t say no, because we are going to let someone down, disappoint them, or leave them in a tough place. But the truth is – God will provide for them even as he provides for us. You can say no.

3. Make a Schedule – When I had my first child, and became a stay at home mom, I loved the flexibility that it provided me. I could go and do what and when I wanted, and take care of my business when it was convenient for me. This was all very true. But at some point, the flexibility of it became a hindrance to me. I believed that my flexibility was for everyone else’s benefit, and my business (laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc.) became the last things to get taken care of. By the time I had four kids…this was out of control. So, I made a schedule. Monday mornings, we clean, Wednesday mornings are meal-prep, Thursdays are other projects (cleaning out a closet, clearing a flower bed, other projects that just need to get done), and Fridays are for a little more fun. I now work part-time, so my afternoons, while my kids are napping, are for my work. Having a schedule, and some boundaries, has greatly changed how I am able to be intentional with my time.

4. Make Dinner in the Morning – As part of my schedule, I meal prep. For me, that means that on Wednesday mornings, I make all of our dinners for the month. I’m not a fan of cooking anyway, but I find that taking care of it in the morning, allows me to be fully present with my kids during those crazy afternoon hours between after school and dinner. This has changed our lives!

 5. Leave Margin – Leave some space! This way, when a friend calls, and wants to have a play date, or a family member needs help, you have the margin to do so if that is what you CHOOSE to do.

6. Be Where Your Feet Are – In an effort to intentionally use my time well, I try to be fully present. I used to think I was a master multitasker – but the truth is that multitasking just made me stressed and frustrated. I was never fully present wherever I was. I was always trying to get more done than just being there. Now that I’m fully present, I’m also much more pleasant 🙂

The real key to being intentional and not just busy? Walking with the Spirit. Galatians 5:16 says “walk by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of your flesh.” My flesh, and my enemy want me to stay busy – just to keep me busy. To keep me distracted. But when I choose to slow down, and walk with the Spirit, He guides each and every step. Our victory over busyness has already been won, we just need to choose to walk that out – right beside the Holy Spirit.

We would like to thank Brooke Kellum for writing this blog post!

Mindset of Peace

Editor’s Note: We have asked a few women to share their talks from our last Life Giving Saturday. If you weren’t able to attend, this is a perfect opportunity to hear these women’s hearts. We know they will encourage you!

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Philippians 4:4-8 (ESV)

I’ve read and/or heard these verses countless times in my life. But over the course of a few weeks last summer, the Lord unveiled this passage in a new and fresh way to my heart. In the past, I’ve had a tendency to read these verses as individual thoughts, rather than how I believe it was meant to be read: as one principle – a promise sandwiched between responsibilities that we carry as believers. 

In verse 7, scripture promises that the peace of God will guard our hearts and minds in ways that are beyond our understanding. However, we aren’t passive onlookers in this process; we have a role to play. Surrounding this verse, we are commanded to rejoice and pray out of a place of gratitude rather than anxiety, and we are also instructed to use some serious self-control when it comes to our thought life. 

The Greek word “guard” used in verse 7 means to protect by a military guard to prevent hostile invasion. When I began to study this word several months ago, the Lord gave me a mental picture of a walled city. This city was in the shape of a circle, and it was surrounded by a concrete wall a couple stories high. There were gates spaced throughout the wall and several armed guards stationed at each gate to protect the city. As I saw this picture, Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, “every time you focus on a problem that you’re facing rather than focusing on me, and every time you agree with fear and anxiety about the future, you send away a guard that is there to protect your heart. Your thought life is leaving your heart open to invasion from the enemy.” 

I don’t know about you, but if I’m not careful, it can be easy for me allow my thoughts, feelings, and prayer life to be guided by my circumstances. This can lead me down a path of worry and fear really quickly! However, the Lord is calling me higher than that. I want to allow His goodness to shape these areas of my life. I want my heart to be filled with gratitude, and my mind to be filled with thoughts of things that are honorable, pure, lovely, excellent, and worthy of praise. I want my prayer to focus on what’s on God’s heart, rather than be solely focused on what I’m worried about.

Here are some practical things that can help us fix our minds on things that bring life and peace:

  • Read God’s word and think about it throughout your day
  • Write down scripture and post it where you’ll see it often
  • Play worship music, and engage in worship while you work
  • Go back from time to time and look at pictures that remind you of God’s history of goodness in your life
  • Make it a habit to practice gratitude

When I am intentional about practicing these principles, I feel the guard of peace surrounding my heart and mind, even in the middle of real life. Would you join me in this journey? Let’s be women who are governed by peace rather than ruled by fear. 

We would like thank Catherine Dunn for writing this blog!