Editors Note: During the month of April, we will be focusing on marriage. We hope these posts encourage you to go to new depths in your marriage during this season. Marriage operates BEST when God’s plan is followed. Be encouraged today!
I’m about to type a verse that I am sure we have all heard many times. But I need you to make me a promise. Promise me that you will read it out loud. If you’re not alone at least promise me that you will read it in a semi-awkward mouthing whisper. Okay? Promise?
“This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united as one. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart” Mark 10:7-10.
Okay. Make sure you really let it sink in.
Now, let’s focus on that last part, “let no one split apart.”
Whenever I’ve read this in the past, I always had this picture from a movie scene where someone busts through the church door and stops the wedding. Something super dramatic. I’ve always thought of someone from outside of the relationship doing something to hurt it.
But recently God showed me a new picture of this. It goes like this….
“Now that you’ve left your father and mother and have become one, YOU can’t allow ANYTHING to cause separation.”
You see, it usually isn’t some third party pushing through the door that causes pain and separation within your marriage. Instead, we have control over what and who we allow into our marriage that causes problems.
I believe it is God’s desire that we become gatekeepers to our marriage relationship. We must recognize where we have weakness and strongholds and take a stand against them.
What are some things that you need to say “no more” to? Or “you aren’t welcome here.” What are you allowing to cause ill feelings towards your spouse?
Could it be bitterness? Maybe marriage isn’t all you thought it would be and you’re blaming your spouse.
Could it be unforgiveness? Something your spouse did or said that you can’t let go of.
Could it be that your priorities are not in line with God’s word? I recently heard Marriage Today’s Jimmy Evans say, “Most things that destroy marriages are good things kept in the wrong priority.” God’s word tells us that our relationship with our spouse should come directly after our relationship with Him. Some of these good things that us women tend to place ahead of our spouse might be work, children, in-laws, hobbies, and friends. They aren’t bad things. They are good things out of priority.
Could it be that you only choose to serve or show affection towards your husband as a reward after he shows love toward you? This tit for tat mentality isn’t healthy in a marriage.
Whatever that “thing” is, God is saying in the verse we read that it is not okay to let that come between the relationship he desires for you and your husband.
I’m going to challenge you to try something new in your marriage. Stop placing blame on your spouse for any pain in your marriage. Stop placing blame on your circumstances. Instead choose today to control your own thoughts and actions.
That’s really all you can do.
Choose to honor and respect your husband unconditionally.
Have a servant’s spirit. Every husband has what his wife needs and every wife has what her husband needs but only they can serve each other. Instead of waiting for him to serve us, let us, as women of God, choose to serve first.
Choose to show goodwill towards him even if you don’t feel like he deserves it.
Choose to show gratitude for him. Go on a treasure hunt to seek the good in him.
If these things seem impossible to do, the first step is to come to God. Ask God to change your heart towards your husband. Ask the Holy Spirit to begin a new work inside of you. Ask again, day after day, and see what God will do.
Women of Harvest Christian Fellowship, let this be the day that we make a change! Let this be the day that we no longer allow anything to separate our marriages!
We would like to thank Robin Sanders for writing this post!